Category Archives: Sports

Photo of the Basketball Now: 21 February 2012

Lincoln traveled to Chelsea for a basketball game.

Hey, have you noticed that while the rest of the modern world’s clothing has become less modest, basketball shorts have become more modest?

Okay, enough societal commentary. Here’s some basketball.

This was most definitely a foul:

Take a look at the Lincoln coach in this photo:

Is he:
A: Singing The Supremes’ classic hit Stop! In the Name of Love?
B: Halfway through Subway’s catchy Five-Dollar Footlong song?
C: Just looking for a high-five?
D: Telling his players not to shoot, but to kill time so they can have the last shot of the quarter?

If you guessed A, you think like me. SEEK HELP. But if you guessed D, you’re right. Oh, and if you have either one of those songs in your head: YOU’RE WELCOME.

At one point a Bulldog took a blow to the nose. No, no. He didn’t blow his nose. Read carefully. Remember, you should skim your pool, not your text. Okay, okay, fine, I’ll make it easier for you: he got hit in the nose.

He was able to return to the game, so either it wasn’t a substantial injury or he has the pain tolerance of an angry rhinoceros.

See? Here’s the angry rhinoceros trying to get a rebound:

Sometimes you just can’t jump high enough. There must be a life lesson in there somewhere.

The game came down to the last few seconds, but Lincoln was able to hit enough free throws to escape with a narrow victory.

Photo of the Rivalrypuck Now: 15 February 2012

Chelsea and Dexter met in hockey. Having won at Dexter — which is actually at Ann Arbor, but that’s a minor technicality — Chelsea was looking for a regular-season sweep of the Dreadnaughts, while Dexter was looking for the basic dignity of not having been swept.

Chelsea put together an early scoring chance that was thwarted only due to this penalty:

The resulting power play led to a goal.

The Dexter goalie took a moment to wave hello:

Oh, and he was making a save, too. Look in his glove.

As is generally the case in Chelsea/Dexter hockey games, there was plenty of hitting.

There may have been a few penalties, too.


Come on, ref. The statute of limitations expired on that penalty before I committed it. You can’t charge me with that.

One particular penalty was especially Chelsea/Dexterish. Dexter brought the puck into the zone, and a Chelsea defenseman decided to play defense. The Dreadnaught responded by putting the defenseman in a headlock, and…well, here. Take a look.

The defenseman didn’t think too much of that tactic.

There may have been a few words exchanged.

Thanks to my super-special long-range hearing — it’s my mutant ability — here’s the dialogue from that encounter:

Chelsea: I say, good sir, were you aware that your arm encircled my neck and forcibly removed my helmet?
Dexter: Indeed I was aware of this, my good man. In fact, that was my very intention.
C: I am shocked by this unforeseen revelation! What would cause you to show such disdain towards me? I thought I conducted myself quite honorably.
D: Frankly, I was offended by your deliberate refusal to grant me free access to the offensive zone. It caused me to conclude that you held some manner of personal grudge against me.
C: Why, I was unaware I had given you such an infelicitous impression! You are always welcome in my zone. Do accept my most sincere apologies.
D: Think nothing more of it! And likewise, do accept my most sincere apologies for my unseemly fit of violence. I will make an effort to better restrain my temper in the future.
C: Of course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this gentleman in the striped shirt has requested that I accompany him to the penalty box.
D: Ah, how regrettable! His colleague has made the same request of me. Let us hope our time of separate confinement is edifying.

I make no guarantees as to the accuracy of the above dialogue, but usually I get these things right.

After the penalties were sorted out, the game continued.

In the end, Dexter’s bid for dignity fell short, and Chelsea celebrated a regular-season sweep of its county rival.

Photo of the Rivalryball Game Now, Boys’ Edition: 10 February 2012

With the Chelsea/Dexter girls game concluded, the boys took the court to warm up for the second game of the evening. As the players were warming up, the student sections were preparing for their work.

What happens every year, you might be wondering? Well, here’s a hint: that’s a football player wearing the shirt. Also, the front of the shirt declared the number of Chelsea’s consecutive wins over Dexter in football. The quote appeared in the newspaper after the most recent meeting of the teams, but it wasn’t spoken to my editor as a response to a question. Instead, it was bellowed in the end zone — and within earshot of my editor — after a Chelsea touchdown.

As usual, the student sections were packed for the game.

The game started out well, but…it got lopsided. That’s all I’ll say about that.

The Chelsea students had a special plan for this particular game. If you’ve ever heard of Taylor University’s Silent Night, then you’re familiar with the plan. If not…watch this video. Seriously, watch it now. It’s one of the great traditions in sports. (Quick summary: the students pack the gym and dress in crazy costumes but remain silent until Taylor scores its 10th point, at which time they erupt. It’s fantastic. WATCH THE VIDEO.)

I didn’t shoot video of Chelsea’s Silent Night — I was shooting photos, you know — but it was a lot of fun.

Meanwhile, Dexter’s student section was up to its usual shenanigans.

As I mentioned, the game became a bit lopsided, so there wasn’t suspense like there was in the girls game. However, Dexter’s win gave them a sweep both of the varsity doubleheader and of the boys season series, so the Dreadnaughts were excited about that.

I posted the following photo on twitter with this statement: “This is a good photo. I hate it.”

Professionally, I like that photo. But personally…well, as a Chelsea guy I can’t stand seeing Chelsea lose to Dexter.

Photo of the Rivalryball Game Now, Girls’ Edition: 10 February 2012

The Dexter varsity basketball teams traveled to Chelsea for another varsity doubleheader. Like last time, the girls played first.

When last we saw these teams face each other, both girls teams were undefeated, and Chelsea walked away with a hard-fought victory. The second time around, Chelsea was still undefeated, but Dexter was coming off another loss. Still, a great deal of excitement surrounded the game.

The Chelsea student section got all social media-y with its sign:

Who is #gracemartin?

That’s #gracemartin.

Unlike the perpetually close game at Dexter, Chelsea managed to build a 10-point lead in the second half. However, Dexter found a way not just to close the gap, but to claim the lead as time wound down in the fourth quarter.

With a slim one-point lead, Dexter coach Mike Bavineau tried a different approach to exhorting his defense:

He was slapping the floor and yelling instructions or encouragement or something. I couldn’t understand what he was yelling, but I’m reasonably confident it wasn’t “I THINK (slap) WE SHOULD (slap) STOP FOR (slap) ICE CREAM AFTER (slap) THE GAME, OKAY?  (slap) I REALLY SHOULD (slap) GET HOME AND (slap) FINISH MY TAXES, BUT (slap) ICE CREAM SOUNDS GOOD (slap) RIGHT NOW.” It’s very likely he was yelling something very useful and coachy.

Despite his exhortation, the Dexter defense ceded a basket and the lead with under a minute to play. The Chelsea students were excited.

Their excitement was soon tempered by a Dexter basket with only a few seconds left to play. Chelsea found itself with one last shot to win, but this time the Dexter defense paid heed to Coach Bavineau’s slaps and held firm.

And, having brought an end to Chelsea’s bid for an undefeated season, there was much rejoicing.

Yes, much rejoicing.

Ah, but the evening was only half done: the boys took the court next. Come back Wednesday for those photos.

Photo of the Fire-Breathing Hockey Now: 7 February 2012

Chelsea hockey welcomed Lake Orion to town. It’s important to note that the Orion part of Lake Orion is pronounced OR-ee-un, and not o-RY-un like the constellation. Please adjust your mental pronunciation accordingly. If you’re reading this out loud to your loved ones, you may adjust your verbal pronunciation as well. Also, please tell your loved ones I say hi.

As you might expect, Lake Orion features a lake named Orion. Yes, that makes it the War of 1812 of town names. Come on, be nice. Anyway, LO also boasts a GM manufacturing plant and a mansion on whose grounds Amelia Earhart flew an experimental glider in 1929. Oh…and one more thing. Lake Orion has a dragon.

That’s the seriously wonderful Lake Orion High School Dragon logo on the shoulder of the hockey jersey. (Is that BLOOD dripping from its mouth? TELL ME IT’S BLOOD.) As a fan of meaningful and unusual high school mascots and logos, this one caught my eye right away. What I didn’t know until later is that there’s a story behind the mascot. From the town’s Wikipedia page:

The story of the Lake Orion Dragon says that sometime in the 1800s a group of local kids played a prank by building a fake dragon and launching it out in the lake. A number of people saw it and soon Lake Orion was known for its dragon. There are a number of stories around about who made it and how they built it but it is widely agreed that it was a prank.

Obviously the dragon is significant enough in the town’s lore to have become the high school’s mascot. That’s fantastic. Well done, Lake Orion.

Anyway: the Dragons showed up to play some hockey. Lake Orion has a solid hockey program, so the expectation was that it’d be a tough game. Indeed, that was the case.

It was clear from the beginning that Lake Orion is a very good team…but Chelsea isn’t exactly frozen liver, so the game stayed close. This made it hard on me: I like to alleviate the stress of a close game by talking to myself a little bit, but because I was sharing the Lake Orion penalty box with their backup goalie and standing right next to their bench, I had to keep my talking quiet and nonpartisan. That can be difficult — especially at moments like this:

I did keep quiet, though. I’m a professional. (When I need to be.)

Sometimes the goalpost is a goalie’s best friend. Sometimes…like this time:

Goalie shots like this can be a fun hockey version of Where’s Waldo in which you look for the puck:

Chelsea managed to find a couple goals in the third period:

Those goals propelled Chelsea to victory over Lake Orion.

Photo of the Itty-Bitty Hockey Players Now: 1 February 2012

Okay, just one last post from this hockey game. We covered the game itself and the unexpected physics lesson in the third period, but we haven’t yet covered perhaps the best part of the game: the itty-bitty hockey players who entertained the crowd between periods.

Tiny hockey players are wonderful. If you’ve never had the chance to watch kids skate, you’ve missed out. Do you think puppies are cute? HA! They can’t hold a candle to miniature hockey players. That’s partly because puppies don’t have opposable thumbs, but it’s also because they’re not as wonderful as kids on skates.

The entertainment after the first period featured a penalty shot exhibition.

The entertainment after the second period featured perhaps the most chaotic hockey game I’ve ever seen. They dropped the puck and let all the kids play at once. There had to be 20-30 kids chasing the puck!

A number of the kids stuck around for the third period, when they got to see a hit shatter a pane of glass. You can bet at least some of those kids went home more excited than ever about hockey.

Photo of the Did I Do Thaaaaaaat? Now: 1 February 2012

At the end of the last post I promised more photos from the Chelsea/Woodhaven hockey game. You promised to be suitably excited. (Yes you did. Don’t argue.) I’m fulfilling my promise. Are you?

Midway through the third period the game was heating up with some good action and a few solid hits. One particular hit brought the entire game to a halt. How? Well…here, take a look. I think you’ll figure it out.

That’s not a pile of diamonds dropped by some swashbuckling pirate who found himself confined in the penalty box, largely because diamond-carrying pirates don’t play hockey, you weirdo. No, those are the remains of the pane of glass — okay, fine, plexiglass — that shattered when a fine gentleman from Woodhaven gently nudged a fine gentleman from Chelsea into the glass. The fine gentleman from Woodhaven was censured by the authorities because he was a bit dilatory in the execution of his wallop, but there was a more pressing matter to be dealt with: there was a gaping hole where once there had been a pane of glass.

As the teams headed to the locker rooms, the first matter of business was to clean up that mess.

Yes, that mess. Cleanup involved several helpful folks.

It also involved shovels.

Even the man known as the Bulldog Clock Guy, the scoreboard operator for home Chelsea hockey games, pitched in.

Once the broken glass was out of the way, replacement glass arrived by special courier.

When the ref arrived with the glass, the other ref blew his whistle and penalized him for delay of pane. (That didn’t happen. But if it had, he would have been my favorite ref of all time.)

The crew started to install the glass…

…but soon discovered it was the wrong size: it was too large. Off they went to find another pane. Again they began to set the glass in place…

…and again they discovered it was the wrong size: it was too small. If my memories of children’s literature serve me right, the next pane should be juuuuuuust right. Right?

Oh, look! Here it comes now!

The crew again put the glass in place…

And…hey! It fit! It was filthy, but it fit.

If this had been a kids book, it would have been called Stripeyshirt and the Three Panes.

Stripeyshirt tried the first pane of glass.

“This pane is too big!” he exclaimed.

So he tried the second pane of glass.

“This pane is too small,” he said.

So, he tried the last pane of glass.

“Ahhh, this pane is just right,” he said happily and he fixed it in place.

With the mess cleaned up and the replacement glass (finally) in place, the game resumed. If you didn’t see the previous post and you’re wondering how the game concluded, go do that now before I hold you in contempt of blog.

(Programming note: there’s one more set of photos from this game. Trust me, you’re going to want to come back for that post.)

Photo of the Actually Playin’ Hockey Now: 1 February 2012

Woodhaven hockey traveled to Chelsea to play some hockey. What’s Woodhaven, you might be asking? Well, it’s one of the towns in the hockey-loving area commonly known as Downriver. Aside from having a high school and a hockey team, Woodhaven is home to the Ford stamping plant. (Contrary to popular belief, a stamping plant does not produce angry toddlers and teenagers. It also doesn’t apply stamps to envelopes.)

When you shoot enough hockey in one place, you start to recognize the referees. I always recognize this one…

…in part because he has an especially enjoyable “Yeah, yeah, I hear you, but you’re wrong” face when the coaches and/or players start complaining.

Chelsea has an official athletics twitter feed that provides schedule and score updates. During this game I acquired ACTUAL FOOTAGE of the twitter feed being updated. Look at the gentleman on the right side of these three photos. You’ll see him pull his phone out of his pocket in order to post the score update to twitter.

Many area schools now have twitter feeds providing sports updates. It’s a great use of twitter. If you’re so inclined, you can follow Chelsea athletics at @ChelseaBulldogs.

Chelsea scored a lot of goals in this game. Here’s another one:

But it wasn’t all sunshine, roses, and Pepsi Throwback for the Bulldogs. In this case, one Bulldog not only ended up in his own net, but also had a penalty called against him. He did not agree with the call.

The game had an abundance of penalties. At one point the teams were playing 3-on-3 hockey and the scoreboard looked like this:

But Chelsea kept scoring anyway.

Did Chelsea win? Well, here. This photo might answer your question:

You may have noticed the post title is a little different from other hockey posts. That’s because there were two other notable events that occurred during this game, each of which deserves its own post. Those will be up next. Are you excited? Of course you are!

Photo of the Hockey Now: 21 January 2012

While Saline was playing on one of the Ice Cube’s rinks, Chelsea was over on another rink playing Ann Arbor Huron. The Saline game ended early due to the mercy rule, so I made it to the other rink in time to see the third period of the Chelsea game.

Before the third period could begin, the refs had to fix a blemish on the resurfaced ice. Anthony kept an eye on their progress.

When the third period began, Chelsea was leading Huron 2-0. That didn’t last long. On paper the teams weren’t evenly matched, and after two periods of close play, the paper came to life. Chelsea scored early and often.

Like I said, early and often. Oh, here’s another goal:

The hockey mercy rule is an eight-goal differential after two periods, and maybe halfway through the third — if that — Chelsea scored its sixth goal of the period to bring the game to an early end.