Chelsea and Dexter met in hockey. Having won at Dexter — which is actually at Ann Arbor, but that’s a minor technicality — Chelsea was looking for a regular-season sweep of the Dreadnaughts, while Dexter was looking for the basic dignity of not having been swept.

Chelsea put together an early scoring chance that was thwarted only due to this penalty:

The resulting power play led to a goal.

The Dexter goalie took a moment to wave hello:

Oh, and he was making a save, too. Look in his glove.

As is generally the case in Chelsea/Dexter hockey games, there was plenty of hitting.

There may have been a few penalties, too.

Come on, ref. The statute of limitations expired on that penalty before I committed it. You can’t charge me with that.

One particular penalty was especially Chelsea/Dexterish. Dexter brought the puck into the zone, and a Chelsea defenseman decided to play defense. The Dreadnaught responded by putting the defenseman in a headlock, and…well, here. Take a look.

The defenseman didn’t think too much of that tactic.

There may have been a few words exchanged.

Thanks to my super-special long-range hearing — it’s my mutant ability — here’s the dialogue from that encounter:

Chelsea: I say, good sir, were you aware that your arm encircled my neck and forcibly removed my helmet?
Dexter: Indeed I was aware of this, my good man. In fact, that was my very intention.
C: I am shocked by this unforeseen revelation! What would cause you to show such disdain towards me? I thought I conducted myself quite honorably.
D: Frankly, I was offended by your deliberate refusal to grant me free access to the offensive zone. It caused me to conclude that you held some manner of personal grudge against me.
C: Why, I was unaware I had given you such an infelicitous impression! You are always welcome in my zone. Do accept my most sincere apologies.
D: Think nothing more of it! And likewise, do accept my most sincere apologies for my unseemly fit of violence. I will make an effort to better restrain my temper in the future.
C: Of course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this gentleman in the striped shirt has requested that I accompany him to the penalty box.
D: Ah, how regrettable! His colleague has made the same request of me. Let us hope our time of separate confinement is edifying.

I make no guarantees as to the accuracy of the above dialogue, but usually I get these things right.

After the penalties were sorted out, the game continued.

In the end, Dexter’s bid for dignity fell short, and Chelsea celebrated a regular-season sweep of its county rival.