Before I start this post, I’m going to say something that may cause at least half of my audience — so, 1.5 people — to lose interest in this post: though the title mentions football, this post contains exactly zero percent of your daily recommended allowance of football and approximately 100% of your daily recommended allowance of golf.

With all that full disclosuring out of the way, let’s get started.

If you’ve ever run a high school football program, you know it takes more than a couple dollars to keep the program going. One of the fundraisers the Chelsea football program relies on is the annual golf outing. This year I attended not to golf — in my 30 years on this earth I’ve mini-golfed and disc-golfed but never real-golfed — but to distract the golfers by taking pictures while they were trying to concentrate. I’d be awful at golfing, but I know I’m good at being a distracting pest with a camera.

Everybody started on the practice green, practicing missing putts so they would know how to react when they missed putts for real.

You may have noticed the row of signs behind this particular putter. Those yard signs are another form of fundraising the program uses. Here’s a better look at the signs:

Do you see the one that says Thompson’s Pizza? If you’ve never been to that legendary Chelsea establishment, you’re missing out. The next time you’re in the area, you need to make time for Thompson’s. I’d be happy to join you there if, you know, you’re too intimidated to go by yourself or something.

Anyway: after a few minutes on the practice green, the army of golfers began exploring The Best-Kept Lawn in the City of Chelsea.

There seems to be an unwritten, unspoken, inexplicable rule of golf that requires at least one person on the course to wear some sort of garish clothing. This gentleman must be a Tennessee fan.

Whenever I get a photo of somebody actually hitting a golf ball, I always want to include comic book-style sound effects. What, you’ve never done that? Here, try it with this photo:

THWACK! KA-BLAM! BIFF! See? It’s fun, isn’t it?

Since this was a good-natured fundraiser and not a Serious Competition, there were plenty of jokes happening around the course. In this photo, the remainder of Mr. Finger’s foursome displayed concern that Mr. Finger might end up hitting the ball backwards.

To their great shame — and to Mr. Finger’s credit — the ball went in the right direction!

The day included a few younger golfers, too.

One key skill of golfing is standing and watching your ball soar through the air.

Another key skill is landscaping. Here, one golfer rearranges the turf.

After that shot, he turned to me and said, “Tell me you didn’t get that.” Obviously I didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.

If you’re an ardent Michigan sports fan, you might be familiar with a caped gentleman who goes by the name SuperFan. He’s a common sight on tv during Michigan football games, but what many people don’t know is that the original Michigan SuperFan is a CHS graduate and a former Chelsea football player. He showed up to the golf outing — without the cape — to support the program.

At one point during my drive around the course, I caught up with SuperFan just as he was putting…

…and I got his reaction when his putt went in.

Of course, the outing included some of the CHS football coaches. Normally on this blog you’d see Coach Fanning on the field, but here’s a look at his Standing And Watching golf pose:

A.T. got in on the golfing, too:

And, of course, Coach Bush did his share of driving, chipping and putting…

…as did his son, Jack.

Another notable golfer was the current Voice of the Bulldogs — and the new director of Chelsea middle school athletics — Jason Morris. If you’ve been to a football game at Chelsea, you’ve heard his voice over the PA. And now…

…you’ve seen him swing a golf club. After he hit the ball, he declared that the best drive he’d ever hit. It’s a good thing I got a shot of it.

Also on the course was longtime CHS baseball coach and recently retired CHS athletic director Wayne Welton.

Wayne’s son Joe, who played football at Chelsea, joined him.

Remember the unwritten garish clothing rule? Another gentleman embraced that rule with gusto.

What’s great about his golf attire, though, is that it fits the CHS color scheme.

After finishing 18 holes, everybody sat down for lunch.

If you see a photo you’d like to buy, or if you’d like to see more photos — believe me, there are plenty more! — you can find the full gallery over on the football page of the Burrill Strong Photography site.