A - F
G - M
Halfhearted Grin
Honey, Ain't It Great
In Brooklyn
In Our Own Mind
Looking Glass
More or Less
N - S
T - Z
Etc.
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Halfhearted Grin
9/13/99
the cleaning lady says i'm wasting her time
says she comes and does nothing at all
but i'm wondering just where she's been all these years
i'm a mess, as i recall
been searching for someone to tell me i'm free
but i'm losing my will to survive
if all that you'll give me is a halfhearted grin
i'll declare myself half-alive
well, giving the time of day isn't too hard
but it's harder to give what you get
and if getting is all that you feel you can do
this life'll be a painful fit
experience teaches a nasty lesson
about going where you don't belong
it's required learning only once for us all
and the teacher's never wrong
been searching for someone to tell me i'm free
think i'm closer than i was before
if all that you'll give me is a halfhearted grin
i'll remember you're one to ignore
life sure has a talent for keeping the pace
but it's easy to stand here and wait
i hope apathy isn't your specialty, yeah
death isn't a swinging gate
Honey, Ain't It Great
7/26/99, revised 1/6/99
livin' the veto down around the kitchen floor
seein' as how we're nothing less, i guess we're nothin' more
makes me wonder if we're somewhere down the middle
past the edges is alive, but sometimes you gotta die a little
sold out or sellin', i guess there's no difference
i've seen where we're going, and it's not a coincidence
but all this aside, there's a flat tire waitin' down the road
and all this aside, i think i've paid more than i ever owed
hearin' the road just beneath my old nightmare
it's closer than it seems, but i can't tell you it's unfair
i've been asking for some way, just one way to live
and dyin's no better when you have to forgive
i'm somewhere between us, when truth is elusive
and demons are neighborly, and angels reclusive
it's out there beyond me, yeah, i see it right there
you're out there beyond me, and i hope you can care
it's half past your laughter
it's a quarter past too late
it's the joy, peace, and patience
and honey, ain't it great
who's standing beside me, is it my alter ego
come to give us the story, come to put me down nice and slow
am i under orders or do i have my free will
is the door open wide, or do i kneel on the windowsill?
the heart of the lie ain't a fact, turn it loose
it's a piece of the devil, it's a five and dime noose
turn the page of the notebook and read what you see
give me secrets from inside me, give me what i need
is it now that i find you've been here since the preface
i've been eatin' my dinner when it's time for my breakfast
blind mistakes, yeah, i know 'em, i've been their sustainer
i've been searching the cabinets but ignoring truth's container
if it's true that i've seen it, that it's been there before me
then maybe i'm not as bad, then maybe i can see
open my eyes and find truth with my name on it
reach out and pick it like eve picked and ate it
but instead of finding eve's hive she set free
it's all turned around, and this fruit is just what i need
instead of the pain heaped on eve's sorry head
i'm losin' all my sorrow, got no regrets for the life i've led
it's half past your laughter
it's a quarter past too late
it's the joy, peace, and patience
and honey, ain't it great
In Brooklyn*
5/23/00
mother at the window
father in his hat and coat
there i am with brush in hand
and palette i have known
mother in the middle
father standing on her right
there i am on mother's left
with palette by my side
mother with her anguish
father with his traveling case
there i am with spattered clothes
and palette void of grace
i have my spear
i have my shield
and mother hangs like vivid fiction
father stands
apart from me
in brooklyn is a crucifixion
mother at the window
father silent as she cries
there i go with bags in hand
and palette by my side
*Read Chaim Potok's book My Name Is Asher Lev.
In Our Own Mind
1/31/99
and the train has jumped the tracks of never-ending
words of active apathetic truthfulness
but our mortal songs of happy-ever-after
will be ever more the truth in our own mind
through an empty plain of excess desolation
all the promises from yesterday's regrets
bloom to flowers of another sort of heartache
while the death extends the lifetime of a lie
smiling for the picture gives the world an image
that belies a grim defiance of ourselves
lies replace a feeling of belated blindness
but the irony is hiding in the past
if our shining declarations speak of nothing
and our truthfulness has seen its own demise
all the words that speak of happy-ever-after
cease to placate every fear we hold inside
and the moon is speaking volumes to the masses
but the sermon hasn't ever been unknown
to our mortal songs of happy-ever-after
which have always been the truth in our own mind
and the train has jumped the rails of never-ending
words of active apathetic truthfulness
but our mortal songs of happy-ever-after
cease to masquerade as truth in our own mind.
Looking Glass
12/1/99
there's a man up there who's hoping that you'll see him
he's been waiting just beyond the overpass
heaven's standing on the shoulder with his thumb up
and his sign says "won't you eye my looking glass?"
see decaying buildings looking at a streetlight
standing tall, but it gave up on life itself
there's a soul just waiting down there in the darkness
with a hope that can be taken off the shelf
look in storefront churches, see who's selling jesus
by the yard, the pound, the minute, or the gross
"got a great old deal, salvation for a handshake
you just come inside, i'll show you how it goes"
preacher says he's not the man to show perfection
but he claims to know the one who says he is
got a skeptic tellin' off the preacher's maker
"hey big man, i got no time for all of this"
"got no time," he says, "for none of what you're sayin'
it don't pack no punch, don't hold me any sway"
"say you got no time," says preacher, "but i'm patient
walk on past the door, but i'll preach anyway"
see the blind man doing less than window shopping
thinks that store's not good enough for his two cents
sees the dollar store and says "hey, there's my bargain"
but the paradise they have is just for rent
there's no hurry on the street, just empty walking
see no evidence of life that's moving past
but there's heaven on the sidewalk with his thumb up
and his sign says "won't you eye my looking glass?"
More or Less
4/21/99
something's knocking but the doorway has escaped me
and the ringing in my ears hasn't left
but the suitcase that you packed for my departure
stands to carry everything i regret
it's nothing more
more or less
i confess
there's a greenback there to aid me in my failure
seems to me it should have browned long ago
let it singe me and i'll wake up by tomorrow
did you really say you want me to go?
it's nothing more
more or less
i confess
from the hallway i can hear the conversation
and i'm finding that it's all about me
but the gist of what's been said is far from happy
so i guess this is a bad place to be
it's nothing more
more or less
i confess
on the staircase there's a carpet laid before me
and the color seems to be a deep red
it's a hint, i know, but can't you be more subtle?
one-way signposts don't leave much to be said
it's nothing more
more or less
i confess. |