JV: d. Milan 14-7; 5-4 (3-4 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Milan 33-20; 5-3-1 (3-3-1 SEC)

Taylor Hopkins breaks on through to the other side.

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away — in other words, after the 1999 season — Milan traded the SEC for the Huron League. However, life without Chelsea on the schedule was a bit too strange for Milan, so the schools continued to play each other; with two exceptions, Chelsea and Milan have concluded each regular season schedule since 2000 with what amounts to a non-conference SEC game.

For a number of those years, I helped run the press box video camera for the coaches, and that meant I had to endure the joy of the old Milan press box on stilts. You may think I’m joking, but no, I’m serious: it was a big two-story box on stilts, and it would sway in the breeze. We video crews were directed to the roof of the box most years, which meant we were four stories above the field, looking down and seeing the earth rotating beneath us; for someone who has a somewhat contentious relationship with heights, this was not always the most enjoyable experience. But the box on stilts did have two benefits: it was tall, and it was practically on top of the field, providing an excellent view of the game. The old box on stilts is now gone, having been replaced by new home stands that don’t face the setting sun, but the memories of standing on the roof wondering if this would be the year the stilts finally gave out … well, I’ll always have those.

Of course, there is one other aspect of Milan sports that should not go unmentioned: the mascot. We’ve enjoyed a wide variety of mascots this year, but none of them is like the Milan Big Reds. Some may protest the mascot for obvious controversial reasons (none of which include the preponderance of black and the minimum of red in Milan’s current uniforms, which I think is an outrage), but I believe these complaints miss the true intent of the mascot, an intent profoundly illustrated by the following 100% true, completely unaltered photograph.

Your quarterback has long-lasting flavor.

This year’s game between the Bulldogs and the Cinnamon Sticks had every indication of being one of the best of the year. Both teams were conference champions; Chelsea came into the game looking to close out a 9-0 season in its own stadium, while Milan came into the game looking to end its five-game losing streak to Chelsea with its eighth win of the year; Chelsea brought an offense featuring an outstanding running back in Nick Hill, while Milan brought an offense featuring an outstanding running back in Ron Spears.

“How did you get so tall?”

Good luck finding that contact lens.

Chelsea endured a disheartening start to the game when a member of the kick coverage unit took a 15-yard personal foul, giving Milan not just better field position, but a healthy dose of early momentum as well; they made good use of that momentum, marching down the field and scoring a touchdown to take an early 7-0 lead. On its first drive, the offense failed to be the cure for what ailed the Bulldogs as it walked off the field pointless, and the mood on the Chelsea sideline did not improve.

Playing from behind? That’s unpossible!

Fortunately, the defense realized that the state government did not introduce a new tax on tackling, so the next Milan possession was fruitless. Also, the possession after that was fruitless. And the next one, too. In fact, Milan didn’t have another successful drive in the first half, and the Chelsea offense showed its deep appreciation by scoring a touchdown of its own — a three-yard pass to Donny Riedel — in the second quarter. The extra point was not so extra, so Milan still held a slim 7-6 lead at halftime, but it seemed that the 63-headed Chelsea monster had awakened.

Nowhere to run to, baby; nowhere to hide.

Is Ron Spears eating Scott Rhodes’ hand? That’s a new one.

The second half was a crazy combination of great and terrible. The great occurred when Chelsea drove down the field in the third quarter and scored a touchdown — a one-yard Jeff Adams run — to take the lead for the first time in the game; a successful two-point conversion — also an Adams run — gave Chelsea a 14-7 lead and a new confidence in its ability to win the game. People were smiling, flowers were blooming, the economy was improving … and then The Block happened.

On a Milan running play, Tyler Ball was on the bad end of a thunderous (and legal) block that sent him flying through the air with the greatest of surprise; when he hit the ground, it wasn’t with his feet. That he didn’t immediately stand up after an impact of that magnitude was not surprising; what hushed the entire crowd was that the medical staff stabilized his head and neck and strapped him to a backboard. The sight of a player leaving the field on a stretcher is among the most frightening sights in football.

This is always frightening; fortunately, he wasn’t seriously injured.

Though the sight was frightening at the time, it was not as bad as it first appeared; Ball landed awkwardly and was complaining of neck pain, and the medical staff rightly took every precaution to be sure he was not seriously injured. As it turns okay, Ball is fine; in fact, he will be playing this Friday. As a result, people may resume smiling, flowers may resume blooming, and the economy may resume improving. (Please?)

The Block may have cost Chelsea a linebacker, but it didn’t faze the Bulldog defense; the Milan offense gained only one first down on that drive. In fact, there wasn’t much that fazed the Bulldog defense the entire evening; after allowing the opening touchdown, the defense rendered Milan completely, utterly, unwaveringly pointless the rest of the the game. And with time winding down in the fourth quarter, the Chelsea offense thanked the defense by putting together a crucial drive — including clutch third-down catches by Riedel and Hill — that ended with a four-yard touchdown run by Adams with just over one minute left in the game. This extra point was not so extra, either, but the touchdown took any remaining wind out of Milan’s sails and sealed the victory for the Bulldogs.

Seven defenders; one running back. This can’t end well.

Leftovers:

• In the matter of Hill v. Spears, the court rules in favor of Hill. Spears ran for 113 yards and a touchdown, giving him over 2,000 rushing yards on the season. However, Hill ran for 153 yards, and while he may not have scored any points, he made major contributions to two of Chelsea’s three touchdowns; prior to the second and third touchdowns, he made key third-down plays to set up first and goal situations. Simply put, Hill had more of an impact on the game’s outcome than did Spears. And that’s partly because in Chelsea, the defense doesn’t rest.

• On the strength of a 60-yard advantage in rushing, the Chelsea offense had the edge in total yardage this week, 321 to 286.

• In addition to Ball’s ambulance ride, there was another notable loss: center Kyle Raymond injured his knee and did not return. Unlike Ball, he is not expected to play this week.

• This 9-0 season is Chelsea’s fourth undefeated regular season in the last eight years; this playoff appearance is Chelsea’s ninth consecutive (99-07).

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Indians of Tecumse–wait, didn’t we do this already? Oh well. The first-round playoff game is in Chelsea at 7:00 on Friday.

JV: d. by Pioneer 28-14; 4-4 (3-4 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Pioneer 42-22; 4-3-1 (3-3-1 SEC)

DJ Conrad does not believe you are the real McCoy.

In the SEC, Ann Arbor Pioneer is a giant among men. Its enrollment of more than 3,000 makes it the largest in the state, and it dwarfs the vast majority of A schools; out of 186 A football schools, only seven exceed 2,500, and Pioneer is the only school to exceed 3,000. Unfortunately for Pioneer, Chelsea is a nimble, elusive man that knows how to win football games; despite having three times the enrollment of Chelsea (2007 enrollment: 3,204 to 1,005), Pioneer has not yet managed to defeat the Bulldogs in football. Even last year, when Chelsea had its top receiver starting at quarterback and its backup JV quarterback behind him, Pioneer still fell six points short of its first varsity football victory over the Bulldogs. (In an interview after last year’s game, the Pioneer athletic director exclaimed, “A win! A win! My state championships for a football win over Chelsea!”)

In addition to its curious football futility against Chelsea, Ann Arbor Pioneer has one other notable feature: it is the Boutrous Boutrous-Ghali of the SEC. Back in 1936, when there was only one Ann Arbor high school, the Pioneer mascot was chosen; when the current school building was built in the 1950s, the Pioneer name also was applied to the school, effectively giving the world the Ann Arbor Pioneer Pioneers. (When this information was released to the public, many speculated that the city had quietly negotiated a lucrative deal with Wrigley, the makers of Doublemint Gum.)

Of course, when the leaves drop and the temperature changes colors, history takes a backseat to football, and Chelsea had to conclude its 2007 conference schedule against the Fighting Redundancies. This game had the potential to be a trap game for Chelsea; Pioneer brought a 2-5 record into the game, and Chelsea’s final regular-season game will be against Milan and its Studly Stud McStuderson 1,930-yards-in-eight-games running back, Ron Spears. But two of those five Pioneer losses were forfeits due to the participation of an illegal player early in the season, and two more of those losses were last-minute losses against two of the better SEC teams, so that 2-5 record came with more grains of salt than a stadium pretzel. And as this season of college football has shown, every game can be dangerous for an undefeated team.

Sorry, Nick Hill, but they already played the national anthem.

The first few minutes did not bode well for the Chelsea defense; Pioneer took possession and marched down the field, and it looked like the early lead would belong to A2P2. But deep in its own territory, the defense got Pioneer into a fourth down situation, and the field goal attempt failed like the kicking unit was wearing maize and blue. With that crisis averted, the Chelsea offense took control and did almost exactly the same thing, except for one minor little detail: the kick was good.

Michael Roberts and Scott Rhodes have plans for you. You, and your little football, too.

The world stands still when Chris Schmelz runs.

Even though two lengthy drives resulted in a paltry three points, the opening glut of yardage for both teams made it seem as though the game would be one of those newfangled high-scoring offensive battles; however, that was not meant to be the story of the first half. Aside from a Nick Hill touchdown run and a 42-yard Pioneer field goal, pointiness remained nearly as scarce as thoughtful dialogue in politics; Chelsea took a 10-6 lead into halftime, but Pioneer took a glimmer of hope into the second half.

“If you don’t make that call next time, I won’t be your friend on Facebook.”

Stop! In the name of Taylor Hopkins, before you gain a yard.

As usual, the defense is late to Donny Riedel’s party.

That glimmer of hope remained through the third quarter as Pioneer limited Chelsea to only one touchdown (and no extra points) and responded with yet another field goal; through three quarters, Chelsea had only a 16-9 lead. But brilliant mathematicians will tell you that typically, when you’re answering touchdowns with field goals, you’re going to end up a bit short. Especially when you’re playing against an offense that has the ability to stage scoring drives exactly when it needs them. (Now, whether or not it can do the same when it doesn’t need them … well, that’s another topic.)

Cal Bauer scares even the Incredible Hulk.

Every move you make, every breath you take, Rhodes is watching you.

When the fourth quarter arrived, it became apparent that the Pioneer defense had expended its energy over the previous three quarters; it didn’t take long for Chelsea put together a scoring drive to boost its lead to 14. But as quickly as hope flickered for the purple people, it re-ignited when Pioneer put together its own scoring drive to cut the lead back to seven. But when the Chelsea offense took possession after that touchdown — Pioneer’s first (and last) of the day — it doused Pioneer’s hope with a drive capped by an impressive 21-yard touchdown run by Hill to close the scoring.

Leftovers:

• The Chelsea offense outgained another opponent; this time, the margin was 14 yards (310 to 296). However, Pioneer out-firstdowned Chelsea, 15 to 16.

• Nick Hill watch: the sophomore contributed over half of Chelsea’s total yardage (193 rushing yards — 139 in the second half) and all four of Chelsea’s touchdowns.

• Quarterback Jeff Adams gave Chelsea fans another scare this week. After one of his longer runs, he was slow to get back up; when he did, he was in obvious pain, and he was holding his arm. However, he was back on the field for Chelsea’s next drive.

• Sadly, players on both teams got hot under the collar and loud in the mouth during the game. At one point, the officials stopped the game to talk to both teams about their conduct on the field; unfortunately, it didn’t accomplish much, as the jabbering continued throughout the game. I hope this does not carry over to next week and to the playoffs; even one personal foul can be devastating.

• During one Chelsea drive, I was standing near the Ann Arbor News photographer; after another solid run up the middle, the photographer looked at me and said, “You guys are good, but you sure are boring!”

Next week:
Chelsea concludes the regular season by facing the Big Reds of Milan; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00PM.

JV: d. by Dexter 14-6; 4-3 (3-3 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Dexter 41-20; 4-2-1 (3-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 7-0 (6-0 SEC)

They’re big; he’s little.

When it comes to high school sports, we here in Chelsea love the Dexter Dreadnaughts. Of course, when I say “love,” I mean “never, ever want to lose to”; this is because Dexter functions as Chelsea’s Ohio State. (Did you notice how Chelsea is the local favorite and Dexter is the out-of-town enemy in that metaphor? I know what I’m doing here.) Many sporting events between the schools are a little bit more heated and a little bit more exciting; last year provided several outstanding examples of the ongoing rivalry. The final regular-season basketball game between the schools packed Dexter’s gym, and the crowd noise during the overtime thriller left my ears ringing; the hockey playoff game between the schools held the same sort of energy on a smaller scale, and it also went into overtime. Oh, and the schools met in the baseball playoffs, too; that game — also a nailbiter — drew another smaller but similarly excited crowd.

But even as Dexter athletics in general have flourished, the Dexter football program has not achieved that same level of success. Recent history has been particularly unkind to the Dreadnaughts; over the last ten years, as Chelsea has hit its stride, Dexter football has averaged under three wins per season. These struggles have translated into an 11-game streak of Chelsea victories (1996-2006), and that streak has made for a seemingly odd rivalry in which both schools still care about the games despite the fact that Dexter hasn’t beaten Chelsea in football since this year’s seniors were five or six years old.

Ah, but this is the beauty of high school sports rivalries: they can be bigger than just one sport. There may be a gap between the football programs, but on the whole, the Chelsea and Dexter athletic departments are close enough to perpetuate a rivalry. And multi-sport athletes only encourage the rivalry; each time they lose in one sport, they gain a greater determination to win in their next sport. That football player on the losing end wants to win in basketball or hockey; that basketball or hockey player on the losing end wants to win in baseball. Graduation brings an end to each individual cycle of defeat and determination, but there are always more athletes starting that cycle anew each year.

Fortunately for the football rivalry, Dexter football has started to show signs of life. This became abundantly clear last year when Dexter came within nine seconds of ending Chelsea’s winning streak; it took a Jeff Adams touchdown pass to Nate Schwarze to shock the prematurely exultant Dexter students and give Chelsea a narrow 33-29 victory. The close finish reminded Chelsea to take Dexter seriously — a necessary reminder after a string of particularly lopsided games — and it injected more life into the football side of the rivalry. In the light of that game, and because Dexter’s cartoony ship mascot bears some resemblance to the mighty Trogdor, this year’s meeting had all kinds of scary written all over it for the undefeated Bulldogs.

Brad Bush tells Jeff Adams he just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

Sam Birgy shall lay to waste all who dare interfere with Nick Hill.

Just like last week, the game started well for Chelsea. For much of the first half, the Chelsea defense took its usual anti-yardage stance, and the Chelsea offense took advantage of two generous Dexter turnovers to build a 14-0 lead. It wasn’t a gigantic lead, but with the way Dexter’s offense seemed to be struggling against Chelsea’s defense, it seemed substantial enough. But on the horizon was a less encouraging similarity to last week: a collapse late in the first half. A timely punt return put Dexter in position to score, and with only 23 seconds left in the first half, the Dreadnaughts cut Chelsea’s lead in half.

‘Cause we got a mighty convoy, rockin’ through the night.

Scott Naab, Jeff Adams and Nick Hill discuss Michigan’s economic struggles.

Much like fame, 14-point leads can be fleeting.

Last week’s halftime collapse resulted in an early second-half touchdown for Saline; as the teams took the field for the second half, the Chelsea faithful hoped that little tidbit of history would not repeat itself. But this week, though Chelsea’s halftime doldrums continued, they seemed to be new and improved doldrums — now with fewer points allowed! — that yielded only one Dexter field goal. That seemed to bring the team back to life and back to reality; at the end of an impressive drive, Chelsea answered Dexter’s adorable little field goal with a touchdown, and the lead was back to eleven. And while eleven is not as good as fourteen, it’s certainly better than four. And, of course, all of those numbers are better than negative numbers, which aren’t really numbers, but instead are cruel little Terrell Owenses performing touchdown celebrations on your hopes and dreams. In other words, it’s good to have the lead.

Stu Mann enjoys long walks on your quarterback.

Grant Fanning sends his love to the defense.

Even after that touchdown, the game wasn’t done being interesting. Not by a long shot, or even by a 12-yard pass, which is exactly what Dexter used to score a touchdown to keep hope alive. After a failed two-point conversion attempt, the lead was back down to five, and a five-point lead — which is so totally less than a six-point touchdown — registers a thrilling eight white knuckles on my Fourth Quarter Stress Scale. But like a soothing muscle relaxant, the Chelsea running game brought the color back into my knuckles as it ran through the Dexter defense to devour the remainder of the fourth quarter, and that five-point lead proved to be enough to keep the Bulldogs undefeated.

You can quote Brad Bush on that.

Leftovers:

• Here’s a fun one: Chelsea’s total offensive output was 231 yards, which happens to be exactly the same as Dexter’s total offensive output. (In case you were curious, that is according to the Ann Arbor News.)

• It seems like I mention Nick Hill every week, but it also seems like I have good reason to do so; this week, that good reason is his three touchdowns. Math-minded sports fans may have already realized this, but that accounts for every touchdown Chelsea scored this week. (I almost said it accounts for all 21 Chelsea points, but then I realized that would be insulting to the placekicker.)

• As a Michigan fan, I’m just not on board with Dexter’s use of the Michigan helmet design. If they had the right colors, I wouldn’t mind it; however, their colors are those of Minnesota, a Big Ten school whose name is not the University of Michigan. I suppose it’s not as bad as it would be if Dexter’s colors were green and white or red and gray; still, it doesn’t look right.

• At one point during the game, the Dexter student section held up a sign that made me laugh; it said, “Mike Vick the Bulldogs.” Though the accusations against Vick are serious, the sign was a creative change of pace from the usual rah-rah kick-’em-in-the-shins sentiments.

• It seems Tecumseh celebrated Arena Football Appreciation Day on Friday; the Indians defeated the Railsplitters 72-42. Defense? What’s that? It must be some antiquated 20th-century concept.

• Finally, on a more serious note, due to the resignation of the entire freshman coaching staff, Saline has canceled the remainder of its freshman football season. The staff resigned in protest of superintendent Beverly Geltner’s decision to reinstate a player who had been suspended six weeks earlier; from what I’m told, the coaches were justified in suspending the player, and the majority of the parents supported the coaches’ decision. Maybe there is some important detail that hasn’t come to light; maybe the superintendent had some good reason — threatened litigation or a couple angry parents don’t qualify — to step over the athletic director and the entire football coaching staff to reinstate a player. But if she didn’t have any real reason to do so, then she succeeded only in destroying the freshman team and damaging Saline football. And if that is the case, then this situation is a real shame.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Pioneers of, uh, Pioneer; the game is at Pioneer at 7:00PM. Also, after using it three times in one sentence, I am tired of the word Pioneer. Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer.

JV: d. by Saline, 7-13; 4-2 (3-2 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Saline, 27-48; 3-2-1 (2-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 6-0 (5-0 SEC)

For the most part, the SEC is populated by mascots that range from magnificent to innocuous; the lone exception to that rule is one of Chelsea’s strongest football rivals: the Saline Hornets. Bulldogs are appealingly fierce; Pioneers are adventurous; Dreadnaughts are warships; Kicking Mules are stubborn and, um, kicking; Maples are majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves. But Hornets don’t possess any such impressive or appealing qualities; instead, they’re invasive, ill-tempered pests that bring out the exterminator in everybody. (In general, the actual people in Saline are not invasive, ill-tempered pests, so that mascot isn’t particularly representative. Of course, the actual people in Adrian aren’t majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves, either, so I guess that’s not important.)

Despite possessing a mascot that is terrible at making friends, Saline has a strong football program; its overall winning percentage of .624 is just below Chelsea’s .649, and since 1955, it has a 29-21-3 record against Chelsea, making the Hornets strong rivals indeed.

Main Street Coney Island knows where its bread is buttered. So to speak.

Last year’s game was problematic for Chelsea for two reasons: first, quarterback John Seelbach tore his ACL in the third quarter, and second, Chelsea lost. But in a fashion sense, last year’s game was problematic for Saline: thanks to their monochromatic uniforms, they looked a bit like blueberries wearing helmets. Seriously: contrast is a good thing. Put stripes on the pants or something. Please? Thank you.

This year’s game looked like a good opportunity for Chelsea to end its two-game losing streak to Saline; Chelsea was enjoying a 5-0 record thanks to a strong running game and a good defense, and Saline — in addition to having let Vince Helmuth graduate — was on its backup quarterback and was coming off a loss to Tecumseh, a team Chelsea already defeated. But for that favorable situation to translate into a victory, Chelsea had to remember that Saline was no pushover. (Saline helped by not looking like blueberries this year; instead, they wore eye-catching yellow jerseys and changed their name to the Fighting Penalty Flags. And half of that is really actually totally true!)

Look, ma! They’re on TV!

And radio!

The first 18 minutes went very well for Chelsea; aside from one long touchdown pass, the defense handled Saline’s offense, and Chelsea’s offense moved with pleasant efficiency, scoring on three of its first four possessions. When Chelsea held a 26-7 lead late in the second quarter, it was beginning to look as though it would be a rout. But then one disastrous sequence brought Saline right back into the game.

Tyler Ball makes every road a dead end.

Seriously. Nick Hill is getting tired of all these attempted tackles. Go knit a sweater or something.

Stu Mann just wants to know your shirt size.

The sequence began with a crucial play by Chelsea’s defense; Saline was driving late in the second, and a touchdown seemed inevitable. But then a Saline ball carrier fumbled inside the 10, and Chelsea took possession with the opportunity to run almost all the time off the clock and escape with that 19-point lead. A three-and-out left some time on the clock, but a good punt would make it difficult for Saline to score; of course, that notion was dependent upon a good Chelsea punt, and unfortunately, the punt was far from good. Saline took possession in Chelsea territory and, just a few plays later, scored a touchdown. After a successful two-point conversion, the lead was down to 26-15, and all the momentum was in Saline’s favor.

Jake Galarowic and Taylor Hopkins stop, collaborate and tackle.

You can’t spell “special Brian Montoye teams” without Brian Montoye.

They’re not bloodthirsty zombies; they just love quarterbacks.

For a while, the second half didn’t look much more promising; Saline returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown, and what once was a dominating 21-point lead was down to four. But just when Chelsea fans became most nervous, the Chelsea offense — anchored by its running game, which ended up producing 341 yards — drove for a much-needed touchdown to push the lead back to 11. That seemed to put the Bulldogs back in the right frame of mine; Saline managed to put the ball in the end zone one more time, but Chelsea answered that with another touchdown of its own to end the scoring.

Nick Hill is steaming, but he’s not mad.

On TV, Jake Galarowic’s jersey number is 10/9 Central.

Leftovers:

• Unlike the last two weeks, the Chelsea offense actually outgained its opponent this week! And not just by a few yards, either. Chelsea gained 421 yards to Saline’s 260 yards, thanks largely to the aforementioned mountain of rushing yardage. Oh, and also in the new and improved department, Chelsea out-firstdowned Saline, too, 17 to 11. (Yes, I said out-firstdowned.)

• Nick Hill dominated the stat sheet this week; of 341 yards rushing and six touchdowns, he contributed 210 yards and four touchdowns.

• At 6-0, Chelsea has qualified for the playoffs for the ninth consecutive season.

• Chelsea and Saline are two of the stronger programs in the area, so the game attracted plenty of attention; 1600 WAAM broadcast the game live, Fox Sports Net and State Champs sent crews to gather footage, and W4 Country ran a contest at halftime.

• Speaking of W4 Country, I have a bit of a bone to pick with the crew they sent to the game. They brought their van and set up a tent outside the stadium entrance, which is all well and good; however, they set up the van and tent in the handicap parking, taking up three parking spots in the process. Those spots are there for a good reason, and no part of that reason involves radio station promotions.

• Full game gallery. Prints available through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Dreadnaughts of Dexter; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00PM.