JV: d. Lincoln 55-8; 4-1 (3-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Lincoln 47-14; 2-2-1 (1-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 5-0 (4-0 SEC)

Ground control to Major Bush; take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

Scott Naab isn’t easily distracted; he’s made from concentrate.

When it comes to football, despite having an excellent mascot — an ax-wielding U.S. president! — Lincoln has had more struggles than success. The history of Railsplitter football is not overflowing with victories, but the last decade in particular offers a stark picture of a program mired in a very deep depression. From 1997 through 2006, the statistics show:

• Overall record: 19-76 (a winning percentage of .200)
• Two winning seasons (1997, 1998)
• Eight seasons of 2 wins or fewer

The numbers are fully representative of the reality: Lincoln football is a mess. Over the last three and a half seasons (including this year’s game against Chelsea), Lincoln has gone a miserable 1-31, with the lone victory coming in 2003 against a Dexter team that also finished 1-8. And many of those losses haven’t even been competitive; Lincoln’s average margin of defeat in that time period is 34 points.

This litany of futility is in no way intended as an insult to Lincoln football; I do not take joy in seeing high school football programs mired in such a sad state. But with Lincoln in the SEC, it’s something we in Chelsea can’t really forget; Chelsea has defeated Lincoln by an average of 33 points since 1999 (including this year’s game), and as one of the previous statistics showed, Chelsea isn’t alone in achieving lopsided defeats of Lincoln. Something is severely broken in the football program, and for the sake of the athletes at Lincoln, the losing culture of Lincoln football needs to be changed. That is neither an easy nor a short process, but it is possible; I hope to see another competitive Railsplitter football team before another decade passes. It would be good for everyone.

I’ll leave the opinionated analysis of the successes and failures in the Lincoln athletic department for someone more credibly able to detail them; regardless of the state of Lincoln football, there was a game Friday.

Dean Roberts had a snack, but he’s still hungry.

On Friday, I was concerned that Chelsea players and fans may have arrived at the facility on Willis Road in a dangerous mindset. The previous week’s game against Adrian was a hard-fought victory, the following week’s game will bring Saline to Jerry Niehaus Field, and the last time Lincoln was competitive with Chelsea was back when the current seniors were nine years old; between the strong teams bookending the Lincoln game and the cupcakerous tendencies of the Railsplitters, this game would have been easy to overlook. I knew it would take a lot of overlooking for Chelsea to lose this game, and I knew the coaches had done everything they could to keep the players’ minds on Lincoln, but … well, I was at the stadium for Michigan’s loss to Appalachian State, so I think I am justified in being mildly paranoid. Happy thoughts … Notre Dame … Penn State … Mike Hart … okay, back to Chelsea.

Chris Schmelz distracts a defender with Zoolander‘s Blue Steel look.

If Sam Birgy closes his eyes, you can’t see Nick Hill (32) and Jeff Adams!

Excuse me, but Tyler Ball would like to discuss something with your quarterback.

Is this official a Texas Longhorns fan, or does he just want to rock on?

The opening kickoff certainly helped allay my fears of a fatally distracted team; Chris Schmelz took the opening kickoff and ran, Forrest, ran for 82 yards to open up a quick 7-0 lead. The rest of the first half featured four more Chelsea touchdowns, including a highlight-reel one-handed touchdown catch by Schmelz, a thoroughly enjoyable 64-yard touchdown pass from Michael Lenneman — who, by the way, isn’t the quarterback — to Donny Riedel, and an outstanding 71-yard touchdown run (that was described to me by a friend as something out of a video game) by quarterback Jeff Adams; at halftime, Chelsea held a comfortable 34-7 lead, and all was well in Bulldogland. Well, it was an away game, so I suppose all was well in Portable Bulldogland.

Randy Cox is not afraid to show affection on the football field.

With no defenders in sight, Jeff Adams is forced to stiff-arm his own teammate.

In the second half, Chelsea coach Brad Bush brought in substitutes, and Chelsea fans started to get a good look at Lincoln’s developing young Studly Stud McStuderson, sophomore quarterback Andrew Dillon. He had shown flashes of ability both to throw good passes and to get out of trouble with his feet in the first half, but the Chelsea defense was strong enough — and, occasionally, his receivers were droppy enough — to limit the Lincoln offense to one scoring drive late in the first half; in the second half, Dillon began to showcase his immense potential by leading the Railsplitters to three touchdowns in the second half. He had help from speedy running back Travis Davidson, but Dillon himself displayed ability that could make him a good foundation for a competitive football team. If the Lincoln staff develops a team around him, he could lead them to a few more wins over the next two years.

With one mighty gesture, Grant Fanning can change entire defenses.

Steven O’Keefe is coming for you. Especially if your name is End Zone.

When Dillon wasn’t on the field being all capable and stuff, the Chelsea offense was in the hands of junior quarterback Randy Cox; he made sure Dillon’s efforts didn’t morph into heroics by leading Chelsea to two more touchdowns, one a pass to Jason Kolokithas and the other a 1-yard keeper. Those touchdowns were more than enough to seal another Chelsea victory, keeping the team undefeated and putting it one win away from ensuring a ninth consecutive playoff appearance.

No, Riley Feeney is not interested in any peace treaty, thank you very much.

Leftovers:

• Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent. This time, the margin was a bit larger; Lincoln gained 477 yards, while Chelsea gained 422. But yet again, Chelsea won.

• During the game, I talked to Wayne Welton, Chelsea’s baseball coach; he informed me that Dillon pitched a 1-0 shutout of Chelsea last spring. Seriously, he’s good.

• As you can see in the above pictures, Lincoln’s football uniforms bear a strong resemblance to the Detroit Lions’ throwback uniforms. I am a fan of the Lions’ throwbacks, so that’s fine by me.

• Full game gallery. Prints available through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Hornets of Saline; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM.