Freshmen: d. Monroe 21-20
JV: d. Monroe 39-6
Varsity 2009: 2-0 (0-0 SEC White)
Varsity 2008 vs. Monroe: n/a
The last decade has brought considerable change to the Southeastern Conference, one of the most recent of which was the addition of Monroe High School. The SEC is split into Red and White divisions based on school size, and Monroe’s enrollment of more than 2,000 students — more than twice that of Chelsea — compelled its placement in the big-boned SEC Red; however, the strange concept of non-conference conference games still managed to put Monroe on Chelsea’s schedule in week 2.
In an effort to promote a positive attitude, the Chelsea training staff is enforcing a mandatory thumbs-up policy.
They just keep coming! It’s like the plague of locusts, but without the plague or the locusts.
Nigel Schuh is in the Red Sea. But not that Red Sea.
What made this game more appealing was its unmistakable new-series smell: the first ever SEC meeting between Chelsea and Monroe also happened to be the first ever meeting…uh…ever. (Ever ever. Ever? Ever!) The comfortable malevolence of well-worn rivalries is the lifeblood of sports, but the occasional first-ever game provides a refreshing dose of unfamiliarity to contrast with the established rhythm of games against old-school foes like Saline or Dexter. Like an Ohio State student walking into a classroom, Chelsea found itself walking into an unknown environment in Monroe, and it was exciting. (Of course, that Ohio State student doesn’t find his scholastic unfamiliarity exciting, but no analogy is perfect.)
Nick Hill just can’t shake the feeling somebody is after him.
Not even the glare of the setting sun can prevent Brad Bush from glaring in your direction.
Mason Borders may look like he’s trying to play an invisible violin, but he’s actually catching a touchdown pass.
Illegal…elbow to the face?
Though Monroe may have been entirely unfamiliar, Chelsea’s approach to its first drive was as familiar and comfortable as Linus’ blanket: Nick Hill carried the ball seven times in the drive’s eleven plays, the last of which was a two-yard touchdown run. A few technical difficulties on the extra point held Chelsea’s lead at six, but 6 > 0, and nine out of ten mathematicians agree: being on the greater-than end of the expression is the best possible start in a new venue. (The tenth mathematician must have been the trepidatious Ohio State student.) After the defense multiplied Monroe by zero, the Bulldogs celebrated offensive diversity with a 32-yard touchdown catch by Mason Borders for a 13-0 lead.
I could continue to describe the first half, but there’s an easy way to simplify this narrative. Here’s a handy summary of Monroe’s first-half drives:
- Monroe obtained the ball, and
- Monroe gave the ball back to Chelsea.
And here’s a handy summary of Chelsea’s first-half drives:
- Chelsea obtained the ball, and
- Chelsea scored.
Whee!
It was at this moment Conor Townsend began to regret stapling his opponent’s hands to his jersey.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told him he’d have to go through me to get to the end zone.”
You may think I’m exaggerating or being lazy or exaggerating lazily, but with one exception, it’s true: each of Monroe’s six first-half drives ended with a punt or a turnover on downs, while all but one of Chelsea’s six first-half drives ended with touchdowns. Hill scored his second of the game on a 45-yard run, Borders scored his second on a 5-yard pass, and Chris Ballow used his 71-yard reception to set himself up for a six-yard run to give Chelsea a 34-0 halftime lead.
Sometimes Joe Tripodi needs a snack.
“If I’m going down,” thought Andrew Nold, “I’m taking this guy with me.”
“Hey, could you get me a Dr. Pepper? Thanks.”
With the scoreboard tilted firmly in Chelsea’s direction and Monroe futilely spinning its wheels like Cameron’s Ferrari, the second half loomed as a steady march toward a Bulldog victory; however, the Trojans, unwilling to go gentle into that good night, opened the third quarter with a rousing eight-minute, 16-play, 75-yard touchdown drive to narrow Chelsea’s lead from a commanding 34 points to a mostly assertive 27 points. But the touchdown’s feel-good moment proved to be Monroe’s only incursion into happiness: the Chelsea defense allowed the Trojans only 26 yards through the rest of the second half.
Meanwhile, though the Chelsea offense didn’t maintain its blistering first half scoring pace (83 percent!), it wasn’t entirely done; after two drives ended in punts, Tyler Frank scored on a two-yard touchdown with just under three minutes to play. Finally, after a Charlie Hess interception brought Monroe’s final drive to a close, Frank knelt to zero out the clock on a 41-7 Chelsea victory.
Odds & Ends
- The win over Monroe was Brad Bush’s 100th win as Chelsea’s head coach. He reached the milestone in just over 12 seasons, which means he’s averaging over 8 wins a season; his record at Chelsea stands at 100-31, giving him a winning percentage of .763.
- Chelsea had no fumbles. No, I don’t mean Chelsea didn’t lose any fumbles; I mean Chelsea had no fumbles at all. Hooray for ball security!
- Thanks in large part to that eight-minute drive, Monroe actually had the edge in possession time (25:36 to 22:24). Taking two-thirds of an entire quarter to score certainly helps boost possession time! Unfortunately, taking two-thirds of an entire quarter to score in the face of a 34-point deficit doesn’t boost chances of victory.
- Since Monroe is in the SEC Red, Chelsea may not face the Trojans again for a while; the other Red teams have to cycle through Chelsea’s non-conference conference schedule, too.
- Check out the full gallery of game photos.
Next Week
Chelsea faces the [insert mascot here] of Ypsilanti; the game is in Ypsilanti at 7PM. (Which…uh…means it already happened. But just pretend this post happened before the Ypsi game, okay?)