Freshmen: d. 20-35 by Novi
JV:  d. 40-47 by Novi

Varsity 2011 record: 1-0 (0-0 SEC White)

The Enemy:
Opponent: Novi
Colors: Green and white
Color Scheme Attractiveness Rating (0-10, 10 being highly attractive): 0 — as a Michigan fan I’m morally obligated to ridicule this color scheme.
Mascot: Wildcats
Interesting Mascot Rating (0-10, 10 being highly interesting): 0 — you take the wildcat as a mascot to blend into the crowd, not to be interesting.
Last Year’s Record: 5-4
Previous Result vs. Chelsea: 14-28 loss (2006)
Last 10 years vs. Chelsea: 2-3

The Game:
First quarter:
Chelsea kicked off to Novi to start the game, but that’s where the generosity ended: Novi went three and out and attempted a punt. Attempted? Yes, attempted: Truman Hadley changed it from a punt to an unconditional surrender by blocking the punt. Unfortunately, Chelsea managed only a field goal. A few minutes later a short Chelsea punt set up Novi for a one-play, 30-yard touchdown drive. This gave Novi only a 6-3 lead thanks to a postmodern extra point that defied the social construct of the uprights. The rest of the quarter was a tug of war that nobody won.

Second quarter:
The quarter break rudely interrupted a promising Chelsea drive. The second quarter began with four consecutive carries by Berkley Edwards, the last of which was a 13-yard touchdown run. Chelsea kicker Zack Rabbitt embraced the objective truth of the uprights to give Chelsea a 10-6 lead. Dominic Davis ended another bout of tug of war with an interception to set Chelsea up inside the Novi 30. Faced with a fourth and goal from the one, Berkley Edwards again took the ball into the end zone, and Chelsea carried a 17-6 lead into halftime.

Halftime!

Om nom nom nom nom.

Twirler? Tightrope walker? You make the call.

Third quarter:
Chelsea’s first drive of the second half stalled, but that’s okay: Max Giller grabbed an interception and gave Chelsea the ball at the Novi 15. Can you guess who scored a touchdown on the next play? No, not Billy Sims, though that would have been exciting. Instead, Berkley Edwards carried the ball 15 yards for his third touchdown of the evening. The stout Chelsea defense forced another punt after a three and out, but a muff on the receiving end gave Novi another chance…to punt again after another three and out. More tug of war filled out the rest of the quarter.

Fourth quarter:
With Chelsea in Lloyd Carr’s Patented Protect The Lead mode, much of the fourth quarter was filled with tug of war. But with four minutes to play, Novi finally managed to return Chelsea’s opening-drive favor by blocking a punt. One minute later Novi finally found the end zone again. The two-point attempt failed, but Chelsea’s lead was down to 12. Chelsea fans grew a bit nervous when Novi recovered the ensuing onside kick, but the Bulldog defense shut down the drive in short order and handed the ball back to the offense with 2:10 to play. Andy Nelson’s 11-yard run gave Chelsea all the downs it needed to seal its season-opening 24-12 victory.

The Stats:
•Chelsea gained a total of 202 yards, 184 of which were on the ground.
•Berkley Edwards gained 119 yards and three touchdowns on 25 carries.
•The Chelsea defense held Novi to exactly zero third- and fourth-down conversions. Novi was 0-11 on third-downs and 0-3 on fourth downs.

The Images:

Max was concerned the lines on the field might not be straight. After close examination, he decided they were indeed sufficiently straight.

Chad’s number one! Chad’s number one!

On Novi’s first drive, Max Giller broke up a pass with a solid and perfectly-timed hit on the receiver. Here’s how it looked:

Hey, Truman: the old Bell slogan was “Reach out and touch someone,” not “Reach out and touch some punt.”

Michael and Sean sang a lovely duet.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh! The mosquitoes are atta…oh, wait. Those are just rubber pellets from the turf.

Apparently Novi plays helmet-optional football.

Together, Jack and Michael are a good time for lunch.

It seems Dominic has acquired the skill of levitation, too!

Dominic: this season’s most fashionable belt.

No, Dominic. That’s not what they mean by “hip hop”.

Jarred is good at avoiding the sackarazzi.

Novi must have taken a coffee break.

The Berkley Express: now arriving at the end zone.

Say hello to Cody’s not-so-little friend.

Happiness is an opening-week victory.

Where there is victory, there are cheerleaders.

Cody must have been watching an episode of the Cosby Show.

All the cool kids are having their pictures taken with Berkley.

Watch out, Coach Bush: I think Sean wants that trophy.

So…many…Bulldogs…

Next week:
Chelsea takes on the Trojans of East Lansing. The game is in Chelsea at 7pm on Friday.