The post title provides a clue, but let me give you fair warning: today’s post will feature exactly zero photographs. If you’d like to storm off in a huff, you may do so now.

Those of you who see me on a regular basis know I like t-shirts. (Those of you who know me only on the internet but ask strange personal questions might also know this, but that’s another topic for another day.) How much do I like t-shirts? I like them so much that I’ve even made a few of my own. Not the t-shirts themselves, I mean — I’m no clothier — but the designs on them. And I like all of you so much that I’ve made them available so you can impress your family and friends by wearing these shirts.

All these designs are available on a variety of t-shirts and sweatshirts in a variety of colors. You can see that for yourself by visiting the store.

“Peninsulam Amoenam“

For those of you unfamiliar with the state of Michigan, “peninsulam amoenam” is part of the motto of the state of Michigan: “Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice,” or “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.” If you’re wondering why you can’t figure out how this shirt is funny…well, it’s because it’s not funny. I made this shirt because I like the Mitten. If you like the Mitten, you should wear this shirt. If you don’t wear this shirt, Ohio wins. And when Ohio wins, the whole country loses.

“Introverts Unite“

I don’t know what the criteria are for being professionally certified as an introvert, but I like to consider myself one. (I’m happy to be an amateur introvert because I assume the certification process involves lots of unnecessary human interaction.) I made this shirt in an effort to identify other introverts without having to interact with them. If you’re an introvert, please wear this shirt. That way when we see each other in public we can exchange awkward nods of introverted brotherhood without having to TALK.

There is one possible downside to this shirt: it could encourage cruel extroverts to hit you over the head with their baseball bats of words. But all good things involve risk. This shirt is a good thing.

“If Flying is Wrong…“

I tweeted this silly joke a while back. Later it was suggested to me that the silly joke could make a good shirt. That suggestion seems to have been correct. So…hey, here it is. Also, you should check out the shirts from the gentleman who made the suggestion to me.

And again, go ahead and visit the store. I’ll add more shirts to the store as I have ideas.