Freshmen: d. by Adrian 11-24
JV: d. Adrian 23-20

Varsity 2008 record: 5-1 (4-1 SEC)

Week 6 presented the world — well, southeastern Michigan, anyway — with a marquee SEC matchup: the Chelsea Bulldogs vs. the Adrian Maples.  Chelsea was 4-1, with its only loss being an ugly performance against Saline; Adrian was 5-0 with a string of impressive wins.  Chelsea was the reigning SEC champion with another talented team vying for another conference title; Adrian had its best team in years and, with the game at its stadium, an excellent chance to dethrone the Bulldogs and take their place atop the conference.

“Hey … why am I the only one without a helmet?”

Clearly, Grant Fanning has a magnetic personality.

In another bizarre coincidence, everyone on the team hurt an ankle at the same time.

As if all that wasn’t enough to give the Bulldogs cause for concern, the Fighting Deciduous Trees came into the game ranked #2; this meant that while Chelsea’s on-field personnel included fairly typical nomenclature like quarterback, tight end, linebacker and safety, Adrian’s was a bit different.  Through my sources, I have obtained a chart of the thoroughly intimidating offensive personnel Adrian used to attain its lofty ranking:

It probably goes without saying that victory is always difficult against a team that can field 22 positions of awesome.  But you still have to play the game, and that’s exactly what Chelsea and Adrian did.

The Bulldogs received the ball first, and after a set of consistently positive plays that got the ball to the Adrian 40, Michael Roberts lofted a deep pass down the middle of the field; Michael Lenneman, having somehow gotten maybe just kind of a little bit open, was under the pass when it came back to earth, and he strode into the end zone untouched.  The whole drive seemed a bit easier than expected, but nobody on the east sideline was complaining, and Roberts’ extra point gave Chelsea a 7-0 lead.  But that lead didn’t last long: after Chelsea quickly forced Adrian into a fourth and one, Adrian decided to gain not just one yard for the first down, but 60 yards for the touchdown.

With score tied at 7, Chelsea took over at its own 15 and promptly went backwards, ending up with a fourth and 14.  The Tasty Syrup Producers returned the punt to Chelsea’s 30 and were pretty excited about their great field position … until they realized that they probably should have paid attention in math class that day: there had been a little bit too much deciduousness on the field, and there was a flag on the play for twelve men on the field.  The 15-yard penalty gave Chelsea a first down, and the Bulldogs marched into Adrian territory as the first quarter came to a close.

It seems the defense rested.

The Adrian ballcarrier is beginning to grasp the gravity of the situation.

The second quarter opened with Chelsea failing to convert a third and ten, and the Bulldogs had to settle for a 43-yard field goal to retake the lead.  This, of course, didn’t sit well with Adrian, and a few minutes later a 25-yard field goal to once again tie the score.  It was then that the defenses decided they wanted to have a voice in the game: Adrian held Chelsea to a three and out, and two plays later, Chelsea responded by forcing a fumble at the Adrian 19.  Two plays later, Chelsea had first and goal, but the Adrian defense again stood firm, and Chelsea again settled for a field goal to take another three-point lead with 42 seconds left in the half.

Chelsea’s kickoff sailed into the end zone, and Chelsea looked to have a good chance to take its lead into the locker room.  But then on Adrian’s next snap, Nick Galvan had the audacity to take a simple handoff 80 yards for a touchdown, and all of a sudden, Chelsea’s lead was a lot less leady.  That was an unpleasant twist at the end of the first half, but there was a whole second half to counteract that, right?  Well … yeah, but it turns out the half wasn’t over just yet.  See, there were still 30 seconds left, and the Bulldogs weren’t really content to let the half end without a little more excitement; on its first snap, the Chelsea offense put together a beautiful hook and ladder play — Roberts threw a short pass to Lenneman, who immediately pitched the ball to Nick Hill, who ran and ran and ran and ran — and 66 yards later, Chelsea had its lead back.  That really was the last score of the first half — seriously! — and the teams took a break to recover from the hilariously frenetic last 42 seconds of the second quarter.

“Anybody want anything from Jimmy John’s?  I have the menu right here.”

This picture features the defensive strategy known as “Group Hug!”

Adrian received the ball to start the second half, but the Majestic Symbols of Canadian Majesty could manage nothing more than a three and out; in contrast, the Chelsea offense took the field and, like its last drive of the first half, immediately put together a one and WOOOOO!: on first down, Hill took the ball 54 yards for a touchdown to give Chelsea a 10-point lead.  Again, this didn’t sit well with Adrian: 80 yards and two minutes later, Chelsea’s lead was back to three, and the game’s stress level was back to I’m Glad There’s An Ambulance Here heights.

No, Adrian, fourth down is not the new first down.

If you put a 1 between the 3 and the 2 on his jersey, you get a school record.

As they did in the first half, the defenses decided to make another appearance, and the teams put together a string of six consecutive three and outs — three by Adrian and three by Chelsea, one of which ended with a missed 51-yard field goal attempt — that took the rest of the third quarter.  The parade of punts came to an end early in the fourth quarter when Hill fumbled a Maple punt, and Adrian took full advantage of that mistake by marching down the field and scoring a touchdown to take their first lead since late in the second quarter.  Of course, that lead lasted all of 16 seconds, and the Maples were determined to make this lead last a bit longer; in most games, that would be a realistic — even easy — goal.  However, as the end of the first half proved, this game was not most games, and Adrian could not meet its goal: twelve seconds after the Maples scored, Hill took the ball 69 yards for another touchdown to give Chelsea a 34-31 lead.

Without Michael Roberts’ teleportation abilities, this wouldn’t end well.

When George Clark wants you to fall down, you’d better fall down.

Adrian started its next drive with an illegal procedure penalty, and it didn’t get any better from there: after one first down, the Maples fumbled the ball at their own 10, and Chelsea took over with a chance to introduce a bit of desperation into Adrian’s demeanor.  But the Adrian defense, boldly risking an onslaught of scads of tree-based puns about being firmly rooted, held Chelsea out of the end zone, and the Bulldogs lined up for a field goal; however, the kick sailed wide right, and Adrian still had nearly five minutes to erase the deficit.  And given the number of big plays that littered the game summary to that point, they might have done it … but Dakota Cooley wasn’t really in the mood to see that happen, so he intercepted an Adrian pass at midfield with just over two and a half minutes to play.

With a slim lead late in the fourth, Chelsea’s primary goal was to run out the clock.  It was a good goal, too, but it didn’t really work out — not because Adrian made a big stop, but because Adrian didn’t make a big stop: for the third time in the game, Chelsea put together a one and WOOOOO! when Hill took the ball 49 yards for a touchdown.  Hill’s score — his fourth of the game — gave Chelsea a ten-point lead with two and a half minutes to play, and that was more than enough; Adrian went four and out on its last possession, and Chelsea had only to kneel down to seal a thrilling 41-31 victory.

When Chelsea people get excited, they get blurry.

Leftovers

• Thanks in large part to his long-distance touchdown runs — his four touchdowns covered 62, 54, 69 and 49 yards — Nick Hill set a school record with 24 rushes for 312 yards.  So, if Hill had given the Gettysburg Address after the game, he might have started by saying, “Four score and 312 yards ago…”
• Full photo gallery.

Next Week:
Chelsea faces the Pioneering Pioneers of Pioneer; the game is on Friday in Ann Arbor at 7:00.