Varsity 2008 record: 9-2 (6-2 SEC)

Chelsea’s high-voltage fuse-blowing pun-inducing win over Milan sent the Bulldogs on to face the Bulldogs.  But as much fun as an intrasquad playoff scrimmage sounded, the Other Bulldogs weren’t from Chelsea; instead, they were from Mason.  (Also, Mason Bulldogs are blue and red, which just makes them purple waiting to happen.)

Those who recall a bit of the history of Chelsea football will remember Mason as a fairly regular nonconference opponent; the two teams met 14 times between 1972 and 1997, and the series ended up a remarkably even 7-7.  Mason disappeared from Chelsea’s regular-season schedule after the 1997 season, never to be seen again … until the whimsical hand of the MHSAA playoffs reunited the teams in 2002 (which was a nice change from its habit of scheduling conference teams).  As most every Chelsea fan remembers, being reunited didn’t feel so good for Chelsea; on a miserably cold and snowy night in Mason, the Ersatz Bulldogs used a fourth-quarter fumblerooski to score the winning touchdown, and the Genuine Bulldogs went home with a mild case of frostbite and a severe case of That Was Annoying.

In a binary football game, this would be the two yard line.

Chelsea had much higher hopes for the 2008 Meeting of the Bulldogs, but one thing would be the same: the game would again be at Mason thanks to the MHSAA playoff points formula, which used its mysterious powers to deem Mason the better set of Bulldogs.  They weren’t that much better, though: the difference was a mere .112 (89.778 to 89.666), which, in terms of playoff rankings, made Mason better then Chelsea only to the degree that Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are better than Reese’s Pieces.  That slim difference led everybody to anticipate a tasty, tasty clash not of chocolate and peanut butter, but of two good teams.

Like any good host would do, Mason let Chelsea have the ball first, and Chelsea express its gratitude by moving efficiently inside Mason’s 30.  The drive stalled before Chelsea could do any damage, but Mason punted the ball right back after a swift three and out; again, Chelsea moved the ball efficiently, and this time the drive didn’t stall: Nick Hill took the ball in from the three to give Chelsea a 7-0 lead.

Nick Hill cuts like a knife through the tension of your defense.

How happy is George Clark?  So happy!

Mason’s offensive woes continued with another three and out, but Chelsea couldn’t get past the 50; after a solid Michael Roberts punt pinned Mason at its own 13, Mason finally found offensive success.  But that success didn’t extend all the way down the field: Mason had a first and goal but failed to reach the end zone, so the kicker came out to cut into Chelsea’s lead.  There was, however, one small problem: the ball didn’t actually go through the uprights, and Chelsea’s lead stayed right where it was.

…But it didn’t stay there for long.  On second and 5 from the Mason 44, Roberts lofted a 44-yard touchdown pass to Jake Mantel to double Chelsea’s lead.  Mason pushed the ball past midfield but soon had to punt, and Chelsea took over with two minutes left in the half and a chance to extend its lead; however, Roberts’ 37 yard field goal fell short, leaving Chelsea’s halftime lead at 14.

It’s a good thing for Michael Roberts that this isn’t the comic strip Peanuts.

Kevin Rosentreter only has eyes for you.

Mason got the ball to start the second half with the goal of reducing Chelsea’s lead with some sort of score; however, a three and out isn’t worth any points under current football rules, so that goal went unfulfilled.  But Chelsea responded with its own three and out, and a 36-yard punt return gave Mason the ball inside Chelsea’s 20.  This time Mason accomplished its goal with a one-yard touchdown run, and Chelsea’s lead was down to seven.

Both Chelsea and Mason staged drives that chewed up the rest of the third quarter but resulted in no points, and early in the fourth quarter, Mason punted the ball away.  Chelsea took over on its own 11 and handed the ball to Hill, who surprised everybody with the one and WOOOOO!iest one and WOOOOO! of his career: he went 89 yards — his career long — for a touchdown.  Chelsea lined up for the extra point, but Mason was a bit jumpy, so there was a flag for offsides; Chelsea again lined up for the extra point, and Mason was again a bit jumpy, so there was another flag for offsides.  The second penalty put the ball on the half-yard line, and even Republicans and Democrats agree: that’s an extremely cordial invitation for a two-point conversion.  Chelsea accepted the invitation, and Roberts carried the ball for the conversion to make the score 22-7.

Evan Grau and Kyle Coburn are the ohms to Mason’s current.

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

The Chelsea defense is both immovable and irresistible.

That touchdown got Mason all riled up, and the Ersatz Bulldogs drove for a touchdown to pull back within eight points with over eight minutes to go; those with advanced football degrees know that a eight-point lead can be erased pretty quickly, so Chelsea took over with the intention of killing a little time on its way to a score.  The drive started well, with Hill producing two double-digit rushes; unfortunately, it soon bogged down, and Chelsea punted the ball away with five minutes left in the game.  Mason took over at its own 13 and began its march to the other end of the field; it was a ponderous march, once threatened by a fourth and 10, but it didn’t stop until Mason scored a touchdown with only 37 seconds left in the game.

Ah, but remember the two-point conversion Mason handed to Chelsea on a twice-offsides platter?  That meant Mason had to go for two just to tie the game, and Chelsea didn’t gift Mason any real estate to make it easier; on the conversion attempt, Mason ran to the left and, as it turned out, a bit backwards as well: Chelsea tackled the ballcarrier for a loss to keep Mason out of the end zone.  The failed conversion left Chelsea a two-point lead, and only an onside kick stood between Chelsea and a tasty, tasty win.  The onside kick was recovered by Chelsea, and the Genuine Bulldogs buried the memory of the 2002 loss as they celebrated their 22-20 victory and their third consecutive district championship.

Leftovers:

• For the third time this season, Nick Hill rushed for more than 300 yards; this time, he rushed 37 times for 317 yards and two touchdowns.
• Starting safety Cody Adams broke his leg in practice; he watched the game from a wheelchair on the sideline.
• A special guest spoke to the players after the game: current Denver Bronco tight end — and former Bulldog — Tony Scheffler.  The Broncos had played on Thursday night, so Scheffler was able to make the trip to Mason to watch Chelsea’s game on Friday.

Cody Adams holds the district championship trophy.

Former Bulldog and current Denver Bronco Tony Scheffler talks to the team after the game.