Freshmen: d. Monroe 21-20
JV: d. Monroe 39-6
Varsity 2009: 2-0 (0-0 SEC White)

Varsity 2008 vs. Monroe: n/a

The last decade has brought considerable change to the Southeastern Conference, one of the most recent of which was the addition of Monroe High School.  The SEC is split into Red and White divisions based on school size, and Monroe’s enrollment of more than 2,000 students — more than twice that of Chelsea — compelled its placement in the big-boned SEC Red; however, the strange concept of non-conference conference games still managed to put Monroe on Chelsea’s schedule in week 2.

In an effort to promote a positive attitude, the Chelsea training staff is enforcing a mandatory thumbs-up policy.

They just keep coming!  It’s like the plague of locusts, but without the plague or the locusts.

Nigel Schuh is in the Red Sea.  But not that Red Sea.

What made this game more appealing was its unmistakable new-series smell: the first ever SEC meeting between Chelsea and Monroe also happened to be the first ever meeting…uh…ever.  (Ever ever.  Ever?  Ever!)  The comfortable malevolence of well-worn rivalries is the lifeblood of sports, but the occasional first-ever game provides a refreshing dose of unfamiliarity to contrast with the established rhythm of games against old-school foes like Saline or Dexter.  Like an Ohio State student walking into a classroom, Chelsea found itself walking into an unknown environment in Monroe, and it was exciting.  (Of course, that Ohio State student doesn’t find his scholastic unfamiliarity exciting, but no analogy is perfect.)

Nick Hill just can’t shake the feeling somebody is after him.

Not even the glare of the setting sun can prevent Brad Bush from glaring in your direction.

Mason Borders may look like he’s trying to play an invisible violin, but he’s actually catching a touchdown pass.

Illegal…elbow to the face?

Though Monroe may have been entirely unfamiliar, Chelsea’s approach to its first drive was as familiar and comfortable as Linus’ blanket: Nick Hill carried the ball seven times in the drive’s eleven plays, the last of which was a two-yard touchdown run.  A few technical difficulties on the extra point held Chelsea’s lead at six, but 6 > 0, and nine out of ten mathematicians agree: being on the greater-than end of the expression is the best possible start in a new venue.  (The tenth mathematician must have been the trepidatious Ohio State student.)  After the defense multiplied Monroe by zero, the Bulldogs celebrated offensive diversity with a 32-yard touchdown catch by Mason Borders for a 13-0 lead.

I could continue to describe the first half, but there’s an easy way to simplify this narrative.  Here’s a handy summary of Monroe’s first-half drives:

1. Monroe obtained the ball, and
2. Monroe gave the ball back to Chelsea.

And here’s a handy summary of Chelsea’s first-half drives:

1. Chelsea obtained the ball, and
2. Chelsea scored.

Whee!

It was at this moment Conor Townsend began to regret stapling his opponent’s hands to his jersey.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have told him he’d have to go through me to get to the end zone.”

You may think I’m exaggerating or being lazy or exaggerating lazily, but with one exception, it’s true: each of Monroe’s six first-half drives ended with a punt or a turnover on downs, while all but one of Chelsea’s six first-half drives ended with touchdowns.  Hill scored his second of the game on a 45-yard run, Borders scored his second on a 5-yard pass, and Chris Ballow used his 71-yard reception to set himself up for a six-yard run to give Chelsea a 34-0 halftime lead.

Sometimes Joe Tripodi needs a snack.

“If I’m going down,” thought Andrew Nold, “I’m taking this guy with me.”

“Hey, could you get me a Dr. Pepper?  Thanks.”

With the scoreboard tilted firmly in Chelsea’s direction and Monroe futilely spinning its wheels like Cameron’s Ferrari, the second half loomed as a steady march toward a Bulldog victory; however, the Trojans, unwilling to go gentle into that good night, opened the third quarter with a rousing eight-minute, 16-play, 75-yard touchdown drive to narrow Chelsea’s lead from a commanding 34 points to a mostly assertive 27 points.  But the touchdown’s feel-good moment proved to be Monroe’s only incursion into happiness: the Chelsea defense allowed the Trojans only 26 yards through the rest of the second half.

Meanwhile, though the Chelsea offense didn’t maintain its blistering first half scoring pace (83 percent!), it wasn’t entirely done; after two drives ended in punts, Tyler Frank scored on a two-yard touchdown with just under three minutes to play.  Finally, after a Charlie Hess interception brought Monroe’s final drive to a close, Frank knelt to zero out the clock on a 41-7 Chelsea victory.

Odds & Ends

• The win over Monroe was Brad Bush’s 100th win as Chelsea’s head coach.  He reached the milestone in just over 12 seasons, which means he’s averaging over 8 wins a season; his record at Chelsea stands at 100-31, giving him a winning percentage of .763.
• Chelsea had no fumbles.  No, I don’t mean Chelsea didn’t lose any fumbles; I mean Chelsea had no fumbles at all.  Hooray for ball security!
• Thanks in large part to that eight-minute drive, Monroe actually had the edge in possession time (25:36 to 22:24).  Taking two-thirds of an entire quarter to score certainly helps boost possession time!  Unfortunately, taking two-thirds of an entire quarter to score in the face of a 34-point deficit doesn’t boost chances of victory.
• Since Monroe is in the SEC Red, Chelsea may not face the Trojans again for a while; the other Red teams have to cycle through Chelsea’s non-conference conference schedule, too.
• Check out the full gallery of game photos.

Next Week

Chelsea faces the [insert mascot here] of Ypsilanti; the game is in Ypsilanti at 7PM.  (Which…uh…means it already happened.  But just pretend this post happened before the Ypsi game, okay?)

Freshmen: defeated Huron 34-18
JV: defeated Huron 19-6
Varsity: 1-0 (0-0 SEC White)

Varsity 2008: defeated Huron 35-27

After a one-year absence from the somewhat awkwardly-named season-opening Big Day Prep Showdown — I would have called it the Weekend of Awesome — Chelsea returned to hawk its winning wares at Eastern Michigan University’s Rynearson Stadium.  (What’s that?  No, Chelsea wasn’t scheduled to play EMU.  But now that you mention it…does anybody have Ron English’s phone number?)  Chelsea entered the game with a 2-1 record in the BDPS; on the other hand, Huron entered the game with a record of preventing Chelsea from playing in the BDPS in 2008.  But that was okay, because Chelsea also entered the game with a five-game winning streak against Huron dating to 1998, way back when Aerosmith didn’t want to miss a thing.

“I don’t know…this iPod seems a little bulky.”

He are serious Nick.  This is serious game.

As in 2008, the Chelsea/Huron pairing brought together two much-ballyhooed athletes to thrill fans and dismay defensive coordinators: Chelsea’s Nick Hill and Huron’s Jeremy Jackson.  The two have been conference rivals through high school, and that won’t change when they start college; Hill will play for Michigan State, and Jackson will play for Michigan.  Of course, that’s also where it gets confusing: Jackson wears Huron’s green, while Hill wears Chelsea’s blue.  Does that seem backwards?  Yes, it does.  But much to the delight of football fans everywhere — or at least those at Rynearson — they decided to play the game anyway.

Even opponents can’t help but admire Nick Hill’s muscles.

“Look!  It’s Ed Hochuli!”

Chelsea came into the game with high expectations for the season, but apparently somebody forgot to have high expectations for the beginning of the game: a simple miscalculation of the kickoff put the Bulldogs at their own one yard line to start their first drive.  It didn’t get any better when, on third down, the Huron pass rush caught up to Chelsea quarterback Brian Paulsen in his own end zone; not even two minutes into the game, Huron had a 2-0 lead that would be more at home at a baseball game.  Oh, and guess what?  Shortly after the safety, the River Rats quickly scored another touchdown to push their lead to 9-0 before Chelsea could even gain a first down.

Ouch…

Ouch…

And even more ouch.

The world grew a little brighter when the Chelsea offense put together a promising drive, but it fell short of points, and Huron responded with another quick touchdown.  With thirty seconds left in the first quarter, the River Rats had a 15-0 lead, and the Bulldogs had an incalculable lead in anxiety.  Unfortunately, anxiety doesn’t win football games, so head coach Brad Bush had to find a way to get his Bulldogs back into the game after a first quarter one analyst described as “uglier than a Pontiac Aztek.”  (This analyst may or may not be a figment of my imagination.)

Gravity holds no power over Dakota Cooley.

“Please, please, please let the running back through!”

Did the Bulldogs play Huron…or Geraldo?

Why do scrambling quarterbacks always look so suspicious of defensive linemen?

I didn’t eavesdrop on the conversation between the first and second quarters, so I don’t know what the coaches said, but it must have been good: Chelsea marched down the field and scored a touchdown (Paulsen).  The Bulldogs were on the board!  Hooray for points!  Chelsea fans celebrated the positive turn of events…for all of 13 seconds, which is how long it took the River Rats to run back the kickoff for a touchdown.  Huron fans celebrated their positive turn of events…for all of 11 seconds, which is how long it took Zak Giller to run the kickoff back to the Huron 11 yard line.  A touchdown (Hill) followed in short order — making for 20 points scored in less than two minutes — and Huron’s lead was cut to 21-14.  And Chelsea’s revival wasn’t done: after a very welcome stop by the Chelsea defense, Hill finished off another drive with another touchdown with his second touchdown of the day, and the extra point evened the score at 21.

Dakota Cooley is divisible by Spencer Mykala.

Zak Giller will not share with you.

“I told you: the football field is over there!”

Thanks to their rousing comeback in the second quarter, the Bulldogs were in a good mood after halftime.  But the Menace of the Odd-Numbered Quarters was not yet satisfied: Huron’s first drive of the second half ended with a 54-yard touchdown run that yet again left Chelsea playing catch-up.  Of course, with that pesky menace making life difficult, Chelsea didn’t play catch-up very well, so the Bulldogs managed to score exactly zero points in the third quarter.  But wait!  There’s good news, too!  Huron failed to score again, so the deficit was still at eight when the fourth quarter began.

When push comes to shove, Scott Devol comes to destroy.

Chelsea Bulldogs: always ready with a hug.

Since the fourth quarter is not an odd-numbered quarter, the Menace of the Odd-Numbered Quarters held no sway within its borders.  The Bulldogs didn’t wait long to take advantage of the menace’s absence: shortly after a 65-yard Chris Ballow run, Hill tallied his third touchdown of the game.  And finally, with under five minutes to play, Hill followed a Giller interception with his fourth touchdown to give the Bulldogs their first lead of the game.  A missed extra point left some room for anxiety, but Huron’s last drive ended in futility, and Chelsea celebrated its season-opening 35-29 victory over the River Rats.

Odds & Ends

• Chelsea’s 2-1 BDPS record featured a split with Novi and a victory over Ypsilanti.  Obviously, now the record is 3-1, and it features a victory over Huron.
• How did the much-ballyhooed athletes perform?  Hill finished with 147 yards and four touchdowns on 36 carries; Jackson finished with 88 yards on 5 receptions.
• Since the Bulldogs seem to prefer even-numbered quarters, it might be a good idea to abolish all odd-numbered quarters.  Of course, to maintain the original length of the game, that means the team will play second, fourth, sixth and eighth quarters instead of first, second, third and fourth.  Is that a good idea?  No, that’s a great idea.
• Be sure to check out the full gallery of game photos.

Next Week
Chelsea faces the Trojans of Monroe; the game is in Monroe on Friday at 7PM.

Thursday: Football
Chelsea brought the football preseason to an end with its annual preseason scrimmage at Jerry Niehaus Field.  Like last year, it was a five-team scrimmage: Haslett, Grand Ledge, Monroe Jefferson and Pinckney joined the host Bulldogs to work out a few kinks before the start of the season.

Nick Hall was ready for the season, but apparently his collarbone wasn’t.

Chelsea’s new strategy: confuse the opponent with two quarterbacks and two footballs.

After three outstanding yard-gaining touchdown-making years, Chelsea’s illustrious running back Nick Hill faces high expectations for his senior season.  Hill has committed to play football at Michigan State.

He’s running…

…And he’s stopping.

Hill saw limited action, but he did manage to score a couple touchdowns, including one on this play.

When A.T. wants you to hear something, you’ll hear it.

(Full gallery.)

Thursday: Football
Thursday marked the first day of full-contact practice, which means Thursday was the first day football practice sounded like football.  Wham!  Crash!  Thwack!  Whump!  Or something like that.

Continue reading →

The sports-barren summer seems nigh eternal, but the end never fails to arrive.  And, of course, the end brings with it the reawakening of that establishment of esoteric popularity: This Week in Chelsea Sports Photography.

Wednesday: WOOOOO FOOTBALL!
Yes, that’s right: football is back!  The first game is still two weeks away, but there’s plenty of work that has to happen before that first game, and all that work starts early in August.

Don’t make the A.T. angry.  You won’t like him when he’s angry.

(Full gallery.)