T.A.D.: Week 2 vs. Monroe

Freshmen: d. by Monroe, 6-54
JV: d. by Monroe, 7-27

Varsity 2010 record: 2-0 (0-0 SEC White)

Location: Chelsea, MI
Opponent: Monroe
Mascot: The Trojans
Real Mascot: The Fighting Scrub Brushes.  Wouldn’t this make a great mascot?
Last Decade vs. Chelsea: 0-1.  Monroe never faced Chelsea until joining the SEC in 2009.
Last Game vs. Chelsea: Chelsea defeated Monroe 41-7 in 2009

The story so far:
The victory over Huron provided a highly positive start to the post-Nick Hill era, with the security blanket of a stout defense complementing a considerably more diverse offense.  Week 2 brought all those positives back to Jerry Niehaus Field to start the home schedule against Monroe, a team that suffered a number of lopsided losses in 2009 but demonstrated ample improvement in 2010 with a close week 1 loss to perennial SEC contender Adrian.

First Quarter:
As they did last week, the Bulldogs started the game faster than Lightning McQueen on a caffeine buzz.  After a Monroe three and out and a short punt, Chelsea marched down the field and finished its opening drive with a two-yard Truman Hadley touchdown run; another Monroe three and out yet again provided good field position, and that good field position turned into a nine-yard Berkley Edwards touchdown run.  The resulting 13-point deficit finally irked the Scrub Brushes enough to prompt some life out of them, and a 48-yard kick return into Chelsea territory gave the Monroe offense the spark it needed to find the end zone near the end of the first quarter.

Second Quarter:
The second play of the quarter was a Chelsea punt, and it started to go steeply downhill from there; the punt left Monroe on its own 12, but before long the Scrub Brushes had a first and goal on Chelsea’s nine, threatening at least to tie the game with a touchdown and even — gasp! — to take the lead with an extra point.  Facing a fourth and goal on the three, Monroe elected to avoid the field goal attempt in favor of the siren song of the potential of six points; that proved to be a mistake, as the Chelsea defense made the stop at the one.  On the next play, quarterback Brian Paulsen connected with receiver Mason Borders for 33 yards, and before Monroe could blink as many times as one might blink in a minute and a half, Chelsea had finished its 99-yard, 90-second scoring drive with a nine-yard Paulsen touchdown pass to Chris Ballow.

The rest of the quarter was relatively uneventful; Monroe fumbled once, but Chelsea couldn’t capitalize on the turnover.  Still, Chelsea retained its 19-7 lead at the end of the half.

Third quarter:
The start of the second half was a mirror image of the first, with Monroe forcing a Chelsea three and out and moving down the field to score.  A second Chelsea punt paved the way for another strong drive by Monroe, but it ended in disaster when the Scrub Brushes fumbled the ball away inside the Chelsea 20.  The Bulldogs offense ate up the last two minutes of the third quarter…

Fourth Quarter:
… and the first two minutes of the fourth quarter on its way to a 17-yard Paulsen touchdown pass to Borders.  Monroe soon fumbled the ball yet again, and three minutes later a one-yard Paulsen touchdown run to provided a considerably more comfortable 31-13 lead…that lasted all of 14 seconds thanks to a 77-yard Monroe touchdown run.  Oops.  Chelsea recovered Monroe’s onside kick, but an interception gave the Scrub Brushes the ball on the sunny side of midfield with just under five minutes to play; however, though Monroe worked its way into another first and goal, the Chelsea defense again stood tall on fourth and goal, making the stop on the five yard line with only 59 seconds left in the game.  Two knees later, the game was done.

Final Score:
Chelsea: 31
Monroe: 20

Don’t Forget My Number:

  • Joey Newland led Chelsea in rushing with 121 yards on 18 carries.  Berkley Edwards followed with 62 yards and one touchdown on 14 carries.
  • Mason Borders led Chelsea in receiving with 122 yards and one touchdown on five receptions.  Also, for the second consecutive week, Borders caught a pass from receiver Nate Udell.
  • The Bulldogs committed no turnovers this week, but they did have a problem with one particular penalty: five of their nine penalties were defensive offsides.
  • The bulk of the statistics were remarkably even, with Chelsea having only an eight-yard advantage in total yardage.  However, two numbers doomed Monroe: they lost three fumbles, and they were only 2 of 11 on third down conversions.

Photographic Evidence:

Chelsea linemen practice an alternative to the Heimlich Maneuver.


This is not a stickup.  They’ve just got spirit.  Yeah!


Coach Scheese is begging you to gain yardage.  Please?


Conor Tait is singin’ in the rain, but without the rain.  And the singing.


Joey Newland has a strict no-hitchhiker policy, but some hitchhikers are persistent.


There used to be a lineman over center, but David Slusser vaporized him with his glare.


It’s the newest Olympic sport: synchronized footballing!


Apparently someone made the mistake of telling Logan Yordanich to “take his head off.”


Mason Borders does his best Blues Brothers imitation.


It’s so hard to stiff arm a defender when nobody volunteers to be stiff armed.


Obviously, it is the opinion of this jury that the Chelsea football team is good-looking.


Andrew Koch is always ready to comfort those who mourn.  Even if they’re mourning the end of the play and he’s the one ending the play.


Truman Hadley must be looking for #1, Matt Gillespie.


Braylon Edwards’ beard can actually prevent concussions.


Charlie Kempf will not let you derail the Berkley Express.


It’s hard to tell if the defender is running towards Brian Paulsen or away from the edge of the frame.  Either way, he’s in trouble.


Yes, Mason Borders.  The goal posts are that way.  But don’t tear them down just yet!


Cal Bauer and Ray Zielinski must have just seen Justin Bieber!


Matt Gillespie is so happy, he feels like he’s floating.  He looks like it, too.

Next Week:
The Bulldogs face the Controversial Mascots of Ypsilanti.  The game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7pm.  Be there!

T.A.D.: Week 1 vs. Ann Arbor Huron

Freshmen: defeated by Huron, 0-23
JV: defeated Huron, 41-14

Varsity 2010 record: 1-0 (0-0 SEC White)

First, a note to assuage the inevitable curiosity: T.A.D. is the team’s slogan this year, and it stands for Trust, Accountability and Desire.

Okay.  On to the game.

Location: Ypsilanti, MI (Eastern Michigan University’s Rynearson Stadium)
Opponent: Ann Arbor Huron
Mascot: The River Rats
Real Mascot: The Hurons.  If Pioneer can be the Pioneer Pioneers, then Huron should be the Huron Hurons.
Last Decade vs. Chelsea: 0-4.  Huron is 1-6 overall against Chelsea, with the lone victory coming in the first game between the teams in 1997.
Last Game vs Chelsea: Chelsea defeated Huron 35-29 in 2009

The story so far:
Ever since the end of the 2009 season, the Chelsea football program has been bombarded with countless variations of the same question: “What are you going to do without Nick Hill?”  While it’s easy to answer that question with countless variations of “Chelsea football is more than one player,” the only answer that quiets the questions is the answer on the field.  The game against Huron provided an opportunity to show yet again that Chelsea football is not just one player, but a complete and consistent program.

First Quarter:
When phalanges met football (phootball?) to open the 2010 season, senior Matt Gillespie — whom AnnArbor.com described as “diminutive” — gave Chelsea the fastest start possible: he returned the opening kickoff 86 yards for a touchdown.  After the first of Huron’s four first-quarter three and outs, Nate Udell kept the party going with a 48-yard touchdown pass to Mason Borders; after another Huron three and out and a 41-yard Chris Ballow punt return to the 20 yard line, sophomore Berkley Edwards scored his first career varsity touchdown, giving Chelsea a 19-0 lead only six minutes into the game.

The rest of the quarter was decidedly uneventful: Chelsea’s offense took a nap and lost a fumble, and Huron managed to gain exactly one first down.

Second Quarter:
Chelsea’s offensive nap continued into the second quarter, and its sleepiness even rubbed off on the defense: after Bradbury Robinson‘s gentle reminder to Huron that the forward pass is indeed legal, Huron used a 38-yard pass play to invade Chelsea territory on its way to a touchdown.  That touchdown ended the slumber of the Chelsea defense: while Huron’s next drive crossed midfield, it stalled well out of danger at the 40.  However, Chelsea’s offense continued to doze, so the half ended with Chelsea leading, 19-7.

Quite inexcusably, there was no marching band entertainment at halftime.

Third Quarter:
It seems there were no alarm clocks in either locker room at halftime: for over 11 minutes of the third quarter, the closest anybody came to any sort of excitement was a missed 48-yard field goal by Chelsea.  But just when the game was beginning to feel more like golf than football, senior quarterback Brian Paulsen woke up the Bulldog faithful with a six-yard touchdown run with only 25 seconds left in the quarter, giving Chelsea a 26-7 lead.  Huron produced a glimmer of hope with a 29-yard pass play to end the third quarter inside the Chelsea 40…

Fourth Quarter:
…But a series of negative plays and penalties pushed Huron back out to midfield, ending the drive with a short punt and effectively ending hopes for a comeback.  From that point the game consisted of Huron playing football mostly against a cast of Chelsea backups on both sides of the ball.  Even so, Huron couldn’t finish a drive, so the score remained unchanged through the fourth quarter.

Final Score:
Chelsea: 26
Huron: 7

Don’t Forget My Number:

  • Berkley Edwards led Chelsea in rushing with 71 yards and one touchdown on 13 carries.  Joey Newland wasn’t far behind: he had 68 yards on 13 carries.  That is an important answer to the question of what the team will do without Nick Hill because it stands in stark contrast to the Hill era, when Hill would have a couple hundred yards and the next back would have three Solitaire victories on his iPhone.
  • Mason Borders led Chelsea in receiving with 109 yards and one touchdown on 5 catches.
  • The Chelsea defense led both teams in Total Awesomeness, clogging running lanes better than a ball of hair clogs drains: Huron gained only 77 yards rushing, finished 1 for 14 on third down conversions and punted nine times.

Photographic Evidence:

All I said was that there were fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies on the other sideline.  They must have been hungry.


The Huron kicker just wanted to tell Matt Gillespie a secret…


…And Gillespie said, “Sure!  Come tell it to me in the end zone.”


Either they’re enthusiastically volunteering…or they’re doing the wigalow.  Hands up high, feet down low!


Wonders Mason Borders: “Wait…wasn’t there supposed to be a defense?”


Logan Yordanich can multitask: he can make a tackle and look at the camera at the same time!


Side effects of Chris Ballow may include missed tackles.


“Okay…I think we should all go to the Eminem and Jay-Z show in Detroit.  Oh, and I guess we should run a play now, too.”


Is that defender going to be able to stop Berkley Edwards from crossing the goal line?


Of course not!  You can’t stop the Berkley Express from reaching his destination.


Huron tried a radical new strategy of not blocking anybody.  It was a remarkable success.


Charlie Hess will make you jump!  Jump!


Logan Yordanich can push you out of bounds simply by gesturing at you.


Well, look who’s Mr. Popular!


Though Huron’s scouting indicated otherwise, Nate Udell is, in fact, not ticklish.


Calling Joey Newland’s running lane a gaping hole is like calling Warren Buffett moderately wealthy.


No, really: Joey Newland is in there somewhere.


Yes, the Chelsea student section is that intimidating.


Brian Paulsen can’t shake the feeling he’s being followed.


Aaron Johnson knows the answer to your question.


Now that he has your attention, can Logan Yordanich interest you in a timeshare?


You’d think EMU would have opened more than one checkout lane.


“You know what would get that stain out and leave your jersey brilliantly white?  Tide with Bleach.  Trust me.”


Cal Bauer and Anthony Catalina are all about teamwork.


Be careful — if you make eye contact with Matt Gillespie, he’ll steal your soul!


The scoreboard operator cleared the score too quickly, but trust me: Chelsea won, 26-7.

Next Week:
The Bulldogs face the Trojans of Monroe.  The game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7pm.  Be there!