Monthly Archives: October 2006

Modern patience; Injured reserve, inanimate division; If you build it…

1)Patience for the younger generation
At the University of Michigan hospital, a sign warns visitors:

Response to alarms is immediate.
Please be patient.

2)Michigan’s Hart fined for late hit on yard marker
The Free Press updated fans on Mike Hart’s health after the Northwestern game:

Carr said Mike Hart broke the sideline marker when he fell on it during the Northwestern game, suffering an injured back. But Carr said he expects Hart’s back to be fine. He did not give an update on the marker.

3)Tigers plan new unobtrusive suburban stadium; home plate to be a tree in the front yard, with first base being a suitable object out of the neighbor’s garage
One particular enthusiastic Tigers fan discovered a creative way to adorn his property according to his sports loyalty: he contacted a firm that paints field graphics, and he had them paint the Olde English D on his front yard.

In every game, be this our aim, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y: week 10 vs. Carleton Airport

Chelsea High School Football record through week 10: 21-7 (1-0 week 10; 15-6 SEC; 1-0 playoffs).

It was a wet week in Chelsea, capped by a relentlessly rainy Friday night.  The heaviest rain fell in the first half, but the rain never stopped, making for a wet, cold, muddy night for everyone.

The field was so wet and fragile that Carleton’s white away jerseys were muddy before the game started; by the end of the game, most Carleton players matched the field.

The deteriorating playing surface slowed both offenses and caused a number of ball-handling problems, but by the second quarter, Chelsea managed to build a 14-0 lead.  It looked as though the Bulldogs would be able to handle the Jets — until Carleton capitalized on a turnover late in the first half to trim the lead to 14-7.

The home fans became even more concerned when the Jets scored a quick third-quarter touchdown; a botched extra point left Chelsea with a slim 14-13 lead.  However, the Bulldog defense stiffened, holding the Jets scoreless after that touchdown.  And in the fourth quarter, on a fourth down inside the Carleton ten yard line, Adams threw with a touchdown pass to McClendon; the Rhodes extra point provided the final score, 21-13.  (After struggles in previous games, Rhodes was at home in the inclement weather: he was 3 for 3 on extra points.)

This season, Chelsea has been raising funds to pay for the installation of artificial turf at Jerry Niehaus Field; Friday night’s mudbath might have helped that fundrasing effort.  The grass at Niehaus was a bit battered prior to the Carleton game, and it could not take the abuse of a rainy game after a wet week.  By the fourth quarter, there were large patches of mud, along with some puddles of water; the soupy field ended up contributing to countless bobbled or fumbled snaps.

To make matters interesting, Chelsea’s victory meant the downtrodden Niehaus grass will host a second playoff game when Gibraltar Carlson comes to town.  The grounds crew has one week to tend to the wounded field — and one week to hope the weather cooperates enough to let the field dry.

On a lighter note, it was fun to watch the quarterbacks throw the ball.  The poor conditions did not afford much grip, so for most passes longer than a few yards, the quarterbacks had to catapult the ball forward.  It resulted in a number of passes that gained no style points, but some of the passes did find a receiver — in Chelsea’s case, just enough for the win.

Photo of the Variable Time Period, vol. 24

Mud wrestling (27 October 2006).

Rain fell throughout Chelsea’s first-round playoff game against Carleton Airport, leaving the natural grass field battered and muddy. The grass is slated to be replaced with artificial turf after the season, but the grounds crew still has another week’s worth of work on its hands: after the Bulldogs’ 21-13 victory, Jerry Niehaus Field will host a second-round playoff game.

Rotors and pads sold separately

A Kansas car dealer’s recent web advertisement featured a new Dodge vehicle: the Caliper.

The picture implies that the dealer is actually selling the Dodge Caliber; the text could be a typo, or it could mean they’ll sell you a Dodge vehicle one part at a time.

It was not immediately apparent whether the dealer offers a discount on purchases of four Calipers.

I’m gently tagging you in my mind

In another move to eliminate all potential sources of perceived harm to children, U.S. schools are beginning to ban tag. The game. The one that, apparently, has damaged millions of children in previous generations. But now, thankfully, we know better: physical activity that involves actual minor physical contact is deeply harmful to children.

Wait, no, strike that. Actually, schools are banning tag not out of fear of injuries, but out of fear of lawsuits spawned by injuries. It seems bumps and bruises scare school adminstrators largely because they may be accompanied by an angry parent’s lawyer.

To alleviate this fear of parents, administrators are requiring kids to develop a non-contact version of game. That’s right: non-contact tag. “What we require is that children do not touch each other,” said one principal.

In the wake of non-contact tag, other games are being altered for safety:

  • Baseball will no longer include bats or baserunners
  • Four-square players must first obtain permission from the other players before releasing the ball
  • Hide-and-seek will require hiding players to remain in plain sight
  • Basketball will feature baskets no more than 2.5 feet above the floor, and players’ movement and shooting may in no way be impeded by other players (per NBA rules)
  • Flag football will be replaced by Madden 2007

The Beta system may have been better on paper, too

In reference to five-game series in the first round of the MLB playoffs, pitcher Tom Glavine had an odd comment:

“A seven-game series creates an atmosphere where, most of the time, the better team is going to win,” Glavine says.

“In the best-of-five, there is way too much of a chance the better team will not win.”

Isn’t the purpose of the series to determine the better team?  The team that wins the required number of games is the better team.

The problem is that Glavine’s definition of “better” is not readily apparent in his comment.  Perhaps Glavine has formulated a superior method of choosing the better team, thus rendering playoff games antiquated.  If so, it shouldn’t be too long before Bud Selig changes the playoffs to the Glavine System.

In the meantime, despite Glavine’s mindset, let’s continue to enjoy the wonderful uncertainty of the playoffs.  After all, Glavine should know as well as anyone that apparent superiority on paper doesn’t actually prove the better team; in the playoffs, only wins prove the better team.  Anything else is simply an opinion.

Just ask the Yankees and the Mets.

My contribution to our decline is not my fault

Due to an accelerated decline in enrollment, Detroit has sent layoff notices to 430 teachers; those who received the notices will work until 18 December.

While this should be no surprise to anyone who observed the strike at the beginning of ths school year, union president Janna Garrison seems oddly indignant.

“It’s shortsighted and cruel for the district to play these kinds of games.  We’re going to lay the responsibility on (the district’s) shoulders,” she said.

She went on to criticize the district for its treatment of the teachers, saying, “The district doesn’t seem to be concerned what impact this has on its employees.”

It is curious that Garrison would accuse the district of being unconcerned about the impact of its actions.  When they forced the cancellation of school, the striking teachers did not seem to be concerned with the impact of their actions on the district or the students. 

The district was never blameless in the contract dispute, but the teachers made the decision to strike; without a doubt, the strike hurt a district already in decline.  In this situation, layoffs are not an ignoble retaliatory response.  In fact, considering its shrinking funding, it would be irresponsible for the district not to reduce its payroll.

If anything was “shortsighted and cruel,” it was the strike.  If the teachers believed layoffs would not occur in the wake of the strike’s effects on enrollment, then it was not the district that was shortsighted; it was the teachers who, it seems, could not see past their outstretched hands.

In every game, be this our aim, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y: week 9 vs. Milan

Chelsea High School Football record through week 9: 20-7 (3-0 week 9; 15-6 SEC).

Chelsea’s 2006 quarterback saga took a different turn this week; Adams was able to come back from his injury to start week 9.  So now the second center is snapping to the second quarterback, and the receiver-turned-third-quarterback (receiverback?) is back where he started.

The games:
Both the freshmen and the JV ended their seasons with wins.  The JV got a boost from the return of their quarterback, Cox; Adams’ return for varsity meant Cox was no longer needed as a backup at that level.

Among the notable aspects of the JV game was Milan’s lack of discipline.  With about five minutes left in the fourth quarter and Chelsea leading by six, Milan faced a fourth and goal inside the one yard line; they failed to score.  That turned the ball over to Chelsea, but it left the Bulldogs in an unenviable first down from the half yard line.

That would have been very dangerous for the Chelsea offense, but Milan squandered that field position: well after the failed fourth down play, the side judge threw a flag for unsportsmanlike conduct on Milan.  So, instead of first down from the half yard line, it was first down from the fifteen.

It didn’t stop there.  Just a couple plays later, Milan was flagged for roughing the passer — another free fifteen yards.  And a couple plays after that penalty, Milan was again flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct, adding yet another fifteen free yards to Chelsea’s drive.  Shortly after the third major penalty, Chelsea capped the 99-yard drive with a game-sealing touchdown.

After the game, the Milan parents were audibly displeased, feeling the officials handed the game to Chelsea, but Milan handed that final touchdown to Chelsea with three unnecessary penalties.  Nearly half that drive — 45 out of 99 yards — consisted of those three major Milan penalties.  Victory demands discipline, and Milan did not demonstrate discpline on that drive.

Also notable in the JV game were Milan’s fourth-down attempts.  Four times on fourth and two or shorter, Chelsea stopped Milan, including that crucial fourth and goal late in the game.  Oddly enough, Milan did manage to convert a fourth and nine, but on fourth and short, the Chelsea defense was remarkably stout.

As previously noted, the varsity entered the Milan game with Adams back under center, and Milan entered the game with a 4-4 record, perhaps giving the Bulldog faithful high expectations.  Those expectations were shaken early: well into the fourth quarter, neither team controlled the game.  The lead changed hands several times, and the Milan offense seemed to have little trouble moving the ball.

In the fourth quarter, Chelsea seemed to stop the back and forth scoring, finally gaining a two-score lead.  But the game was meant to be stressful to the end; Milan quickly marched down the field to narrow the gap to four points.  Poor field position after the kickoff left Chelsea fans nervous, but Chelsea’s offense, keyed by an Adams pass, a Hill run and an Adams run, gained first downs and ran the clock to zero, giving the Bulldogs a hard-fought 33-29 victory.

On Sunday, the playoff pairings were announced; players and their families gathered to learn that they would be hosting Carleton Airport (7-2) in the first round.

After the playoff announcement, both coach Brad Bush and athletic director Wayne Welton had the same message: enjoy the ride.  We here in Chelsea have become accustomed to winning; the program has an outstanding streak of playoff appearances.  But Bush and Welton cautioned the players and parents not to take it for granted: wins and playoff appearances aren’t guaranteed.  Enjoy the wins when you get them.