A friend sent me a link to Time Magazine’s Person of the Year article. I already knew who the Person of the Year was, but I decided to click the link. Before I was able to view the article, I had to view an advertisement for the Chrysler Sebring.

Ordinarily, this would have been dull, but this particular advertisement caught my eye. In fact, I was compelled to click “replay” — twice! — but not because of any clever wit or creativity in the advertisement. No, I viewed it three times because of the message it contained:

“You might not be Time Person of the Year. But you can drive like you are.”

After viewing that advertisement, I arrived at the article, which, of course, names as its person of the year:

“You.”

Sports can produce some curious words and phrases: during today’s Denver Broncos/Arizona Cardinals game, CBS analyst Jim Nance noted that the Broncos were “out-yardaging” the Cardinals.

Afterwards, Nance’s high school English teacher proudly declared that Nance is clearly out-commentarying all other analysts on TV today.  Also, he applauded Nance’s linguistic innovation, saying he is “breaking down antiquated barriers between nouns and verbs.”

Some days, the news headlines are dreary and depressing; other days … well, other days, they’re just strange.  Today, the Detroit Free Press website featured these headlines:

World’s tallest man saves 2 dolphins by pulling plastic from stomachs

7-legged deer killed in Wisconsin

In searching for Milli Vanilli lyrics (don’t ask), I stumbled across a site called Crap From The Past, the web presence of a radio show featuring pop music from the past.  Though some of the site’s content is amusing, it was not the content that caught my eye; it was the site design.  It is outstanding.

If you remember DOS, you should click the link.

Just off the highway near the Michigan/Indiana border, there is a Big Lots.  This Big Lots location, like the many other locations, is probably a wonderful store; however, when I drove past the store last week, something wasn’t right.

As with any big box retail store, the front of their building features large individually-lit letters spelling out their store name.  It is important that the letters are individually lit because I drove past the store at night, and one letter happened to be dark.  That letter happened to be the L, which means the store was boldly proclaiming this advertisement to the area:

“BIG OTS”

One wonders what exactly they sell at such a store — or who they allow inside.

(I was unable to get a picture of the store, so you’ll have to take my word for it.  Also, if the humor is unclear, read it without the space.)

Like any respectable professional sports venue, Joe Louis Arena provides a nearly endless supply of alcohol to fans; typically, this results in a number of drunk fans by the end of the game. On Saturday, I attended a Red Wings game at JLA, and it was no exception.

After the game, I happened to be walking next to a drunk fan. He noticed my Michigan army helmet and my prominent limp, and after some conversation about the BCS standings — a hot topic of conversation after UCLA’s defeat of USC — he looked at me and exclaimed, “Hey! Are you that guy from Last Comic Standing?”

Not wanting to admit that I’d never even seen the show, I simply told him that I was not that guy. However, he kept insisting that I looked just like him. In fact, he even pointed me out to the woman behind him, and she, too, thought I was that guy.

Upon arriving home, I found the site for the show; it didn’t take long to find the comedian they had referenced. Thanks to our similarly prominent facial hair, the drunk Red Wings fans decided that I look just like Josh Blue.

Also, I quickly discovered two fascinating facts:

1. Josh Blue and I both have CP. That probably aided the resemblance. Apparently he and I walk somewhat alike, too.
2. I don’t look and walk a bit like just any comedian on Last Comic Standing. I actually look and walk like the winner of the show.

Having said all that, I won’t leave this up to your imagination. Here’s a side-by-side comparison.

Here’s something I didn’t know: Diet Coke has more caffeine than Classic Coke.  Actually, it has more caffeine than even Dr Pepper.  For some reason, this doesn’t make sense to me.

During the Detroit/San Francisco game, there was a wonderful moment:

Referee: “San Francisco will be charged with their third and final timeout.”
TV analyst: “Okay, that’s big because San Francisco has no timeouts.”