Freshmen: d. Saline 39-28
JV: d. by Saline 9-25

Varsity 2008 record: 2-1 (1-1 SEC)

The Chelsea/Saline rivalry is a long and storied rivalry, full of very storied rivalicious things like wins, losses and ties; in fact, the rivalry dates back nearly 80 years to 1930 — when both schools’ colors were Light Gray and Really Dark Gray, because the world was still in black and white — and through 2007, the rivalry was full of 41 Chelsea victories, 40 Saline victories and 5 ties.  (If you examine the earlier years of the rivalry you may find considerably more ties, but instead of the type on the scoreboard, they would be the type worn around the neck.  Of course, times have changed dramatically; modern overtime rules have rendered the former obsolete, while modern standards of dress have rendered the latter formal.  Only Penn State coach Joe Paterno, whose mid-life crisis caused the Great Depression, bothers to wear a tie on the sideline anymore.)  Of all Chelsea’s long-term conference series, this is by far the most competitive; this means that while Dexter is a main rival across a number of sports, Saline is Chelsea’s primary rival in football.

“Does this helmet make my head look unusually tall?”

In a bizarre coincidence, everyone on the team lost a contact at the same time.

Yes, yellow and blue make green, but that doesn’t make it a school color.

The most notable aspect of this particular installment of the series concerned the Hornets: two games into the season, Saline — typically one of the area’s stronger teams — was a shocking 0-2, having lost to the Pioneering Pioneers of Pioneer and Bedford.  However, the sensible among us knew that, as is the case with most rivalries, Saline’s moribund start to the season didn’t guarantee a Chelsea victory; this meant the sensible among us were properly concerned about the potential of a very angry Saline football team taking the field and looking very un-0-2like.

When the game started, the sensible among us wondered if perhaps we had been a bit too sensible: Chelsea took possession and promptly held the ball for over five minutes while it marched into Saline territory and made funny faces at the Saline defense.  (What, you don’t believe me?  Well, have you seen the face of a football player being tackled?  Believe me, it’s funny.)  But then somebody went beyond making funny faces and attracted a flag for holding, and the drive stalled at the Saline 30 with no scoreboard damage done.  That was no big deal, though, because Saline had the audacity to gain a whole four yards on its first drive, and after a 15-yard punt, Chelsea got the ball back with good field position and a good chance to crunch some numbers.

Say hello to Nick Hill’s large friends, Tim Rosentreter and Nick Hall.

“I thought you said it was going to rain!  Where’s the rain?”

If you want Michael Roberts’ jersey as a souvenir, please ask first.

The second drive was somewhat less successful than the first, as it stalled after only one first down; Chelsea turned the ball over on downs within a few yards of where its first drive had stalled, and Saline was back in business.  But Saline, too, managed only one first down before its offense stalled, and it sent out the punting unit again; this time the punt was a bit more successful, and Chelsea took over with exceedingly average field position — its own 22 — and a fever whose only prescription was not more cowbell, but instead was a score of some sort.  But three plays later, Chelsea put the ball on the ground, and there was much rejoicing in Saline as the Hornets recovered the fumble inside the Chelsea 30.  And three plays later…

…The quarter ended.  But the next play was a Saline touchdown, and Chelsea found itself staring at a 7-0 deficit.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Chelsea — apparently having developed a severe case of football dropsy — fumbled the ensuing kickoff, and Saline took full advantage by scoring a touchdown four plays later.  All of a sudden, Saline had a 14-point lead, and Chelsea had absolutely no idea why everything seemed to be going wrong.  The next drive didn’t help much, as two sacks helped bring out the punting unit in short order; Saline took possession in Chelsea territory and marched inside the 15 before being forced to settle for a field goal.

we’re on ur artifishul turf, takklin ur runnin back.

Must … destroy … quarterback …

Why yes, Nick Hill is a great American.  Thanks for noticing.

It seemed the Chelsea offense was stirred by the defense’s work in preventing a touchdown, because it shook off the ineffectiveness of its previous three possessions to put together a nearly 80-yard drive — key to which were two fourth-down conversions, one a Randy Cox pass to Nick Hill and the other a Cox scramble — to put its first points on the board with a touchdown pass to Brett Everding.  That cut the deficit to a more manageable 10, and it seemed as though Chelsea was finally getting itself into the game.  But the world did have one more bit of unpleasantness to heap upon the Bulldogs before the first half ran out: Saline still had nearly a minute and a half to work with, and it used that time — and a 15-yard face mask penalty — to kick one more field goal to extend its lead to 13 as the second quarter expired.

Tag!  You’re it!  And you’re down, too.

Wait … they have a 55 yard line in Saline?  Is this Canada or something?

Randy Cox would like to take this opportunity to avoid your tackle.

Saline received the ball to start the second half, and in an encouraging sign for Chelsea, the Bulldog defense didn’t let the Hornets cross midfield.  In an even more encouraging sign for Chelsea, the Bulldog offense took possession and promptly jaunted into Saline territory; however, the drive stalled on fourth down inside the Saline 30.  The Hornets celebrated their defensive stand by moving down the field and scoring a touchdown to extend their lead to 20, and most of that early encouragement went out the window.  (Well, since it was an outdoor game, I suppose it would make more sense to say the encouragement went in the window.  I hope the concessions crew enjoyed it.)

Chelsea’s next drive went a whole lot of nowhere, and the hopes for a comeback were beginning to dim as the third quarter wound down.  The dimming paused momentarily when Saline punted the ball right back to Chelsea, but a penalty and a sack put the brakes on the Bulldog offense, and Saline rocked my figures of speech with a 65-yard touchdown drive to take a daunting 34-7 lead with under 10 minutes to play.

I am a football official, and I approve of Brett Everding’s touchdown.

Bareis & Crabtree may sound like a law firm, but it’s not.

Your tackle has failed.  Please enjoy the inevitable effects of gravity.

Chelsea did have another bright spot yet to come, and it occurred on the kickoff following Saline’s last touchdown: Michael Lenneman took the kickoff 90 yards — breaking several tackles along the way — for a touchdown.  (There was a flag on the play, but it was a 15-yard face mask penalty on Saline.)  Chelsea’s onside kick didn’t work (though it definitely wasn’t an onside nudge), but Saline helpfully went three and out, and Chelsea had a shot to bring Saline’s lead back within shouting distance.  As it had on several previous drives, the offense moved the ball well into Saline territory; in fact, it even got the ball inside the 10 yard line.  But two sacks and another negative play brought the drive to a close, and Saline easily drained the clock to end the game and to hand Chelsea its first defeat of the season.

Leftovers:

• The game was broadcast live on the internet thanks to the Great American Rivalry Series; as a part of the hoopla, Chelsea senior Michael Roberts received a scholarship and longtime Chelsea coach Phil Bareis received an award.

Next Week:
Chelsea faces the Railsplitters of Lincoln; the game is at 7:00 on Friday in Chelsea.  Be there.