JV: d. Adrian 16-13; 3-1 (2-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Adrian 15-20; 1-2-1 (0-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity 2007 record: 4-0 (3-0 SEC)

Michael Cooper gazes longingly into the distance and thinks of touchdowns.

When I work during the national anthem, I’m looking for shots like this one.

Your mom plays football for Chelsea.

Many schools choose mascots that have some sort of actively fierce quality — bulldogs are known for tenacity and fearlessness, pirates are known for their ruthlessness (but not for their resemblance to Johnny Depp), hornets are known for being pests — but Adrian football, like a certain poisonous nut school south of here, labors under the banner of an inanimate mascot. So, instead of the Adrian Fierce Animals, Ill-Tempered People or Unpleasant Insects, the football team takes the field each Friday as the Adrian Maples. And I don’t know about you, but that makes me think of syrup. And Canada. Oh, Canada.

Despite that syrupy sweet mascot with strong roots and aesthetically pleasing leaves, Adrian football has been a solidly consistent program; it has posted eight consecutive winning seasons with an average of over 7 wins each year, and after a 3-0 start in 2007, another winning season appears within reach. And since 2000, Adrian has posted a respectable 3-4 record against Chelsea (not including this year), whereas Dexter and Lincoln haven’t beaten Chelsea since 1995 and 1997 respectively, and Bedford has never beaten Chelsea. (Dexter nearly ended that streak last year.)

Over the years, I have become accustomed to seeing Adrian offenses that have been an effective hybrid between Tecumseh’s current offense and more typical offenses that do not keep the forward pass in a glass case that says “EMERGENCY USE ONLY”; there always seemed to be some big bruising running back ready to run straight into the line and gain five yards without really trying and ten yards with some effort, but there was more than enough of a passing game to keep the defensive secondary awake. If transferred to another hasty Photoshop diagram, my memories of the typical Adrian offense in years past would look something like this:

Last year, Adrian’s offense got all pass-happy due to the presence of quarterback Steve Threet, who was good enough to catch the attention of Georgia Tech. But despite high expectations brought on by the arm of Threet, Adrian managed only a 6-4 record, which included a first-round playoff loss. This year, the offense did not return to its Incredible Hulkingback self, but instead adapted to its new starting quarterback, who, unlike Threet and his Navarre-like lead feet, is so capable of making plays with his feet that he has already run for 200 yards against Michigan. That quarterback, Brent Ohrman, directed Adrian to a 3-0 start this season, making Friday’s game a clash of unbeatens. (As well as a clash of persistent dogs and really good shade trees highly valued for pancake-based applications.)

The pregame didn’t bode well for Adrian; as the teams were warming up, the announcer welcomed “the Chelsea Dreadnaughts.” The Dreadnaughts moniker does not belong to Chelsea; instead, it belongs to Dexter, one of Chelsea’s biggest sports rivals. That mix-up is essentially the local high school sports equivalent of welcoming the Michigan Buckeyes or the Notre Dame Trojans. The announcer quickly corrected himself, but the damage was done, and the Chelsea crowd was not particularly happy.

Jeff Adams is not being tackled; he is levitating. Gravity cannot stop him.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me watch football. And that makes me happy.

And he was all like yeah, I’m going to run downfield. And Taylor Hopkins was all like um, no.

The first quarter went a long way towards helping Chelsea forget that incident. The Adrian offense struggled to gain meaningful yardage, and after 3-yard and 53-yard Nick Hill touchdown runs, Chelsea had a 14-0 lead. However, Chelsea also squandered opportunities; the ineffectiveness of Adrian’s offense gave Chelsea consistently good field position that, ideally, would have resulted in more than 14 points. The night prior, Chelsea’s JV had squandered good opportunities and ended up with a 16-13 victory on a last-second field goal; as I watched the varsity fail to capitalize on field position and momentum, I hoped the game wouldn’t come down to the last second. But Adrian could manage nothing more than a field goal in the first half, and Chelsea held an encouraging 14-3 halftime lead.

The second half had an even more encouraging start; the Chelsea offense marched down the field, and Hill dragged a would-be tackler into the end zone to score his third touchdown of the night on a 5-yard run. That touchdown gave Chelsea a somewhat commanding 21-3 lead, and everyone in the blue and gold was feeling good. But it was still only the third quarter, and Adrian was not yet ready to concede the game. Not long after that touchdown, the Chelsea offense stalled deep in its own territory, and Jeff Adams had to punt from his own end zone; the Adrian defense managed to block the punt and recover it in the end zone for a touchdown, cutting Chelsea’s lead to 21-10 and making the Chelsea faithful just a little bit nervous.

Dean Roberts looks hungry.

Nick Hill will break your tackle. Just like he will break you.

First down? The Chelsea offense needs no first down.

Donny Riedel cuts like a knife through the buttery goodness of your defense.

To make the Chelsea faithful even more nervous, the Chelsea offense began to sputter after the early third-quarter touchdown drive. Consistent yardage and first downs became scarce, resulting in short drives that didn’t give the defense much time to breathe; considering the fancy feet of Ohrman, the fatigue of the defense was a major concern. And Ohrman seemed to find a rhythm in the second half, moving around the field and making a few too many plays. But time and time again, the defense stood tall and made stops and forced turnovers, and Adrian was unable to score a single offensive point in the second half; thanks in large part to those second-half defensive stands, and because Tecumseh upset Saline that same evening, Chelsea walked off the field as the only unbeaten team in the SEC.

James Connelly is Batman.

Leftovers:

• Though Ohrman was good at leaving Chelsea’s defense frustrated, Nick Hill actually outrushed Adrian as a whole. Hill accumulated 137 yards; Adrian accumulated 120.

• Chelsea’s rushing game had a productive day (226 yards), but the passing game never got going (23 yards). Adrian threw for 146 yards, but couldn’t finish drives thanks to the Chelsea defense; despite several possessions in Chelsea territory in the fourth quarter, the offense ended up contributing only three points, and those came in the first half.

• Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent: Adrian gained 266 yards, while Chelsea gained 249. Adrian also had five more first downs (18 to 13).

• Heard during Thursday’s freshmen game: after one penalty, an irked parent (who happened to be from Adrian) shouted, “Make it fair for the kids!” Ah, the tragedy of a pass interference call. Save the children. Or read my thoughts from last year and stop yelling at the refs; your holding your tongue (or at the very least lowering your voice) and setting a decent example for your kids is more important than a penalty that may or may not be a debatable call.

• Heard after Friday’s game: as I was walking out of the stadium, I passed two paramedics who were talking to another man. As I walked by, one of the paramedics was telling the man, “We don’t clean up after dead bodies.” I’m not sure I want any context for that one.

• Adrian’s football stadium has been around for quite a while, and in many ways it is one of my favorite local stadiums. But I have one major gripe with it. The field has no track around it, which is something I always like to see; it brings the fans closer and gives the stadium a better atmosphere. But the seating areas were placed just a few feet too close to the field, making the sidelines a bit cramped and making the knee-high wall a real danger to players when they are forced out of bounds. On one occasion when Adams was chased out of bounds, he was unable to stop before he hit the wall; he happened to hit a crack in the wall, and while he (fortunately) escaped serious injury, he did end up with a cut on his lower leg. I realize the school district can’t make the sidelines any larger without a severely costly and impractical renovation, but I do have one suggestion: bring in padding for the concrete walls.

• Full game gallery. Prints available for purchase through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Railsplitters of Lincoln; the game is at Lincoln on Friday at 7:00 PM.