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Commitment to Excellence: Week 7 vs. Dexter

JV: d. by Dexter 14-6; 4-3 (3-3 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Dexter 41-20; 4-2-1 (3-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 7-0 (6-0 SEC)


They’re big; he’s little.

When it comes to high school sports, we here in Chelsea love the Dexter Dreadnaughts. Of course, when I say “love,” I mean “never, ever want to lose to”; this is because Dexter functions as Chelsea’s Ohio State. (Did you notice how Chelsea is the local favorite and Dexter is the out-of-town enemy in that metaphor? I know what I’m doing here.) Many sporting events between the schools are a little bit more heated and a little bit more exciting; last year provided several outstanding examples of the ongoing rivalry. The final regular-season basketball game between the schools packed Dexter’s gym, and the crowd noise during the overtime thriller left my ears ringing; the hockey playoff game between the schools held the same sort of energy on a smaller scale, and it also went into overtime. Oh, and the schools met in the baseball playoffs, too; that game — also a nailbiter — drew another smaller but similarly excited crowd.

But even as Dexter athletics in general have flourished, the Dexter football program has not achieved that same level of success. Recent history has been particularly unkind to the Dreadnaughts; over the last ten years, as Chelsea has hit its stride, Dexter football has averaged under three wins per season. These struggles have translated into an 11-game streak of Chelsea victories (1996-2006), and that streak has made for a seemingly odd rivalry in which both schools still care about the games despite the fact that Dexter hasn’t beaten Chelsea in football since this year’s seniors were five or six years old.

Ah, but this is the beauty of high school sports rivalries: they can be bigger than just one sport. There may be a gap between the football programs, but on the whole, the Chelsea and Dexter athletic departments are close enough to perpetuate a rivalry. And multi-sport athletes only encourage the rivalry; each time they lose in one sport, they gain a greater determination to win in their next sport. That football player on the losing end wants to win in basketball or hockey; that basketball or hockey player on the losing end wants to win in baseball. Graduation brings an end to each individual cycle of defeat and determination, but there are always more athletes starting that cycle anew each year.

Fortunately for the football rivalry, Dexter football has started to show signs of life. This became abundantly clear last year when Dexter came within nine seconds of ending Chelsea’s winning streak; it took a Jeff Adams touchdown pass to Nate Schwarze to shock the prematurely exultant Dexter students and give Chelsea a narrow 33-29 victory. The close finish reminded Chelsea to take Dexter seriously — a necessary reminder after a string of particularly lopsided games — and it injected more life into the football side of the rivalry. In the light of that game, and because Dexter’s cartoony ship mascot bears some resemblance to the mighty Trogdor, this year’s meeting had all kinds of scary written all over it for the undefeated Bulldogs.


Brad Bush tells Jeff Adams he just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.


Sam Birgy shall lay to waste all who dare interfere with Nick Hill.

Just like last week, the game started well for Chelsea. For much of the first half, the Chelsea defense took its usual anti-yardage stance, and the Chelsea offense took advantage of two generous Dexter turnovers to build a 14-0 lead. It wasn’t a gigantic lead, but with the way Dexter’s offense seemed to be struggling against Chelsea’s defense, it seemed substantial enough. But on the horizon was a less encouraging similarity to last week: a collapse late in the first half. A timely punt return put Dexter in position to score, and with only 23 seconds left in the first half, the Dreadnaughts cut Chelsea’s lead in half.


‘Cause we got a mighty convoy, rockin’ through the night.


Scott Naab, Jeff Adams and Nick Hill discuss Michigan’s economic struggles.


Much like fame, 14-point leads can be fleeting.

Last week’s halftime collapse resulted in an early second-half touchdown for Saline; as the teams took the field for the second half, the Chelsea faithful hoped that little tidbit of history would not repeat itself. But this week, though Chelsea’s halftime doldrums continued, they seemed to be new and improved doldrums — now with fewer points allowed! — that yielded only one Dexter field goal. That seemed to bring the team back to life and back to reality; at the end of an impressive drive, Chelsea answered Dexter’s adorable little field goal with a touchdown, and the lead was back to eleven. And while eleven is not as good as fourteen, it’s certainly better than four. And, of course, all of those numbers are better than negative numbers, which aren’t really numbers, but instead are cruel little Terrell Owenses performing touchdown celebrations on your hopes and dreams. In other words, it’s good to have the lead.


Stu Mann enjoys long walks on your quarterback.


Grant Fanning sends his love to the defense.

Even after that touchdown, the game wasn’t done being interesting. Not by a long shot, or even by a 12-yard pass, which is exactly what Dexter used to score a touchdown to keep hope alive. After a failed two-point conversion attempt, the lead was back down to five, and a five-point lead — which is so totally less than a six-point touchdown — registers a thrilling eight white knuckles on my Fourth Quarter Stress Scale. But like a soothing muscle relaxant, the Chelsea running game brought the color back into my knuckles as it ran through the Dexter defense to devour the remainder of the fourth quarter, and that five-point lead proved to be enough to keep the Bulldogs undefeated.


You can quote Brad Bush on that.

Leftovers:

  • Here’s a fun one: Chelsea’s total offensive output was 231 yards, which happens to be exactly the same as Dexter’s total offensive output. (In case you were curious, that is according to the Ann Arbor News.)
  • It seems like I mention Nick Hill every week, but it also seems like I have good reason to do so; this week, that good reason is his three touchdowns. Math-minded sports fans may have already realized this, but that accounts for every touchdown Chelsea scored this week. (I almost said it accounts for all 21 Chelsea points, but then I realized that would be insulting to the placekicker.)
  • As a Michigan fan, I’m just not on board with Dexter’s use of the Michigan helmet design. If they had the right colors, I wouldn’t mind it; however, their colors are those of Minnesota, a Big Ten school whose name is not the University of Michigan. I suppose it’s not as bad as it would be if Dexter’s colors were green and white or red and gray; still, it doesn’t look right.
  • At one point during the game, the Dexter student section held up a sign that made me laugh; it said, “Mike Vick the Bulldogs.” Though the accusations against Vick are serious, the sign was a creative change of pace from the usual rah-rah kick-’em-in-the-shins sentiments.
  • It seems Tecumseh celebrated Arena Football Appreciation Day on Friday; the Indians defeated the Railsplitters 72-42. Defense? What’s that? It must be some antiquated 20th-century concept.
  • Finally, on a more serious note, due to the resignation of the entire freshman coaching staff, Saline has canceled the remainder of its freshman football season. The staff resigned in protest of superintendent Beverly Geltner’s decision to reinstate a player who had been suspended six weeks earlier; from what I’m told, the coaches were justified in suspending the player, and the majority of the parents supported the coaches’ decision. Maybe there is some important detail that hasn’t come to light; maybe the superintendent had some good reason — threatened litigation or a couple angry parents don’t qualify — to step over the athletic director and the entire football coaching staff to reinstate a player. But if she didn’t have any real reason to do so, then she succeeded only in destroying the freshman team and damaging Saline football. And if that is the case, then this situation is a real shame.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Pioneers of, uh, Pioneer; the game is at Pioneer at 7:00PM. Also, after using it three times in one sentence, I am tired of the word Pioneer. Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 6 vs. Saline

JV: d. by Saline, 7-13; 4-2 (3-2 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Saline, 27-48; 3-2-1 (2-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 6-0 (5-0 SEC)

For the most part, the SEC is populated by mascots that range from magnificent to innocuous; the lone exception to that rule is one of Chelsea’s strongest football rivals: the Saline Hornets. Bulldogs are appealingly fierce; Pioneers are adventurous; Dreadnaughts are warships; Kicking Mules are stubborn and, um, kicking; Maples are majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves. But Hornets don’t possess any such impressive or appealing qualities; instead, they’re invasive, ill-tempered pests that bring out the exterminator in everybody. (In general, the actual people in Saline are not invasive, ill-tempered pests, so that mascot isn’t particularly representative. Of course, the actual people in Adrian aren’t majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves, either, so I guess that’s not important.)

Despite possessing a mascot that is terrible at making friends, Saline has a strong football program; its overall winning percentage of .624 is just below Chelsea’s .649, and since 1955, it has a 29-21-3 record against Chelsea, making the Hornets strong rivals indeed.


Main Street Coney Island knows where its bread is buttered. So to speak.

Last year’s game was problematic for Chelsea for two reasons: first, quarterback John Seelbach tore his ACL in the third quarter, and second, Chelsea lost. But in a fashion sense, last year’s game was problematic for Saline: thanks to their monochromatic uniforms, they looked a bit like blueberries wearing helmets. Seriously: contrast is a good thing. Put stripes on the pants or something. Please? Thank you.

This year’s game looked like a good opportunity for Chelsea to end its two-game losing streak to Saline; Chelsea was enjoying a 5-0 record thanks to a strong running game and a good defense, and Saline — in addition to having let Vince Helmuth graduate — was on its backup quarterback and was coming off a loss to Tecumseh, a team Chelsea already defeated. But for that favorable situation to translate into a victory, Chelsea had to remember that Saline was no pushover. (Saline helped by not looking like blueberries this year; instead, they wore eye-catching yellow jerseys and changed their name to the Fighting Penalty Flags. And half of that is really actually totally true!)


Look, ma! They’re on TV!


And radio!

The first 18 minutes went very well for Chelsea; aside from one long touchdown pass, the defense handled Saline’s offense, and Chelsea’s offense moved with pleasant efficiency, scoring on three of its first four possessions. When Chelsea held a 26-7 lead late in the second quarter, it was beginning to look as though it would be a rout. But then one disastrous sequence brought Saline right back into the game.


Tyler Ball makes every road a dead end.


Seriously. Nick Hill is getting tired of all these attempted tackles. Go knit a sweater or something.


Stu Mann just wants to know your shirt size.

The sequence began with a crucial play by Chelsea’s defense; Saline was driving late in the second, and a touchdown seemed inevitable. But then a Saline ball carrier fumbled inside the 10, and Chelsea took possession with the opportunity to run almost all the time off the clock and escape with that 19-point lead. A three-and-out left some time on the clock, but a good punt would make it difficult for Saline to score; of course, that notion was dependent upon a good Chelsea punt, and unfortunately, the punt was far from good. Saline took possession in Chelsea territory and, just a few plays later, scored a touchdown. After a successful two-point conversion, the lead was down to 26-15, and all the momentum was in Saline’s favor.


Jake Galarowic and Taylor Hopkins stop, collaborate and tackle.


You can’t spell “special Brian Montoye teams” without Brian Montoye.


They’re not bloodthirsty zombies; they just love quarterbacks.

For a while, the second half didn’t look much more promising; Saline returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown, and what once was a dominating 21-point lead was down to four. But just when Chelsea fans became most nervous, the Chelsea offense — anchored by its running game, which ended up producing 341 yards — drove for a much-needed touchdown to push the lead back to 11. That seemed to put the Bulldogs back in the right frame of mine; Saline managed to put the ball in the end zone one more time, but Chelsea answered that with another touchdown of its own to end the scoring.


Nick Hill is steaming, but he’s not mad.


On TV, Jake Galarowic’s jersey number is 10/9 Central.

Leftovers:

  • Unlike the last two weeks, the Chelsea offense actually outgained its opponent this week! And not just by a few yards, either. Chelsea gained 421 yards to Saline’s 260 yards, thanks largely to the aforementioned mountain of rushing yardage. Oh, and also in the new and improved department, Chelsea out-firstdowned Saline, too, 17 to 11. (Yes, I said out-firstdowned.)
  • Nick Hill dominated the stat sheet this week; of 341 yards rushing and six touchdowns, he contributed 210 yards and four touchdowns.
  • At 6-0, Chelsea has qualified for the playoffs for the ninth consecutive season.
  • Chelsea and Saline are two of the stronger programs in the area, so the game attracted plenty of attention; 1600 WAAM broadcast the game live, Fox Sports Net and State Champs sent crews to gather footage, and W4 Country ran a contest at halftime.
  • Speaking of W4 Country, I have a bit of a bone to pick with the crew they sent to the game. They brought their van and set up a tent outside the stadium entrance, which is all well and good; however, they set up the van and tent in the handicap parking, taking up three parking spots in the process. Those spots are there for a good reason, and no part of that reason involves radio station promotions.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Dreadnaughts of Dexter; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00PM.

Burrill Strong Photography: Now With More Press Boxiness!

After the 2005 football season, Chelsea renovated its football stadium; among many other things, this renovation included a new press box. As high school press boxes go, it was functionally excellent. But as it turns out, it wasn’t yet finished.

Prior to this season, the finishing touches were put on the press box; these finishing touches included things like carpeting and individual lights at the desks, as well as a microwave and a small refrigerator. But it seems it still wasn’t finished; in addition to all those practical features, Chelsea’s athletic director had one aesthetic finishing touch in mind. So, early in the football season, he contacted me to ask about acquiring a particular photograph for the wall of the press box. And as of last week, that photograph has been printed and framed.

So now, when you walk into the main room of the Chelsea football press box, you will see this:

Some of you may recognize the photograph as the current background image of the football page of my business website; a few of you may even remember it from its brief appearance on my business card. Though it no longer appears on my business card, it still is one of my favorite pictures, and I am pleased to have it adorning the wall of the press box.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 5 vs. Lincoln

JV: d. Lincoln 55-8; 4-1 (3-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Lincoln 47-14; 2-2-1 (1-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 5-0 (4-0 SEC)


Ground control to Major Bush; take your protein pills and put your helmet on.


Scott Naab isn’t easily distracted; he’s made from concentrate.

When it comes to football, despite having an excellent mascot — an ax-wielding U.S. president! — Lincoln has had more struggles than success. The history of Railsplitter football is not overflowing with victories, but the last decade in particular offers a stark picture of a program mired in a very deep depression. From 1997 through 2006, the statistics show:

  • Overall record: 19-76 (a winning percentage of .200)
  • Two winning seasons (1997, 1998)
  • Eight seasons of 2 wins or fewer

The numbers are fully representative of the reality: Lincoln football is a mess. Over the last three and a half seasons (including this year’s game against Chelsea), Lincoln has gone a miserable 1-31, with the lone victory coming in 2003 against a Dexter team that also finished 1-8. And many of those losses haven’t even been competitive; Lincoln’s average margin of defeat in that time period is 34 points.

This litany of futility is in no way intended as an insult to Lincoln football; I do not take joy in seeing high school football programs mired in such a sad state. But with Lincoln in the SEC, it’s something we in Chelsea can’t really forget; Chelsea has defeated Lincoln by an average of 33 points since 1999 (including this year’s game), and as one of the previous statistics showed, Chelsea isn’t alone in achieving lopsided defeats of Lincoln. Something is severely broken in the football program, and for the sake of the athletes at Lincoln, the losing culture of Lincoln football needs to be changed. That is neither an easy nor a short process, but it is possible; I hope to see another competitive Railsplitter football team before another decade passes. It would be good for everyone.

I’ll leave the opinionated analysis of the successes and failures in the Lincoln athletic department for someone more credibly able to detail them; regardless of the state of Lincoln football, there was a game Friday.


Dean Roberts had a snack, but he’s still hungry.

On Friday, I was concerned that Chelsea players and fans may have arrived at the facility on Willis Road in a dangerous mindset. The previous week’s game against Adrian was a hard-fought victory, the following week’s game will bring Saline to Jerry Niehaus Field, and the last time Lincoln was competitive with Chelsea was back when the current seniors were nine years old; between the strong teams bookending the Lincoln game and the cupcakerous tendencies of the Railsplitters, this game would have been easy to overlook. I knew it would take a lot of overlooking for Chelsea to lose this game, and I knew the coaches had done everything they could to keep the players’ minds on Lincoln, but … well, I was at the stadium for Michigan’s loss to Appalachian State, so I think I am justified in being mildly paranoid. Happy thoughts … Notre Dame … Penn State … Mike Hart … okay, back to Chelsea.


Chris Schmelz distracts a defender with Zoolander‘s Blue Steel look.


If Sam Birgy closes his eyes, you can’t see Nick Hill (32) and Jeff Adams!


Excuse me, but Tyler Ball would like to discuss something with your quarterback.


Is this official a Texas Longhorns fan, or does he just want to rock on?

The opening kickoff certainly helped allay my fears of a fatally distracted team; Chris Schmelz took the opening kickoff and ran, Forrest, ran for 82 yards to open up a quick 7-0 lead. The rest of the first half featured four more Chelsea touchdowns, including a highlight-reel one-handed touchdown catch by Schmelz, a thoroughly enjoyable 64-yard touchdown pass from Michael Lenneman — who, by the way, isn’t the quarterback — to Donny Riedel, and an outstanding 71-yard touchdown run (that was described to me by a friend as something out of a video game) by quarterback Jeff Adams; at halftime, Chelsea held a comfortable 34-7 lead, and all was well in Bulldogland. Well, it was an away game, so I suppose all was well in Portable Bulldogland.


Randy Cox is not afraid to show affection on the football field.


With no defenders in sight, Jeff Adams is forced to stiff-arm his own teammate.

In the second half, Chelsea coach Brad Bush brought in substitutes, and Chelsea fans started to get a good look at Lincoln’s developing young Studly Stud McStuderson, sophomore quarterback Andrew Dillon. He had shown flashes of ability both to throw good passes and to get out of trouble with his feet in the first half, but the Chelsea defense was strong enough — and, occasionally, his receivers were droppy enough — to limit the Lincoln offense to one scoring drive late in the first half; in the second half, Dillon began to showcase his immense potential by leading the Railsplitters to three touchdowns in the second half. He had help from speedy running back Travis Davidson, but Dillon himself displayed ability that could make him a good foundation for a competitive football team. If the Lincoln staff develops a team around him, he could lead them to a few more wins over the next two years.


With one mighty gesture, Grant Fanning can change entire defenses.


Steven O’Keefe is coming for you. Especially if your name is End Zone.

When Dillon wasn’t on the field being all capable and stuff, the Chelsea offense was in the hands of junior quarterback Randy Cox; he made sure Dillon’s efforts didn’t morph into heroics by leading Chelsea to two more touchdowns, one a pass to Jason Kolokithas and the other a 1-yard keeper. Those touchdowns were more than enough to seal another Chelsea victory, keeping the team undefeated and putting it one win away from ensuring a ninth consecutive playoff appearance.


No, Riley Feeney is not interested in any peace treaty, thank you very much.

Leftovers:

  • Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent. This time, the margin was a bit larger; Lincoln gained 477 yards, while Chelsea gained 422. But yet again, Chelsea won.
  • During the game, I talked to Wayne Welton, Chelsea’s baseball coach; he informed me that Dillon pitched a 1-0 shutout of Chelsea last spring. Seriously, he’s good.
  • As you can see in the above pictures, Lincoln’s football uniforms bear a strong resemblance to the Detroit Lions’ throwback uniforms. I am a fan of the Lions’ throwbacks, so that’s fine by me.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Hornets of Saline; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 4 vs. Adrian

JV: d. Adrian 16-13; 3-1 (2-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Adrian 15-20; 1-2-1 (0-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity 2007 record: 4-0 (3-0 SEC)


Michael Cooper gazes longingly into the distance and thinks of touchdowns.


When I work during the national anthem, I’m looking for shots like this one.


Your mom plays football for Chelsea.

Many schools choose mascots that have some sort of actively fierce quality — bulldogs are known for tenacity and fearlessness, pirates are known for their ruthlessness (but not for their resemblance to Johnny Depp), hornets are known for being pests — but Adrian football, like a certain poisonous nut school south of here, labors under the banner of an inanimate mascot. So, instead of the Adrian Fierce Animals, Ill-Tempered People or Unpleasant Insects, the football team takes the field each Friday as the Adrian Maples. And I don’t know about you, but that makes me think of syrup. And Canada. Oh, Canada.

Despite that syrupy sweet mascot with strong roots and aesthetically pleasing leaves, Adrian football has been a solidly consistent program; it has posted eight consecutive winning seasons with an average of over 7 wins each year, and after a 3-0 start in 2007, another winning season appears within reach. And since 2000, Adrian has posted a respectable 3-4 record against Chelsea (not including this year), whereas Dexter and Lincoln haven’t beaten Chelsea since 1995 and 1997 respectively, and Bedford has never beaten Chelsea. (Dexter nearly ended that streak last year.)

Over the years, I have become accustomed to seeing Adrian offenses that have been an effective hybrid between Tecumseh’s current offense and more typical offenses that do not keep the forward pass in a glass case that says “EMERGENCY USE ONLY”; there always seemed to be some big bruising running back ready to run straight into the line and gain five yards without really trying and ten yards with some effort, but there was more than enough of a passing game to keep the defensive secondary awake. If transferred to another hasty Photoshop diagram, my memories of the typical Adrian offense in years past would look something like this:

Last year, Adrian’s offense got all pass-happy due to the presence of quarterback Steve Threet, who was good enough to catch the attention of Georgia Tech. But despite high expectations brought on by the arm of Threet, Adrian managed only a 6-4 record, which included a first-round playoff loss. This year, the offense did not return to its Incredible Hulkingback self, but instead adapted to its new starting quarterback, who, unlike Threet and his Navarre-like lead feet, is so capable of making plays with his feet that he has already run for 200 yards against Michigan. That quarterback, Brent Ohrman, directed Adrian to a 3-0 start this season, making Friday’s game a clash of unbeatens. (As well as a clash of persistent dogs and really good shade trees highly valued for pancake-based applications.)

The pregame didn’t bode well for Adrian; as the teams were warming up, the announcer welcomed “the Chelsea Dreadnaughts.” The Dreadnaughts moniker does not belong to Chelsea; instead, it belongs to Dexter, one of Chelsea’s biggest sports rivals. That mix-up is essentially the local high school sports equivalent of welcoming the Michigan Buckeyes or the Notre Dame Trojans. The announcer quickly corrected himself, but the damage was done, and the Chelsea crowd was not particularly happy.


Jeff Adams is not being tackled; he is levitating. Gravity cannot stop him.


Sunshine on my shoulders makes me watch football. And that makes me happy.


And he was all like yeah, I’m going to run downfield. And Taylor Hopkins was all like um, no.

The first quarter went a long way towards helping Chelsea forget that incident. The Adrian offense struggled to gain meaningful yardage, and after 3-yard and 53-yard Nick Hill touchdown runs, Chelsea had a 14-0 lead. However, Chelsea also squandered opportunities; the ineffectiveness of Adrian’s offense gave Chelsea consistently good field position that, ideally, would have resulted in more than 14 points. The night prior, Chelsea’s JV had squandered good opportunities and ended up with a 16-13 victory on a last-second field goal; as I watched the varsity fail to capitalize on field position and momentum, I hoped the game wouldn’t come down to the last second. But Adrian could manage nothing more than a field goal in the first half, and Chelsea held an encouraging 14-3 halftime lead.

The second half had an even more encouraging start; the Chelsea offense marched down the field, and Hill dragged a would-be tackler into the end zone to score his third touchdown of the night on a 5-yard run. That touchdown gave Chelsea a somewhat commanding 21-3 lead, and everyone in the blue and gold was feeling good. But it was still only the third quarter, and Adrian was not yet ready to concede the game. Not long after that touchdown, the Chelsea offense stalled deep in its own territory, and Jeff Adams had to punt from his own end zone; the Adrian defense managed to block the punt and recover it in the end zone for a touchdown, cutting Chelsea’s lead to 21-10 and making the Chelsea faithful just a little bit nervous.


Dean Roberts looks hungry.


Nick Hill will break your tackle. Just like he will break you.


First down? The Chelsea offense needs no first down.


Donny Riedel cuts like a knife through the buttery goodness of your defense.

To make the Chelsea faithful even more nervous, the Chelsea offense began to sputter after the early third-quarter touchdown drive. Consistent yardage and first downs became scarce, resulting in short drives that didn’t give the defense much time to breathe; considering the fancy feet of Ohrman, the fatigue of the defense was a major concern. And Ohrman seemed to find a rhythm in the second half, moving around the field and making a few too many plays. But time and time again, the defense stood tall and made stops and forced turnovers, and Adrian was unable to score a single offensive point in the second half; thanks in large part to those second-half defensive stands, and because Tecumseh upset Saline that same evening, Chelsea walked off the field as the only unbeaten team in the SEC.


James Connelly is Batman.

Leftovers:

  • Though Ohrman was good at leaving Chelsea’s defense frustrated, Nick Hill actually outrushed Adrian as a whole. Hill accumulated 137 yards; Adrian accumulated 120.
  • Chelsea’s rushing game had a productive day (226 yards), but the passing game never got going (23 yards). Adrian threw for 146 yards, but couldn’t finish drives thanks to the Chelsea defense; despite several possessions in Chelsea territory in the fourth quarter, the offense ended up contributing only three points, and those came in the first half.
  • Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent: Adrian gained 266 yards, while Chelsea gained 249. Adrian also had five more first downs (18 to 13).
  • Heard during Thursday’s freshmen game: after one penalty, an irked parent (who happened to be from Adrian) shouted, “Make it fair for the kids!” Ah, the tragedy of a pass interference call. Save the children. Or read my thoughts from last year and stop yelling at the refs; your holding your tongue (or at the very least lowering your voice) and setting a decent example for your kids is more important than a penalty that may or may not be a debatable call.
  • Heard after Friday’s game: as I was walking out of the stadium, I passed two paramedics who were talking to another man. As I walked by, one of the paramedics was telling the man, “We don’t clean up after dead bodies.” I’m not sure I want any context for that one.
  • Adrian’s football stadium has been around for quite a while, and in many ways it is one of my favorite local stadiums. But I have one major gripe with it. The field has no track around it, which is something I always like to see; it brings the fans closer and gives the stadium a better atmosphere. But the seating areas were placed just a few feet too close to the field, making the sidelines a bit cramped and making the knee-high wall a real danger to players when they are forced out of bounds. On one occasion when Adams was chased out of bounds, he was unable to stop before he hit the wall; he happened to hit a crack in the wall, and while he (fortunately) escaped serious injury, he did end up with a cut on his lower leg. I realize the school district can’t make the sidelines any larger without a severely costly and impractical renovation, but I do have one suggestion: bring in padding for the concrete walls.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Railsplitters of Lincoln; the game is at Lincoln on Friday at 7:00 PM.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 3 vs. Tecumseh

JV: d. Tecumseh 28-14; 2-1 (1-1 SEC)
Freshmen: tied Tecumseh 48-48; 1-1-1 (0-1-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 3-0 (2-0 SEC)


John Hillaker is staring into your soul. And tackling it in the backfield.


Sure, they’re quiet now, but it won’t last.

Earlier this decade, Tecumseh football was enjoying a period of success that occurred largely due to a series of two superlative athletes. But as they are prone to do, the Studly Stud McStudersons expended their high school eligibility — I would say McStudersons are prone to graduate, but Jim Harbaugh might yell at me — and moved on to other pursuits. Without those talents to light up the scoreboard, Tecumseh football began a slide that eventually sent the football coach out the door.

Fortunately for the black and orange, the arrival of a new coach signaled the start of a new chapter in Tecumseh football this season. Unfortunately for photographers, videographers and almost everyone else who enjoys being able to follow a football game, the new coach installed an overwhelmingly high schoolesque offensive scheme that hearkens back to the days when the forward pass was an act of rebellion. Those of you familiar with high school football likely are familiar with the scheme: it features one quarterback (who functions as more of a football vending machine than anything else), three running backs, five offensive linemen and two tight ends. And no wide receivers. Ever. (Unless one of the tight ends happens to be particularly oversized and has good hands. But I think that’s a different sort of wide.)

For comparison, if transferred to a hasty Photoshop diagram, on any given play, Chelsea’s offense might look something like this:

Meanwhile, on pretty much every play, the Tecumseh offense looks a lot like this:

With infrequent exceptions, offensive plays from this scheme tend to follow this progression:

  1. The center snaps the ball.
  2. The quarterback turns around and waves the ball at each of the three running backs.
  3. One of the running backs actually takes the ball and almost immediately makes a sharp turn into the offensive line and disappears in a cocoon that, since it consists of both offensive and defensive players, is at once protective and harmful. (Metaphysically-inclined football players struggle in this offense, since they tend to be distracted by that delicious contradiction.)
  4. The cocoon moves three to five yards down the field and stops, at which point the officials, who are desperately trying to see anything other than a mass of bodies, blow the whistle under the assumption that the ball carrier either is down or has been consumed by ravenous linemen. Either way, the play is over, so blowing it dead is the safe move.
  5. Rinse. Repeat.

Most exceptions occur when the offense executes a play that is actually designed to send the ball carrier to the mysterious land beyond the tight ends, and a few exceptions even happen to involve that nifty forward pass thing the kids are all talking about nowadays, but most plays end with a pile of 22 players in the middle of the field. Unless something goes horribly right (or wrong, depending on your perspective), in which case the pile of 22 players ends up in the wilderness outside the hash marks.

This offense has its advantages, one of which is that defensive players not in possession of x-ray vision — so, you know, all of them — may have a hard time seeing who has the ball, so they are in danger of tackling players who aren’t carrying the ball. (Aside from being obnoxious, this also gets to be a bit taxing.) Of course, this offense also has its disadvantages, one of which is that the most realistically successful options for third and 15 all involve punting. (In the CFL, that joke wouldn’t be funny. Look out for those goalposts! They’re in the end zone!)


Chelsea football players do not have a fear of commitment.


Was I lying on the ground? Yes. Why? I don’t remember.

Last Friday, Tecumseh brought its ploddingly thrilling new offense to the new Jerry Niehaus turf with the intent of pulling an upset the likes of which the football world hasn’t seen since the last two Saturdays. (Don’t throw things at me; I’m a Michigan fan.) And for a while, it seemed the Indians might have the chance to do just that. Chelsea’s offense moved up and down the field with the usual greatest of ease, but Tecumseh managed to find the end zone at the same rate; at one point, the score was an uncomfortably close 14-12, with Tecumseh’s complete and utter lack of a kicking game — every touchdown was followed by a two-point attempt — providing the meager two-point lead. The assumption was that Chelsea would eventually build a comfortable margin, but … well, you know, [cynical Michigan football comment].


Jason Kolokithas will fight to the death to protect the ball carrier. Your death.


Michael Roberts feels the rain on his skin. No one else can feel it for him.


Kyle Raymond opens for no one. Not even sesame.


No, Jeff Adams will not give you a hug. He has an urgent appointment with the end zone.


John Mann speaks during the turf dedication ceremony.


Oh, they grow up so fast!

To the delight of Chelsea loyalists, that assumption actually proved to be correct; Tecumseh’s side of the scoreboard stayed static for a good long time, while Chelsea’s side remained happily dynamic. Not long after Tecumseh narrowed the deficit to two, Chelsea quarterback Jeff Adams once again lofted a deep pass into the waiting arms of Chris Schmelz, who, like Dash from The Incredibles, occasionally forgets to conceal his superhuman speed and finds himself running past entire defenses full of slow-footed mortals; Schmelz, of course, took the pass to the end zone to increase Chelsea’s lead to nine. The Chelsea offense went on to reduce coach Brad Bush’s stress level even more: Nick Hill and Adams both scored to pad the lead to a considerably more comfortable 35-12, and the game was practically over.


You dare lay a hand on Chris Schmelz? No, your hand is not fast enough.

Of course, “practically over” is not the same as “actually over,” a point Tecumseh did its best to illustrate by never giving up and never surrendering. After some mildly uninspiring play from the Bulldogs — including a lost fumble on the first play of a drive — and an Indian touchdown that wasn’t preceded by the typical ten-minute drive, the momentum was swinging back in Tecumseh’s direction, and the scoreboard displayed a somewhat less comfortable 35-20 Chelsea lead with far too much time left in the fourth quarter. But a Nick Hill touchdown — his fourth of the evening — pushed the lead to 41-20 and effectively sealed the victory for Chelsea. (Tecumseh did score another late touchdown, but it was not relevant to the game’s outcome.)


Taylor Hopkins (7) believes he can fly. He believes he can touch the sky.


Donny Riedel deigns to allow himself to be tackled, but only after a 10 yard gain.

Leftovers:

  • Chelsea’s leading rusher has the last name of Hill; Tecumseh’s leading rusher has the last name of Hill; unsurprisingly, running backs named Hill scored six out of the ten touchdowns on Friday. Tecumseh’s Hill outgained Chelsea’s Hill 159 to 80, but the former also carried the ball 28 times for a per-carry average of 5.6, while the latter carried only six times for a per-carry average of 13.3. Also, Chelsea’s Hill scored four touchdowns (three rushing, one receiving), while Tecumseh’s Hill scored two. Since Tecumseh operates a thoroughly run-oriented offense, his high carry total is to be expected; still, 5.6ypc is a healthy average. For Chelsea, Hill’s workload and output were below normal, but his rate of scoring was more than healthy.
  • Underscoring the runrunrunrunrunrunrunrun Tecumseh offense are the passing statistics: Tecumseh’s quarterback attempted only seven passes and completed four, while Adams attempted 20 and completed 11. However, Tecumseh’s completions were effective; the four completions went for 97 yards and a touchdown. Adams’ 11 completions went for 185 yards and two touchdowns.
  • Perhaps most interesting are the total offensive output statistics: Tecumseh actually outgained Chelsea by 15 yards (391 to 376) and two first downs (15 to 13).
  • An intermittent rain persisted through much of the first half of the game; it was less consistent than the rain during the Ypsi game, but it was enough to moisten everyone’s towelette. The rain stopped by halftime, but just a few minutes into the third quarter, the officials halted the game due to lightning. The voltage never struck too close to the field, but it was close enough that the delay lasted almost two hours. Fortunately, they were able to restart the game not too long after 10:00.
  • Early in the third quarter, Chelsea’s Stu Mann went down with an injury. Injuries in and of themselves are not unusual, but from afar, this particular injury looked frighteningly serious; Mann did not appear to be moving at all for perhaps five minutes. Fortunately, it was not serious; Mann walked off the field under his own power and even came back to play the rest of the game after the lightning delay. But it is always terrifying to see a player who does not appear to be moving.
  • The turf dedication ceremony occurred at halftime on Friday. It wasn’t complicated; all the donors gathered on the field, the man who spearheaded the fundraising effort gave a brief speech, and the players thanked the donors for their support of Chelsea football. I was hoping the donors would run a brief scrimmage, too, just to test the turf, but it was not in the plans. Maybe next time.
  • Friday was also Future Bulldog night; all the seventh- and eighth-grade players were on the field for the pregame, and they received a bit of the spotlight at halftime.
  • Thursday’s freshmen and JV games featured an officiating crew that had a propensity to blow whistles in the middle of plays for no real reason; I noticed two such instances, and I was later informed that there were a few more I missed. It certainly was a unique officiating philosophy. Does anyone out there know of a circumstance in which an official could actually stop a play? (I’m not talking about false start or other pre-snap dead ball penalties; these plays were stopped when the ball carrier was a few yards down the field and was not yet on the ground.)

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Maples of Adrian; the game is in Adrian on Friday at 7:00 PM.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 2 vs. Bedford

JV: d. by Bedford 27-47; 1-1 (0-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Bedford 13-29; 1-1 (0-1 SEC)

2007 Chelsea Varsity Football record: 2-0 (1-0 SEC)


Is Nick Avila really that big? Science has yet to answer that question.


For the players, the sign says “AESLEHC SGODLLUB.” Apparently that’s exciting.


Big Brothers are watching you. But only if you’re playing.


The new turf under the lights.

When the SEC reorganized after the departure of Pinckney and Milan, several new teams joined the conference; one of those teams was Bedford. I have always been wary of that school, but my wariness has nothing to do with their Kicking Mule mascot or their mildly nauseating Notre Dame fight song; no, I am wary of Bedford because of their all-too-distinct Ohio flavor. See, Bedford is located just a few miles north of the Ohio border, and when I travel there for football games, I begin to wonder if I didn’t accidentally drive too far south; between the red and gray uniforms on the field and the distressingly common Ohio State apparel in the stands — not to mention the occasional Ohio license plate in the parking lot — a trip to Bedford feels very much like a trip to Ohio, which is not a trip Michigan fans make for fun.

Bedford is a wrestling-crazed school, so over the last decade, their football teams have ranged from mildly competitive to not so competitive; since Chelsea’s teams have ranged from good to very good over the same time period, Bedford hasn’t managed to collect a victory over Chelsea at the varsity level. There have been a few years Bedford has put up a fight, but there have been other years that have been downright ugly. One of those ugly years occurred a few years ago, when Bedford provided one of my all-time favorite football sequences: thanks to a comedy of sacks and major penalties, the Kicking Mules managed to convert a first and goal into a fourth and goal from the 45 yard line. No kidding. It is the only time I can remember seeing a team forced to punt on fourth and goal.

This year, there was no fourth and goal from the 45, but that was primarily because the Bedford offense had trouble gaining even a single first down. In the first game on the new turf, the Chelsea defense smothered Bedford, holding the Kicking Mules to 13 yards and no first downs in the first half; by the end of the game, they managed to accumulate only seven first downs. In their first game, the Bedford offense had piled up yardage on the way to a victory, but the Chelsea defense wasn’t particularly interested in boosting Bedford’s 2007 offensive resume.

To show its gratitude for the defense’s hard work, the Chelsea offense scored four touchdowns on five first-half possessions; three were Nick Hill rushing touchdowns, and the other was a Jeff Adams touchdown pass. By the time the offense was done being excessively efficient, the game was well in hand for Chelsea; by halftime, every last trace of suspense was pounded to bits and mixed with the rubber pellets in the turf.


Under the watchful eyes of most of his coaches, Jeff Adams eludes a tackler.


Chris Schmelz made this leaping catch, but it was called back on a penalty.


In Chelsea, we like to keep our pants on. Here, Michael Lenneman works to maintain that standard.


Nick Hill laughs at your misguided attempts to tackle him.

That complete lack of suspense meant that everyone else got to play; Chelsea’s second teams got extensive playing time in the second half. And by “extensive,” I mean “all of it.” Backup quarterback Randy Cox got to attempt 16 passes (and complete 10 of them); backup running back Riley Feeney got to run free, as free as the wind blows for 70 yards; the backup defense got do all that fun stuff defenses get to do, like hit people and tackle ball carriers. And eventually, after the teams traded second-half touchdowns, Chelsea ambled off the field with a 34-7 victory.


Riley Feeney looks confused by the absence of defenders.

Leftovers:

  • Three SEC schools now have turf fields: Pioneer, Saline and Chelsea. However, Chelsea is the only one of the three not to have permanent lines for other sports on the turf. Visually, it’s a relief; fields with lines for multiple sports are cluttered and considerably less appealing, and Chelsea is fortunate to be able to have only football markings on the field. However, if the field is needed for other sports, those sports are not out of luck: to add the necessary lines, there is a powder that can be applied to the turf and washed off after the event.
  • Akel Marshall, the longtime voice of Chelsea football and basketball, has given up the microphone. High school sports fans encounter a wide range of announcers, from the not bad to the very bad; Chelsea fans have been fortunate to have Marshall’s consistent, evenhanded announcing for so many years. Thanks, Akel. (Now behind the football microphone is football stat guru Jason Morris. Thus far, he is proving to be a very capable successor.)

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Indians of Tecumseh; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM. Also, the new turf will be dedicated.

[Expletive deleted]

On Saturday morning, I drove toward Ann Arbor with a sense of anticipation; the sun was shining, the sky was a beautiful blue, college football was beginning yet again, and I was going to Michigan’s opening game. It was a good day, and I, like most other Michigan fans, assumed it would end well, too.

On my walk to the stadium, I noticed that the general atmosphere seemed to be a bit subdued; it struck me as odd because even when the opening game isn’t a marquee matchup (which is, of course, nearly every year), the atmosphere is usually festive simply because football is back. But this time, gameday didn’t have that feel; compared to other opening games, the atmosphere felt almost bored. But it didn’t seem too relevant, and really, I was too excited to dwell on that thought.

As I stood outside the stadium gates engaging in some always-entertaining people-watching, I discovered that even Appalachian State fans seemed to assume the day would end well for Michigan. As he threw away the remains of his meal, one ASU fan jokingly told a few nearby Michigan fans that his NCAA-champion Mountaineers wouldn’t “run up the score too badly.” Everybody laughed, and I couldn’t help but smile as I headed toward the stadium.

Kickoff came and went, Michigan scored an early touchdown, and our assumption of casual victory began to look like it was coming true. But then ASU scored on a big play that made Michigan’s defense look like it had started the party a few hours too early, and the scoreboard didn’t look like we all thought it should. Michigan scored another touchdown, and we thought perhaps this was a sign of things to come; yet again, we were wrong. ASU marched down the field and tied the score again, and everyone who wasn’t euphorically black and gold was perplexed. Michigan wasn’t in control, and ASU wasn’t just collecting a six-figure payout and enjoying the scenery; Michigan was playing like their uniforms and meaningless #5 ranking guaranteed a win, and ASU was playing like they actually wanted to win. And two touchdowns later, they weren’t just playing like they wanted to win; they were playing like they would win.

Somewhere around halftime, my brother-in-law sent me a text message asking for the score. “28-17 ASU,” I responded. And since I thought he might not believe me, I continued: “I am not kidding.” His response echoed my own thoughts: “What the?!”

In the second half, Michigan finally seemed to be coming out of its coma; the defense did its job a few times, and the offense reciprocated, and suddenly ASU held a relatively paltry 31-26 lead. And then Mike Hart, playing with an intensity and desire that was clearly and beautifully evident even to those of us in the very last row, set the crowd on fire with a thrilling 54-yard touchdown that gave Michigan the lead for the first time since the first quarter. All of a sudden, despite the previously abundant misery, and despite the shockingly subpar play from the Wolverines, victory seemed more than possible; in the light of Hart’s obvious determination to win the game with or without his teammates, it seemed almost likely.

When the Michigan defense forced a late interception, victory seemed even closer. The offense managed to gain a first down or two, and we began to breathe a collective sigh of relief; the nightmare, it seemed, had been averted. The upset would have to wait. But we should have known better; we should have remembered the misery of the first half. The game was not over. Oh, the game was not over.

After those falsely-encouraging first downs, the offense started taking penalties. They were just irritating little minor penalties, like delay of game and false start, but they brought the offense to a halt; that brought the kicking unit onto the field to stretch the one-point lead to four. And that would have been wonderful, except the kicking unit managed to have the kick blocked, thereby causing thousands of Michigan fans to experience severe pain as they remembered the gaping void between Hayden Epstein’s departure and Garrett Rivas’ arrival. (Except the multi-headed kicking monster typically eschewed the excitement of blocked kicks, instead opting for the relative banality of wide left, wide right and way short.)

Prior to the kick of insufficient altitude, the defense had shown encouraging signs of understanding basic defensive concepts like “coverage” and “tackling”; this made the blocked kick seem less disastrous. But just as the offense had relapsed into its first-half self, so did the defense slip back into its nasty habit of attempting to trade land for peace, and it didn’t take long for ASU to make its way into position for a very, very short field goal. Naturally, because they were not having flashbacks to the Brabbs/Nienburg era, the field goal was good. But strangely, they had opted not to run down the clock before the kick, so there was a faint glimmer of hope.

That hope grew from a faint glimmer to what seemed to be a blinding searchlight when, on third and long, Chad Henne found Mario Manningham deep in ASU territory with six seconds left. We in the crowd had already traveled from despair to hope to joy and back to despair, and the unlikely completion that put Michigan in prime position to kick a game-winning field goal took us immediately from despair to elation. All that frustration could be offset by the victory that would be sealed by one kick.

Victory was indeed sealed by one kick, but it wasn’t Michigan’s kick; just like the previous attempt, that was blocked. Instead, the game-winning field goal belonged to ASU.

As I made my way back to my car, I found myself in the midst of not an angry crowd, but a purely stunned crowd. The moment the game was announced, nearly everyone marked it as a win; Oregon and Notre Dame were considered potentially dangerous non-conference games, but ASU was seen as the walkoverest of walkovers. So when Michigan ended up wearing the footprints, no one seemed to know how to react.

Of course, I knew the sports-watching public was already being inundated by the inevitable hysteria of ESPN and its ilk. No matter what else happened, ASU’s defeat of Michigan had to be the ad nauseam lead story everywhere; sports media adores events they can call historical, and without a doubt, they would adore the stuffing out of Michigan’s loss. Every halftime show, every Sportscenter, every local news sportscast would be talking about it.

But remarkably, when I got home, I found that the hysteria of the sports media was being overshadowed by a larger hysteria. The loss, along with the constant Biggest Upset Ever In The History Of Sports coverage, had driven many Michigan bloggers and commenters — particularly the latter — completely overboard. The shock of the loss had worn off, and the fan base was practically apoplectic. There was rage directed at every possible target of blame, starting with Lloyd Carr and ending anywhere and everywhere. Some fans swore off Michigan football, saying they would sell the rest of their tickets for this year; others even discussed burning the clothes they wore to the game. The Michigan fan base had taken the excessive Biggest Upset Ever concept to an entirely new level, where the loss to ASU suddenly became a horrifying tragedy that not only mangled the 2007 season beyond repair, but threatened to destroy over 100 years of Michigan football tradition.

As I watched the meltdown and the hyperbolic media coverage, I found the target of my irritation changing. At first, I was focused on the loss; however, the more hysterical the meltdown became and the more ESPN and its sheep branded it the biggest upset ever, the more I became irritated at the unnecessarily distraught fans and the media. What had started out as an upset had become a tragedy thanks to the unmitigated overreaction following the game.

The more I heard about the catastrophe of Michigan’s defeat, the more I became convinced that the upset was being significantly exaggerated; though ASU’s victory was an upset, there is a team on Michigan’s 2007 schedule that could pull a more significant upset: Eastern Michigan.

I know, I know; EMU is 1-A. But what does that prove? While EMU is a lowly 1-A team, ASU is the best team in Division 1-AA. That is not an insignificant accomplishment; it is not like saying they are the best Arena Football League team or the best minor league baseball team; it is not like saying they are the best JV football team. This is a highly-talented, well-coached team that is not just capable of playing very good football, but is fully capable of beating a number of 1-A football teams, including EMU. Contrary to the knee-jerk divisional arrogance now on display, football with an extra A isn’t automatically one step below 1-A football; in fact, the top end of 1-AA football would slot solidly in the middle of 1-A.

From that perspective, ASU’s victory is the Biggest Upset Ever not because the quality of football at the 1-AA level is uniformly inferior, but merely because of that extra A. Sports media gets to hype some sort of alleged biggest ever while fans get to express depression or jubilation because Michigan lost to a 1-AA team, but all the historical declaration and exaggerated emotions are based on an extra A and a lazy approach that treats all of 1-AA as a big JV division. Michigan lost to a 1-AA team, but that team is the equivalent of at least a decent MAC team, and the reaction to this loss has been far more hysterical than any reaction to a loss at the hands of one of those decent MAC teams.

This is in no way an effort to downplay ASU’s victory as an upset; it was an upset, and for Michigan, it was a bad loss that never should have happened. But it is not astoundingly historical in a truly meaningful sense, it is not disastrous or catastrophic, and it is not the end of Michigan’s season. Let me say it again: the loss is not the end of Michigan’s season. There are eleven more games to win, there is a conference title to win, and there will be a bowl game to win.

So, with the ASU game in the past, I have a request to make of my temporarily irrational fellow Michigan fans: stop being a part of the hysteria problem. Drop the suicidal overreactions and the absurd calls for a mid-season coaching change; start getting ready for next Saturday, and the ten Saturdays after that. The mourning period is over, but the season isn’t.

Go Blue.

Photo of the Variable Time Period, vol. 123

For your birthday, I got you a few thousand words (25 August 2007).

Last Saturday, I photographed a birthday party in Chelsea.  Fortunately, as the first picture shows, the weather for the party was vastly different from the weather we had for the football game earlier in the day.

Commitment to Excellence: Week 1 vs. Ypsilanti

JV: d. Ypsilanti 17-14; 1-0 (0-0 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Gibraltar Carlson 53-0; 1-0 (0-0 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 1-0 (0-0 SEC)

For the third consecutive year, Chelsea opened its football season as a participant in the Big Day Prep Showdown at Eastern Michigan University. This year, on a mostly cloudy and thoroughly rainy Saturday morning, the Bulldogs faced head coach Brad Bush’s old school: Ypsilanti.

Early in the game, both teams struggled to gain yardage; Chelsea managed to come up with one big scoring play (a 68-yard run by Chris Schmelz), and shortly thereafter, Ypsilanti answered with a quick pass-dominated scoring drive of its own (capped by a 24-yard touchdown pass). But aside from those rare moments of offensive glory, defense reigned.

In fact, at one point, defense put a big scare into the Bulldogs. On a short-yardage play, Chelsea quarterback Jeff Adams ran a quarterback sneak. And it was going well until Adams’ midsection sneaked right into a big hit from Ypsi linebacker Quetzalcaoatl Carrasco, who regularly terrorizes not only opposing offensive players, but also stadium announcers and newspaper editors everywhere. Adams immediately crumpled to the ground and stopped moving; obviously, this caused significant concern among the Chelsea faithful.


Was I not sneaky enough, coach?

Fortunately, Adams was not injured; the collision with Carrasco only knocked the wind out of him. He walked off the field, and after sitting out one play, he returned with a steely determination never again to run upright into collisions with hard-hitting linebackers. Particularly those with names that would frighten spelling bee champions. But his steely determination did not immediately translate into more points, so Chelsea took an 8-7 deficit into halftime.


Chris Schmelz (left), here handing the ball to Nick Hill, started the scoring for Chelsea.

When the third quarter began, it looked to be more of the same; however, just a few minutes into the quarter, Ypsi’s Studly Stud McStuderson, Marvon Sanders — who, like a football Hank Azaria, plays a number of different positions (in Sanders’ case, five) — discovered that brushing twice a day with remarkable athletic talent does not prevent penalty flag decay. Thanks to a late hit on Chelsea’s Donny Riedel, Sanders received his second personal foul penalty of the game, and two such penalties is the limit. (He received his first for unnecessary post-whistle activities on Chelsea’s only kickoff of the first half.) So, not even halfway into the third quarter, Ypsi’s best player was done for the game.

Chelsea took immediate advantage of that gaping hole in the Purple Penalty Eaters’ lineup; two plays after Sanders’ premature exit, Adams lofted a 38-yard touchdown pass to Schmelz, who, it seems, had managed to recover from his previous touchdown enough to run past Ypsi’s abruptly Sandersless defensive secondary. (Normally, Sanders would have been on the field as a cornerback — one of his five positions — and with his level of talent, he almost certainly would have had a hand in that play.) One missed extra point later, Chelsea held a 13-8 lead.

Ah, but Sanders’ absence was not yet done toying with the Braves. He also happened to be the kick returner, and on the subsequent kickoff, his replacement committed a somewhat severe error in judgment: he caught the ball on the 1-yard line as his momentum was carrying him out of bounds. Had he let the ball go, there were two superior potential outcomes: either the ball would travel into the end zone, resulting in a touchback, or the ball would travel out of bounds, resulting in a Chelsea penalty. Instead, he caught it, and he gave his team the ball in a very difficult position.

When the Ypsi offense took the field in that difficult position, it, too, felt Sanders’ absence; he was their best receiver and their biggest offensive threat. And, given horrendous field position without its biggest weapon, the Ypsi offense failed to make a first down, thereby giving its punter the mildly stressful task of kicking from his own end zone.

Of course, even the punting unit went through Sanders withdrawal, and since he was the punter, the withdrawal was severe indeed. In an inexplicable move, the backup punter attempted to punt on the run; perhaps due to the three Chelsea defenders closely inspecting his wardrobe, his attempt morphed into innovative futility. The first half of his punt — dropping the ball — occurred without complication, but the second half of his punt — contacting the ball with his foot — never happened, and his punt turned into a fumble. As you might have guessed, the outcome didn’t favor the punter; Chelsea recovered the ball for another touchdown, and after another missed extra point, Chelsea held a 19-8 lead.

After that series of events, Ypsi lost all confidence and Chelsea lost all fear, and the game became a journey to an increasingly obvious outcome. Adams demonstrated a full recovery by running and throwing for a combined 158 yards; sophomore Nick Hill overcame a fairly quiet first half to accumulate 126 yards and a touchdown, as well as one thoroughly enjoyable leap over a fallen offensive lineman.


Jeff Adams (2), learning from his mistake, avoids a direct hit from Carrasco (11).

Nick Hill (32) runs like the wind. A short, powerful wind that cuts well and hits hard.

On the other side of the ball, Ypsi managed to make one more relevant threat, but the defense held them scoreless until garbage time late in the fourth quarter, giving Chelsea a 26-14 victory.


Taylor Hopkins (7), here defending the run, was on the receiving end of Sanders’ first penalty.

With the win, Chelsea improved to 2-1 in its three years of participating in the Showdown.

Leftovers:

  • Sanders is, without a doubt, one of the best football players in the area, and when he was actually playing football, he was fun to watch. But it quickly became apparent that he has an attitude that is all too capable of overshadowing his outstanding physical talents, which is why he was fun to watch only when he was actually playing football. His (at least partially) attitude-driven ejection hurt his team in many ways, and if I am correctly informed, it will hurt his team again next week because the ejection will force him to sit out another game. (This is not unusual; soccer players who receive red cards must sit out a game, too.) He is a significant asset when he is simply playing football, but without changes in his attitude and behavior, he runs the risk of being just as much of a liability as he is an asset.
  • Also on the inescapable subject of Sanders, attentive readers will note that I listed only four positions in the game narrative. His five positions are: wide receiver, cornerback, kick returner, punter, placekicker.
  • For the first two years of the Showdown, Chelsea was given prime-time placement for its games against Novi; this year, Chelsea was given the 11:45 AM Saturday time slot. Having experienced both, I prefer the prime-time games.
  • Nick Hill was named Chelsea’s MVP, and he accepted the award from former Detroit Lion Robert Porcher. I got the opportunity to shake Porcher’s hand after the game, and I can say without hesitation that Porcher is a lot bigger than I am. Also, he’s very pleasant.
  • During the game, I made the enormously stupid mistake of climbing the stadium steps to get to the press box. Take it from me: there are a lot of steps. Just use the elevator.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Kicking Mules of Temperance Bedford; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM.