Monthly Archives: October 2006

Baseball math: 162 is less than 19

From a recent Lloyd Garver column on Sportsline.com:

“The cold weather on the East Coast during the World Series is always a great comic reminder of how absurdly long the playoffs are.”

If that’s humor, then it’s good humor.  If that’s a serious statement … well, then it’s good humor.

MLB regular season: 162 games.  MLB playoffs: absolute maximum 19 games (best of 5 division series, best of 7 conference series, best of 7 world series).  Whether he meant it as humor or as serious commentary, Garver helps make a fine statement: the MLB regular season is far too long.

NBA regular season: 82 games
NHL regular season: 82 games
NFL regular season: 16 games

I don’t see why the MLB regular season needs to be nearly twice as long as the NBA and NHL regular seasons, particularly when its longest possible postseason is nine games shorter than the longest possible NBA and NHL postseasons (four best of 7 series).

As far as the NFL … well, they got it right.  Even those with short attention spans can follow a 16-game schedule.

The past is now, vol. 1

The first of a likely brief series of selected highlights from the old mindreader:

04 December (2005)
Sports News: Jesus Inducted Into NHL Hall of Fame, and
I Have Something Important to Tell You, But I’ll Just Write It on the Wall

On Thanksgiving, I was in the Lone Star Steakhouse in Battle Creek. After the meal, I made my way into the bathroom (obviously, the men’s room). And, remarkably, I found humor in the bathroom — and it wasn’t bathroom humor!

On the wall, someone had written a serious message: “Jesus saves.” But a hockey fan, believing that Jesus must be a goalie, had supplemented that message with a simple, direct conclusion:

“And Gretzky scores on the rebound!”

I walked out of the bathroom laughing at the quick wit of that hockey fan.

Though the Gretzky quip was very humorous, it illustrates a major problem with impersonal evangelism. The message of the gospel — summarized as the pithy “Jesus saves” — is worth communicating to everyone around us, but the message loses something important when it is not communicated personally. Not only does it become very dry and detached, lacking the necessary genuine human component (Jesus saves, and I know because He saved me); it also becomes much more open to mockery, as shown in the restaurant bathroom. Anyone else who reads that particular message on the wall is far more likely to be struck by the humor than to be struck by the truth; in that sense, whatever good intentions the original writer may have had were lost in the humor of the second writer.

Of course, in the restaurant, there also was the issue of defacing property. It seems contradictory to proclaim the truth of salvation through Christ through a blatant display of disrespect for others’ property.

My point, I think, is simply this: be careful with impersonal methods of evangelization.

Also, pain relief is a potential side effect of Bayer

During last Sunday night’s football game, one commercial break featured an advertisement for Rozerem, a prescription sleep aid.  As usual, the ad included the fast-talking voiceover of potential side effects.  This list caught my ear:

“Side effects may include drowsiness, fatigue, and dizziness.”

Wouldn’t wakefulness be a more troubling side effect of a sleep aid?

(Yes, I know what they mean, but still.)

Hitting the fan

Before I say anything else, let me make one thing perfectly clear: as an avid sports fan, I love Chelsea football. I spend my Thursday and Friday evenings each fall following the high school teams. That investment of time should be proof that I write this as a Chelsea partisan. I hope that lends the proper tone to these comments.

As this football season has progressed, on more than one occasion I have found myself deeply frustrated. Not at the coaches, the players, or even the referees, but at what I hope is a vocal minority within our fans: complainers. Game after game, I have found myself gritting my teeth as I have listened to a few fans shout at the referees after nearly every potentially questionable call. My message is simple: this attitude has no place in high school athletics, and it needs to stop.

First, one major point: it is the job of the coaches to communicate with the referees. This is not up for debate. If there is a bad or questionable call, a coach will discuss it with the referee; if the officiating warrants further complaint, the proper parties — not fans — will make the proper complaints — not sarcastic insults — through the proper channels. It is not our place as fans to tell the officials what we thought of their calls. There is plenty of room to discuss the calls with the people around us; there are numerous sympathetic ears at every game. But when it comes to questionable calls, we should keep our voices off the field.

Next, consider the example we are setting for the athletes. They are supposed to play their best regardless of the calls they get — or don’t get — and they are supposed to respect the referees as the on-field authority, again, regardless of the calls. Just as vocal criticism of a coach during a game undermines the authority he must have to function as a coach, so does vocal criticsm of the referees undermine the authority they must have to function as game officials; when either authority suffers, the game suffers.

Also, consider the school and the community we represent. In sports, players and coaches are commonly considered the representatives of Chelsea, but it is negligent not to consider the fans as representatives of the community; in fact, as representatives, sometimes the fans are more influential than the players and coaches. As such, we are compelled to regulate our speech and behavior so as to avoid sullying the name and reputation of our community.

Finally, consider our purpose in attending the games. We are not there to be the show, nor are we there to denigrate anyone or anything; we are there to exhort our athletes. We are there to support our team. Period. And, contrary to the lessons political campaigns teach us, supporting our team does not include denigrating the other team. Sarcasm and taunts have no place in the role of fans at high school events.

In that light, we would be wise to remember this is high school athletics. This is not a major college or professional game, where one voice blends into the crowd. A crowd of five thousand is a big turnout for a varsity football game, and the lower-level teams draw even smaller crowds; a single voice can travel at many such events. The words we speak and the attitudes we project are significant.

A notable example of the danger of fan complaints occurred during the JV football game against Dexter. Later in the game, when Chelsea effectively had the win in hand, the officials made a questionable call, prompting an outcry from the Chelsea stands. On the tail end of that protest, one fan shouted, “Go back to Dexter!”

There are two problems with that incident. First, it is ridiculous to complain about questionable calls when the win is all but assured. When the game is in hand, the issue of whether or not somebody held or interfered or crossed the goal line is remarkably insignificant even in the small picture of that football game. Such words and attitudes project a cutthroat competitiveness that is out of place at the high school level.

Second, and quite simply, that sort of statement is insulting. It is insulting to the referee, particularly when there is no proof of his intentional bias, and it is insulting to the entire Dexter contingent. Think of the damage done if the Dexter fans leave with “Go back to Dexter!” ringing in their ears. Combined with the complaints of the winning fans, that insult projects an image that most Chelsea fans and residents likely would rather avoid.

One incident from last year’s baseball season provides a fitting conclusion. In the middle of the season, the varsity was playing at Ann Arbor Huron, and both the crowd and the coaching staff were becoming increasingly unsatisfied with the umpires; one mystifying sequence prompted coach Wayne Welton to speak to the umpire. Shortly after that conference, another call evoked another outcry from the fans. As the vocal fans expressed their displeasure directly to the umpire, Welton turned around, held up his hands and delivered a succinct message: “Hey, just let us play, okay?”

An excited crowd is a wonderful part of the high school athletic experience; the atmosphere of a full high school venue, as we had for the football game against Adrian, is among the best in sports. I love the passion we as a community can display on Friday nights, and I hope that passion is never diminished. But for the good of our athletes, coaches and community, we need to think before we speak. We need to be the fans; we need to let them play.

In every game, be this our aim, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y: Week 7 vs. Dexter

Chelsea High School Football record through week 7: 16-5 (3-0 week 7; 14-4 SEC).

The Bulldogs survived a scare this week. The freshmen and JV won easily, which wasn’t much of a surprise. But the expected easy win for the varsity did not materialize. In fact, they were 1:14 from losing to Dexter for the first time in 11 years. Dexter is massively improved from just a few years ago, but with Chelsea’s wealth of talent, few expected the varsity to have to struggle for a win on Baker Road.

This was the first game since the loss of the starting quarterback, so some offensive struggles were to be expected. They weren’t immediately apparent, as Adams led two early scoring drives, giving Chelsea a 13-7 lead. But after those scoring drives, the offense bogged down significantly … and Dexter’s offense, led by a dynamic quarterback (whose throwing mechanics resemble Michael Vick’s), came alive and gave the Chelsea defense immense problems. The Bulldogs were fortunate to take a 19-17 lead into halftime.

The second half was another rollercoaster. Dexter took a 23-19 lead, then Chelsea took a 26-23 lead in the fourth quarter — and with that drive, the offense also began to look more productive. Then, with 1:14 left, Dexter regained the lead, 29-26. The missed extra point left Chelsea the option for a game-tying field goal … if the offense could move the ball again.

A third-and-long situation on the third play of the drive left the Dexter student section confident enough to chant “S-E-C! S-E-C!” and to gather on the track to prepare to rush the field after the victory. But their celebration was delayed as Adams threw a short pass to Connell, who turned it into a first down. Several completions and one quarterback scramble for a first down later, the Bulldogs were threatening. And they did more than threaten; with nine seconds left, Adams threw a pass to Schwarze in the end zone for the winning score.

On the enusing kickoff, the Dexter return team elected to attempt to relive the Stanford-Cal lateral bonanza, but they succeeded only in losing yards and draining the clock as the stunned Dexter crowd watched.

Final score: Chelsea 33, Dexter 29.

A lesson for both sides: don’t assume victory. After 11 consecutive years of wins over Dexter, we Chelsea faithful got a bit comfortable on the winning side of the rivalry, and the near-loss was perhaps a bit more surprising than it really should have been. On the other hand, after a few minutes of superiority on the scoreboard, the Dexter faithful — really, just the students — forgot about the time remaining on the clock.

In any case, this game shows Dexter has closed the gap quite a bit; just a few years ago, the Dreadnaught football program was one of the most miserable in the area. That is no longer the case. In the coming years, we here in Chelsea should no longer be surprised if Chelsea/Dexter games are close — or if Dexter wins one before too long.

Encouraging: for much of the game, new quarterback Adams looked uncomfortable in the pocket, and his receivers did not help his confidence by dropping a few passes. But the last two drives of the game, he seemed to settle into the job. The last two drives were executed under pressure, trailing in the fourth quarter; on both drives, he led the offense to touchdowns. If those drives are any indication, the Chelsea offense is in good hands after the loss of Seelbach.

Eye-catching: Chelsea wore brand-new white pants for the game; the pants combined with the white away jerseys to produce an all-white look. It was an interesting move, but far too monochromatic. Without any color or contrast, they were just … white. The white pants with the home blue jerseys might be worth a try, but the all-white look was not the most appealing look the Bulldogs have displayed. And, after Friday’s close call, there’s no telling when they might choose to wear the white pants again.

Three roommates … part 3

The Lions/Vikings/Twins crisis has been averted: the Twins helpfully lost their series with the A’s. In fact, they got swept. The Lions should thank the Twins for being so kind as to avoid extending the series beyond the minimum necessary games.

But the problems with facility sharing still exist. Major sports should not share a venue.

Three roommates … part 2

The Free Press explained the absurd situation of the Lions due to the potential Vikings/Twins schedule conflict:

If the A’s complete a sweep of the Twins, the Lions will fly to Minnesota on Saturday and play the Vikings on Sunday as scheduled. No big deal.

But if the Twins win, that forces a Game 4 on Saturday — and puts the Lions at a distinct disadvantage. While the Vikings relax at home and wait to see when they’re playing, the Lions must come to team headquarters in Allen Park ready for three scenarios Saturday night:

• If the A’s win Game 4, the Lions will head right to the airport, fly to Minnesota and play the Vikings on Sunday.

• If the Twins win Game 4, the Lions will go home, sleep in their own beds, fly to Minnesota on Sunday and play the Vikings on Monday night.

• If Game 4 goes to deep into extra innings or is delayed by rain, earthquake or goodness-knows-what, the Lions will go to the airport and fly to Minnesota still uncertain of the situation. If the A’s win, they will play Sunday. If the Twins win, they will work out at the University of Minnesota and sit around until Monday night.

In major professional sports, this should not happen.  But when it does happen, the “home” team should have to endure the inconvenience of preparing to play its home game somewhere else.  If they can’t be sure of providing a home field for the originally scheduled date and time, then they, not the visitors, should face the consequences.

Watch out, or I’ll collate you, too; also, insert obligatory Hot Wheels joke here

1)The victim was airlifted to the nearest OfficeMax for emergency treatment
Lawrence, KS seems to be an odd town.  Small-town police blotters tend to be amusing; Lawrence proved that larger towns can be funny, too.  From the 04 October blotter:

“Lawrence police responded to the 100 block of Indian Avenue around 3:40 p.m. Tuesday after a 22-year-old Lawrence man allegedly hit another man in the head with a metal tape dispenser.

“The man was eventually arrested on suspicion of aggravated battery.”

Officers at the scene said the victim was fortunate his assailant was not carrying a loaded stapler.

They expect to have no problems making the charges stick, since the whole event was caught on tape.

2)Also, it’s great for grilling at a tailgate
There is a new vehicle anti-theft device in South Africa: a flamethrower.  It produces a fireball tall enough to engulf any thief … yet it is neither damaging to a car’s paint nor lethal to humans.  Apparently it simply blinds the would-be car thief.  And it’s only around $650.  And “it has yet to be deemed illegal.”

The bad news?  It doesn’t shoot flames out the back of the car to convince impatient drivers to back off.