Not long ago, as I was waiting for a local high school hockey game to begin, I was listening to a conversation among three hockey dads. Much of the conversation was centered around one dad’s actions following his son’s team’s previous game.

During the game, a referee called a penalty, apparently because of the language of one of the players. This dad took such exception to the call that he made a point to catch up to the referee after the game to tell him exactly what he thought of that call. Judging from his tone and attitude in recounting the incident, it is unlikely that his comments to the referee were calm and constructive.

Based on the dad’s narrative, he told the referee that he shouldn’t react so strongly to such language, that he should “grow some skin” (a phrase he used more than once as he recalled the encounter), that it wasn’t directed at him, that these are 16-, 17- and 18-year-old boys, and that they’re just going to use those kinds of words. The referee, probably irked by his confrontational attitude, told the dad that he could referee these games for $40 a game; the dad retorted, “For $40 a game, you could grow some skin.”

All the while, just across the room, a poster from USA Hockey was begging to be noticed: