Photo of the Hockey Quarterfinal Now: 7 March 2012

Chelsea hockey traveled to Allen Park to face Allen Park in the state quarterfinal. The winner would get a trip to Compuware Arena. The loser — or, for you non-competitive types, the second winner — would have more time to catch up on all its favorite tv shows on Hulu.

Chelsea jumped out to a quick 1-0 lead, and before long things got even worse for Allen Park: the referees awarded Chelsea a penalty shot after a non-goalie Jaguar closed his hand on the puck in the crease. This was a dangerous moment for Allen Park.


“See here, he’s going to skate towards you with the puck, see, and he’s going to shoot the puck, see, and if you want — that is to say, if you’re so inclined to do so — you can maybe try to stop the puck from going into your net, see.”

Sadly for the Bulldogs but happily for the Jaguars, the goalie made the stop. However, later in the first period the Bulldogs did manage to score a second goal.

The first period ended with Chelsea enjoying a 2-0 lead, and the second period featured even less scoring than Michigan State basketball managed against Louisville. I know that’s hard to imagine, but it’s true. (Neither team scored in the second period.)

Though there wasn’t any scoring, there was good action and a few indelicate interactions…like this:

There were some good hits, too.

Much to the chagrin of the many Bulldog fans in attendance, Allen Park managed to score a goal in the third period.

This made the score 2-1, leaving Chelsea a lead of one lonely little goal. One scrawny goal in the third period of a hockey game in a single-elimination tournament. That’s it.

If you’re not a hockey fan, let me explain to you what a one-goal lead in the third period of a hockey game in a single-elimination tournament is for anyone with a rooting interest in the game: it’s miserably thrilling. You’re watching the game begging the clock to move faster, begging the puck to clear the blue line even if only by an inch so you can get a chance to breathe, begging that shot to be wide or high or directly into the goalie’s chest or in Lenawee County or really ANYWHERE BUT IN THE NET. In playoff hockey it takes only one shot to ruin everything, and you spend the waning seconds living both in fear of that one awful shot and in hope of the appearance of those glorious zeros on the clock before that one loathsome shot can be created.

Playoff hockey can lift your heart to absurd heights of joy, but it can also tear your heart out of your chest.

Much to the delight of the Chelsea faithful, the Bulldogs kept the puck out of the net to preserve the 2-1 victory. When time expired, they poured onto the ice to rejoice over their second trip in three years to the state semifinals.

As Chelsea celebrated, Allen Park mourned the end of its season.

This Allen Park team bore some resemblance to the Chelsea team of two years ago: both produced somewhat below-average regular seasons, but both surprised plenty of people by finding a way to win in the playoffs. The main difference: Chelsea’s team of two years ago reached the semifinals, while Allen Park’s 2011-12 team fell one goal short of that accomplishment. Just one scrawny little goal. It’s the thinnest of margins, but it looms large when you no longer have time to erase it.

Playoff hockey can lift your heart to absurd heights of joy, but it can also tear your heart out of your chest.

Back on the other side of the scoresheet, the Bulldogs received a rousing ovation from their fans as they walked through the lobby on their way to the bus.

When next you see photos of these Bulldogs on this blog, they’ll be in Compuware Arena facing University Liggett.

Photo of the Royal Garden Trio & Friends Now: 3 March 2012

The Chelsea Center for the Arts held a fundraiser. I couldn’t make it to the Friday night event — which is a real pity because it involved chocolate! — but I did make it to the Saturday night event: a concert featuring the Beach Fiddle Club, the Chelsea House Orchestra, Charlotte Prenevost, and the Royal Garden Trio.

First up was the Beach Fiddle Club.

If you’re not familiar with Chelsea, you might be wondering about the name of that group. Do they fiddle on the beach? No. Well, I mean, they might do that every now and again, but not on a regular basis. The group is composed of local middle school kids, and the name of that school is Beach Middle School. (The school was named after Dwight Beach, a Chelsea native who rose to the rank of general in the U.S. Army.)

Next up was the Chelsea House Orchestra.

Charlotte Prenevost joined CHO for a song.

To cap off the evening, the Royal Garden Trio took the stage. They first performed a few songs with some CHO members.

Charlotte Prenevost sang with the trio, too.

Then the trio had the stage all to itself.

The Royal Garden Trio is well worth checking out. Here, watch this video. You won’t regret it.

Photo of the Hockey Playoff Now: 3 March 2012

Chelsea hockey faced Monroe St. Mary Catholic Central in the regional final at Arctic Coliseum. This game wasn’t for all the marbles, but since high school playoffs involve multiple trophies, there were some marbles involved.

If you’re a dedicated Chelsea hockey fan, you might remember Monroe St. Long Name from two years ago, when Chelsea entered the playoffs two games under .500 and made program history with a hilariously unlikely and completely thrilling run to the state semifinals. Monroe Blah Blah Blah was the team Chelsea faced in the regional final that season, too. They were among the better teams in the state that year, so the odds were against the Bulldogs. However, Chelsea put forth a rousing effort…but MSMCC scored to take a one-goal lead with less than a minute to play, a crushing development that seemed to be the final blow. But wait! It wasn’t! Chelsea tied the game with under 30 seconds to play, and a few minutes into overtime the Bulldogs scored the winning goal to claim their first-ever regional championship.

This year the roles were a bit different: Chelsea came in with a stellar record, while MSMCC came in weaker than usual. Given the history I just recounted, I think you can understand why I was a little nervous. Or maybe a lot nervous. As I mentioned in a previous post, hockey single-elimination hockey playoffs are weird, man.

The game didn’t start well. The goalie made the above save, but MSMCC managed to score an early goal for a surprising and somewhat distressing early lead.

There was a bit of goalie encouragement going on before the second period started:

And while we’re away from the action, let’s all take a moment to appreciate Chelsea’s wonderful Angry Destructive Bulldog logo.

Back to the action.

Unfortunately, MSMCC scored another goal midway through the second period. Things were looking a bit grim, so the Chelsea coach called a timeout.

I don’t know what he said to the team in that timeout, but it worked. Boy, did it ever work. After a few solid hits, this (finally!) happened:

MSMCC held onto its 2-1 lead for the rest of the second period, but it was obvious Chelsea had found the on switch. The third period saw this:

And then this:

That goal gave Chelsea its first lead of the game midway through the third period.

As time grew short, MSMCC called its timeout to scheme its own miracle goal. While they did that, Chelsea schemed its anti-miracle goal.

After MSMCC pulled its goalie for the extra skater, Chelsea got ahold of the puck and — after several tries — put it in the empty net to seal its second regional championship in three years.

The goalie might have been secretly pleased about the win.

He might have had a little bit of company, too.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t much of a secret.

With the win, the Bulldogs moved on to the state quarterfinals against Allen Park in Allen Park.

Photo of the Other Rivalrypuck Now, Playoff Edition: 1 March 2012

Having dispatched the Dreadnaughts, Lumen Christi returned to the Arctic Coliseum to face their thoroughly not-loved rival Chelsea for the third time this season. The teams split the season series, with Lumen Christi winning the last game in blowout fashion, 9-4. (SPOILER ALERT: that may be the final score of next’s fall’s LSU/Alabama football game.) Given Chelsea’s stellar record and earlier defeat of LC, the likelihood of another lopsided game was low…but single-elimination hockey playoffs are weird, man. They’re just weird. When it all comes down to one hockey game, one shot or one suddenly unbeatable goalie can screw up the whole thing.

As is the norm (NORM!) for rivalry playoff games, there was a big crowd. How big? So big that all the Blue Wheelchair Man Group parking spots were full! Come on, people. That wasn’t nice. You’re supposed to leave one for me.

What you don’t see there is the crowd standing along the boards all the way around the ends. It was a good crowd.

As is the norm (NORM!) for Chelsea/Lumen Christi games, there was plenty of violence. Most of it was legal, too.

The following photo is among my favorites of the entire winter:

Everywhere you look there’s some sort of awesome in the frame. Happy Chelsea player? Check. Ref signaling the goal? Check. Elated fans? Check. Child with the greatest facial expression in the history of humanity? Check. (Look just above the player’s shoulder.) If that picture were a pizza, it would be a Thompson’s Super.

While we’re on the topic of fun photos, here’s one of the goalie using the Force to make a save:

I know it might look like the puck is headed into the net, but he did make the save. The puck hit his leg and deflected straight up.

But let’s get back to the violence.

The Lumen Christi player looks deeply offended, but the referee wasn’t buying it. There was no penalty on the play. However, there were plenty of pleasantries from the Lumen Christi students in the background.

Oh, look. Another save.

The game remained uncomfortably close for far too long. Fortunately for my blood pressure and hair color, Chelsea finally pulled away.

With the game in hand late, two of the players had a brief conference.

The referees stepped in very quickly, so nothing came of it beyond a couple irrelevant penalties.

When time expired, Chelsea got happy.

With the 4-1 win over Lumen Christi, Chelsea moved on to face Monroe St. Mary’s Catholic Central.

Photo of the YOST YOST YOST YOST YOST Now: 25 February 2012

To conclude the regular season, Chelsea hockey traveled to Ann Arbor to play Skyline. Given the substantial gap between the two teams and the mercy-shortened meeting earlier in the season, the game promised to be somewhat less than exciting. However, I decided to head to Ann Arbor to take in the game anyway. Why? Because Skyline’s home ice is none other than Yost Ice Arena, a classic old barn of an arena that’s a joy to visit simply because it’s YOST.

I’m posting only two photos from this game, but because they’re photos of Yost, they’re the equivalent of 20 photos. I went primarily for the venue, so I took photos of the venue.

If you’ve never been to Yost, you should make plans to go to a Michigan hockey game next winter. The building is a classic sports venue with character only age can produce, but it’s THE BEST because of the environment Michigan hockey crowds provide for games. I like to call it the happiest hockey place on earth. Here, this happens every game (watch all the way to the end — it’s worth it):

If you’re a sports fan, Yost should be on your list of venues to visit.

Finally, one humorous note: go back to the first photo and look at the little pink spot on the far left side. I didn’t notice it the first few times I looked at the photo, but when I did notice it I had to laugh. Here’s a closer look:

That’s a little girl where she’s certainly not supposed to be. She must have climbed up the retracted bleachers to…I don’t know, get a better view? She must have decided there was something appealing about that spot.

Oh, and as for the game: Chelsea won a lot to a little. With the win, the Bulldogs finished undefeated in the conference.

Photo of the Basketball Now: 24 February 2012

The Ann Arbor Huron girls basketball team visited Chelsea. As it turned out, for the gentlemen in charge there was a bit of a dress code for this particular game.

Indeed, it was a classy evening at the CHS gym. I mean, it’s classy anytime I’m there — together, a scruffy beard and a hoodie are the epitome of sophistication! — but it was especially classy this time.

It was senior night, too. Here, one senior shares a laugh with the assistant coach.

Eventually they did play basketball.

At halftime the Chelsea Athletic Boosters presented the district with a big check that had a big number on it.

The athletic boosters do a great deal to support Chelsea athletics. If you appreciate the school’s athletic programs as a part of the students’ educational experience and as a part of the culture of Chelsea, then you also appreciate the efforts of the boosters. If you don’t…well, I forgive you. Don’t let it happen again.

Chelsea put forth a valiant effort, but Huron is an outstanding team, and one River Rat made Chelsea’s task even more difficult by making a whole bunch of three point shots. In the end, Chelsea couldn’t keep up.

Photo of the SEC Championship Hockey Now: 22 February 2012

Saline hockey visited its old home rink in Chelsea for a big game: Chelsea and Saline were at the top of their respective SEC divisions, so the game was a conference championship game of sorts.

I’d rant about the good old SEC days and how Saline used to be a huge rival for Chelsea but now they’re just an acquaintance that Chelsea says hi to every now and again when the divisions get together for coffee and how silly it is to have one conference with two divisions and how it would be so much better just to end the sham and have two officially separate conferences because things were better when I was younger dagnabbit and you kids these days have no idea what a real high school athletic conference is anymore, but…well, this is easier:

[insert humorous but bitingly effective rant about the good old SEC days and so on and so forth]

Okay, I feel better. On to the photos.

Take a look at the linesman in the background:

Is he:
A: Confused and calling the runner safe at second because he thinks he’s at a baseball game
B: Gesturing to the imaginary crowd that’s cheering his imaginary speech
C: Pretending he’s Hockey Moses parting the Blue Line Sea
D: Declaring the play onside


From L to R: “Hooray!”; “Hooray!”; “Nobody ever pays me in gum.”

Midway through the second period, the Saline goalie wandered far, far away from his net to play the puck in order to keep it away from a fast-approaching Bulldog. There were two problems with this strategy: first, the Bulldog was approaching faster than he thought, and second, the Bulldog had more on his mind than simply playing the puck. As soon as the goalie touched the puck, the Bulldog arrived, and…well, here, take a look at the next two photos:

The photos do a good job conveying the impact, but let me emphasize this: he hit the goalie hard. No, wait. He hit the goalie all-caps HARD. It would have been a big hit on a regular skater. It was devastating on a goalie.

As one would expect, the Saline players on the ice took serious exception to this breach of hockey etiquette and quickly let him know what they thought of his hit. The goalie stayed down and got attention from the trainer while the referees sorted out the penalties. The final tally for the feisty Bulldog: a whopping 17 minutes in the box. They gave him a 2-minute minor, a 5-minute major, and a 10-minute misconduct. Surprisingly, he didn’t get ejected, but here’s a bit of perspective: he spent the equivalent of one full period in the penalty box. That’s not something you see every day.

What became of the goalie, you ask? Well, as soon as the penalties were announced, he popped back up and skated around like he’d just had a 5-Hour Energy. In other words: he was fine.

(Fun fact: those two photos got top billing in the newspaper.)

Eventually they got back to the game, and…hey, look, Chelsea scored!

And then…uh oh, Jacob has the puck…

…and guess what? Yeah, another goal.

The game was tied at 2 when the Saline goalie got bulldozed, but Chelsea scored the next 3 goals and Saline scored the next zero goals, so…you get the idea.

With the 5-2 win and another win against Skyline three days later — don’t worry, you’ll see a couple photos from that game, too — Chelsea finished the 2011-12 season undefeated in the SEC.

Photo of the Basketball Now: 21 February 2012

Lincoln traveled to Chelsea for a basketball game.

Hey, have you noticed that while the rest of the modern world’s clothing has become less modest, basketball shorts have become more modest?

Okay, enough societal commentary. Here’s some basketball.

This was most definitely a foul:

Take a look at the Lincoln coach in this photo:

Is he:
A: Singing The Supremes’ classic hit Stop! In the Name of Love?
B: Halfway through Subway’s catchy Five-Dollar Footlong song?
C: Just looking for a high-five?
D: Telling his players not to shoot, but to kill time so they can have the last shot of the quarter?

If you guessed A, you think like me. SEEK HELP. But if you guessed D, you’re right. Oh, and if you have either one of those songs in your head: YOU’RE WELCOME.

At one point a Bulldog took a blow to the nose. No, no. He didn’t blow his nose. Read carefully. Remember, you should skim your pool, not your text. Okay, okay, fine, I’ll make it easier for you: he got hit in the nose.

He was able to return to the game, so either it wasn’t a substantial injury or he has the pain tolerance of an angry rhinoceros.

See? Here’s the angry rhinoceros trying to get a rebound:

Sometimes you just can’t jump high enough. There must be a life lesson in there somewhere.

The game came down to the last few seconds, but Lincoln was able to hit enough free throws to escape with a narrow victory.

Photo of the Rivalrypuck Now: 15 February 2012

Chelsea and Dexter met in hockey. Having won at Dexter — which is actually at Ann Arbor, but that’s a minor technicality — Chelsea was looking for a regular-season sweep of the Dreadnaughts, while Dexter was looking for the basic dignity of not having been swept.

Chelsea put together an early scoring chance that was thwarted only due to this penalty:

The resulting power play led to a goal.

The Dexter goalie took a moment to wave hello:

Oh, and he was making a save, too. Look in his glove.

As is generally the case in Chelsea/Dexter hockey games, there was plenty of hitting.

There may have been a few penalties, too.


Come on, ref. The statute of limitations expired on that penalty before I committed it. You can’t charge me with that.

One particular penalty was especially Chelsea/Dexterish. Dexter brought the puck into the zone, and a Chelsea defenseman decided to play defense. The Dreadnaught responded by putting the defenseman in a headlock, and…well, here. Take a look.

The defenseman didn’t think too much of that tactic.

There may have been a few words exchanged.

Thanks to my super-special long-range hearing — it’s my mutant ability — here’s the dialogue from that encounter:

Chelsea: I say, good sir, were you aware that your arm encircled my neck and forcibly removed my helmet?
Dexter: Indeed I was aware of this, my good man. In fact, that was my very intention.
C: I am shocked by this unforeseen revelation! What would cause you to show such disdain towards me? I thought I conducted myself quite honorably.
D: Frankly, I was offended by your deliberate refusal to grant me free access to the offensive zone. It caused me to conclude that you held some manner of personal grudge against me.
C: Why, I was unaware I had given you such an infelicitous impression! You are always welcome in my zone. Do accept my most sincere apologies.
D: Think nothing more of it! And likewise, do accept my most sincere apologies for my unseemly fit of violence. I will make an effort to better restrain my temper in the future.
C: Of course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, this gentleman in the striped shirt has requested that I accompany him to the penalty box.
D: Ah, how regrettable! His colleague has made the same request of me. Let us hope our time of separate confinement is edifying.

I make no guarantees as to the accuracy of the above dialogue, but usually I get these things right.

After the penalties were sorted out, the game continued.

In the end, Dexter’s bid for dignity fell short, and Chelsea celebrated a regular-season sweep of its county rival.