Previous meeting (week 4): Chelsea d. Adrian 21-10

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 11-0

We’ve got spirits, yes we do! But they come alive on the field.

As the Bulldogs were defeating Tecumseh in the first round of the SEC playoffs — the rumor is that there are other conferences represented, but I’m skeptical — they were keeping one eye on the game between familiar conference foe Adrian and last year’s playoff spoiler Fowlerville; the winner would be making a visit to Jerry Niehaus Field the next Friday evening. Most seemed to expect a Fowlerville victory, which would have given Chelsea the opportunity to make up for last year’s last-minute loss in the third round; however, apparently due to a failure to read the approved script, Adrian decided to win the game, setting up another SEC rematch. Can you feel my excitement? Probably not, because my excitement is being overshadowed by my trepidation.

This rematch brought its own exciting minefield to the SEC Syndicated Reruns Postseason Tour. Chelsea’s week 3 game against Tecumseh was not among the the closer games of the season; by the fourth quarter, the outcome was apparent. In contrast, Chelsea’s week 4 game against Adrian was still in doubt in the fourth quarter; with the offense unable to mount substantial drives, and with the dangerous Brent Ohrman running the Adrian offense, the defense had to make several crucial second-half stops in its own territory to seal the victory. (Actually, the defense gave up only three points the whole game and shut out Adrian in the second half.) Would the Chelsea offense find more success the second time around? Would the Chelsea defense be able to replicate its show of strength against Ohrman and his merry band of majestic Canadian symbols? Inquiring minds want to know! (Which is exactly why inquiring minds will continue reading.)

4. Score more points. Don’t forget that one.

Adrian won the coin toss and followed the advice of Sir Conventional Wisdom, the knight in obvious armor, by choosing to take the ball in the second half; that turned out to be a good choice, as Sir Conventional Wisdom rode in on his mighty predictable steed and smote the Chelsea offense, forcing a three and out.

After Chelsea’s punt, the Adrian offense marched down the field and, after a strong drive, gave up a touchdown. No, seriously: the Adrian offense gave up a touchdown. As Adrian was beginning to make eyes at the end zone, Ohrman encountered a few rabid Chelsea defenders and promptly fumbled the ball; Chelsea’s Stu Mann, moved at the sight of such a helpless little football lying on the cold turf, scooped up the ball and cradled it in his arms as he ran 71 yards for a touchdown. And just like that, when it looked like an Adrian touchdown was nigh inevitable, Chelsea held a 7-0 lead.

Crowds gather to watch Nick Hill exercise.

Who loves ya, baby? Dean Roberts loves ya, baby!

Of course, the quick defensive touchdown meant the defense had to go right back out on the field, and it didn’t seem likely Adrian would punctuate every drive with a timely and devastating turnover; in the short term, this turned out to be true, as the second drive ended with an Adrian touchdown. Even worse, that wasn’t the end of the early fireworks; still in the first quarter, Adrian scored a second touchdown not just to take a 14-7 lead, but also to surpass its point total from the week 4 game. And while the Adrian lead was a problem, more disconcerting was that it was beginning to look as though the defense might not be able to replicate its earlier outstanding effort.

Ah, but just when the game was beginning to look bleak, the Chelsea offense came out and asserted its authority, putting together a lengthy scoring drive that not only tied the score, but also gave the defense a much-needed break. And just as encouraging as the touchdown and the extended time of possession was the the complete team effort that powered the drive; at times this season, the offense has been on the shoulders of just one player, but this scoring drive featured key plays from a number of different players.

Taylor Hopkins: gravity’s best friend.

With the score tied, the defense went back onto the field and, as it had done on Adrian’s previous drives, began to give up yardage; with time winding down in the first half, it looked like Adrian was going to score yet again. But this drive was not like the others; the defense had another outcome in mind. Adrian had the ball inside the 10 yard line, and with Ohrman’s happy feet, a touchdown seemed likely. But on three consecutive plays, the Chelsea defense made monumental stops — the first of which prevented what looked to be a certain touchdown — to keep Adrian out of the end zone; after the third stop, Adrian couldn’t spike the ball in time to salvage a field goal attempt, and Chelsea escaped to the locker room with the 14-14 tie intact. And, perhaps more importantly, the remarkable defensive stand brought a spark to a Chelsea sideline that had been flat and lifeless for much of the first half.

Donny Riedel is a popular guy. Take a number, please.

It’s the end of your run as you know it, and I feel fine.

When the second half began, it felt like an entirely different game with an entirely different Chelsea team on the field. Thanks to Sir Conventional Wisdom, Adrian had the first possession in the second half; however, Chelsea’s defense maintained the momentum it gained from the three stops at the end of the first half, so Adrian came away with nothing. And when Chelsea got its hands on the ball, the offense began to look like its assertive, defense-devouring self; after several first downs, Chelsea was inside Adrian territory, and it looked like the Bulldogs would retake the lead. But the offense stalled, and the punting unit took the field; a superb punt from Jeff Adams pinned Adrian near its own 10 yard line … but there was a flag near the spot of the punt. An Adrian player had contacted Adams after the punt, and the flag — only a five-yard penalty — left coach Brad Bush with a choice: decline the penalty and give Adrian the ball in poor field position, or take the penalty and take a chance on the resulting fourth and two. Bush chose the latter, but Adams’ pass fell incomplete; as a result, Adrian took possession in better field position.

You cannot stop Nick Hill; you can only hope to watch him score.

Would Chris Schmelz care for a football? Yes, he would.

Initially, that sequence of events seemed to give Adrian the momentum yet again; they started marching down the field with first-half ease. But the Chelsea defense was back to its old ways, and the drive died inside Chelsea’s 25 yard line, leaving Adrian a chance at a long field goal. Ohrman’s kick was plenty long enough, but it was just a few inches too far to the left; the ball hit the upright, prolonging the tie and giving Chelsea a boost of confidence. And Chelsea’s offense made good on that confidence this time; Donny Riedel finished a lengthy Chelsea drive with a hard-fought 10-yard touchdown run late in the third quarter to give Chelsea its first lead since midway through the first quarter.

Though there was a quarter of football yet to be played, that touchdown seemed to be the beginning of Adrian’s end; in stark contrast to its offensive efficiency through nearly three quarters, Adrian’s next three possessions were punctuated by timely and devastating interceptions. Between the second and third interceptions, Michael Roberts kicked a field goal that pushed Chelsea’s lead to 10 and really did seal Adrian’s fate; after the final interception, Chelsea was able to run out the clock and celebrate yet another extension of the 2007 season.

Do not adjust your monitor; this is a high-contrast image.

Leftovers:

• Adrian significantly outgained Chelsea, 385 to 245; however, Adrian had only one more first down than Chelsea (21 to 20). The bulk of Adrian’s offense came from passing (289 passing, 96 rushing); nearly all of Chelsea’s offense came from running (226 rushing, 19 passing). But the really notable statistic is the first half yardage totals: at the break, Adrian had a 243-67 advantage over Chelsea. In that context, the 14-14 tie at halftime was a big accomplishment for Chelsea (and most likely a big disappointment for Adrian).

• The first quarter was rough, but ultimately, Chelsea’s defense was up to the task of shutting down Adrian for the second time this season; Adrian scored 14 points in the first quarter and no points in the last three quarters. And without a doubt, those three stops to end the first half rank among the biggest plays of the year.

• Officially, Chelsea’s SEC record is 7-0, but I like to think it’s actually 9-0 now.

Next week:
Chelsea, having won the SEC playoff, faces the Trojans of East Lansing; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00 PM. Be there; be loud; be supportive.

Previous meeting (week 3): Chelsea d. Tecumseh 41-26

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 10-0

Is this exciting? Of course it is!

One of the reasons the playoffs are exciting is the prospect of playing new teams. Much of the regular season is filled with the same old conference teams, and while the familiar rivals provide their own sort of excitement, it’s always interesting to play teams you wouldn’t meet under normal regular-season circumstances. So, after concluding the regular season against the all-too-familiar Milan Big Reds, the Bulldogs learned that their first-round playoff foe would be the thrillingly unfamiliar … Tecumseh Indians? Wait — something’s not right here.

So yeah, what I meant was that one of the reasons the playoffs are exciting is the prospect of rekindling old rivalries in the atmosphere of a playoff game. The…

Never mind. I can’t type that with a straight keyboard. The idea of meeting a conference team early in the playoffs seems redundant and anti-climactic; just imagine Michigan meeting Michigan State in a bowl game. Well, okay, it might be a little too hard to imagine MSU in a real bowl game, so imagine Michigan meeting Penn State or Iowa in a bowl game; it doesn’t inspire quite the same anticipation as a bowl game against a less familiar team from a different conference. Familiarity may breed contempt, but it doesn’t necessarily breed the best postseason in football at the high school and college levels; at those levels, the game is more isolated and conference-driven with schedules dominated by conference teams, so challenging forays outside the conference have greater appeal.

In recent years, familiarity may not be a strong enough word when it comes to Chelsea and Tecumseh; just a few years ago (2000-01), Chelsea and Tecumseh met four times in two years — two regular-season meetings and two first-round playoff meetings — and Chelsea won all four games. By the end of the fourth game, it was apparent the teams had played two too many games in those two years; fortunately, 2001 was the end of the extra games … until this year, when the MHSAA extended its mighty hand of bracket-making and ordered another first-round playoff game between the schools.

One major concern with a playoff rematch against a team the Bulldogs defeated in the regular season is the potential for a mental letdown by the players (we beat them once, and we’ll beat them again); that was my primary concern all week. But then I went to the team’s pregame meal, and thanks to several different players, I learned that the Ann Arbor News had made an effort to prevent Chelsea from coming out flat; it seems the News ran an article that was not entirely complimentary to Chelsea. I haven’t been able to get my hands on a copy of the article, but the players’ reaction told me what I needed to know: it ensured that they were motivated.

That motivation was immediately apparent when Chelsea took possession of the ball and wasted no time in moving down the field and scoring a 12-yard Nick Hill touchdown to take an early 7-0 lead. Of course, scoring on Tecumseh’s mildly porous defense was only half the battle; while Tecumseh’s defense had allowed at least 21 points in every game except the first (and more than 40 in a few), Tecumseh’s offense had scored at least 26 points in every game except the first (and, again, more than 40 in a few). So, though Chelsea’s quick offensive outburst was encouraging, it was also expected and necessary, just in case Tecumseh had one of those 40-point outbursts.

Sam Birgy does not like the way you’re looking at Nick Hill.

For a while, it was beginning to look like Tecumseh was in the mood to score a few points; as usual, their Large Angry Violent Men offense took the ball and plodded down the field an inch at a time. But in an unusual twist, their drive stalled inside Chelsea’s 20; after a failed fourth-down play, the Tecumseh offense walked off the field with nothing more than a sizable advantage in time of possession. And for an offense that scoffs at the concept of gaining more than 20 yards on one play, coming away with no points on a drive that lasts roughly two and a half years is disastrous; in fact, it’s right up there with such worst-case scenarios as “nuclear holocaust” and “Duke University Football.”

It’s like rain … on your playoff game …

It’s a first down … that you just can’t make …

Naturally, the Chelsea offense took the ball down the field and scored again, this time on a seven-yard Jeff Adams run. After another stop by the Chelsea defense, the offense took the ball and … well, it didn’t even march down the field this time; instead, Adams took the ball around the left end and went 78 yards for the touchdown. At that point, Tecumseh was in a 21-point hole, and it was becoming apparent that six- and eight-minute drives — a specialty of the LAVM offense — weren’t going to keep it close.

If the air were carrying the ball, this would be a great tackle.

Ah, but it wasn’t all dark and depressing for Tecumseh; after Adams’ 78-yard jaunt through the countryside, the Indians came back with an actual no-foolin’ successful drive that ended in an actual no-foolin’ touchdown. The two-point conversion was called back on a penalty, and the subsequent extra point attempt failed, but the touchdown narrowed Chelsea’s lead and provided a bit of life. However, there were still nearly two minutes left in the second quarter, and based on previous scoring drives, that was plenty of time for Chelsea to answer Tecumseh’s touchdown. And answer they did, with a 25-yard pass to Chris Schmelz; the extra point failed, but Chelsea still held a 27-6 lead at the half.

Chris Schmelz celebrates good times. Come on!

When forward progress meets the Chelsea defense, this happens.

Because Tecumseh won the coin toss and deferred, they received the ball to start the second half; the plan was to narrow Chelsea’s lead with another touchdown. But the A-Team’s Hannibal Smith didn’t love the start of the second quarter because Tecumseh’s plan didn’t come together; actually, the plan fell apart when Tecumseh quarterback Andrew Simpson launched a pass that sought comfort in the arms of a Chelsea defender. Not long after that interception, the ball was yet again in the end zone. And, unfortunately for Tecumseh, it wasn’t in the end zone alone; Nick Hill accompanied it on a six-yard touchdown run to push the lead to 33-7.

Thank you; come again.

At that point, the game was essentially over, and Chelsea coach Brad Bush began to bring in substitutes, but the scoring wasn’t yet done. In the third quarter, Chelsea’s Nick Avila scored on a one-yard run; also in the third, Tecumseh answered with its final points of the evening, a six-yard run followed by a two-point conversion; in the fourth quarter, Chelsea closed out the scoring with a two-yard touchdown run by Justin Swarthout (and an extra point by sophomore Tyler Zagarzewski, whose name would be an astounding play in Scrabble if the game included two Zs … and if it happened to be a legal word, which, sadly, is not the case). Before long, the game came to an end, and the Bulldogs celebrated a 10-0 record and another one-week extension of the 2007 season.

This is not how a helmet protects you from injury.

Leftovers:

• The game was a celebration of offense: Tecumseh totaled 348, while Chelsea totaled 512 yards. Tecumseh’s high total fits with the lopsided score because they had multiple lengthy drives that produced no points.

• Nick Hill carried 12 times for 193 yards, for an average of 16 yards per carry. Of course, that’s relatively unimpressive, because Jeff Adams averaged 42.5ypc and Donny Riedel averaged 41ypc. (Grains of salt: Adams had two carries for 85 yards; Riedel had one carry for 41 yards.)

• Scrabblezewski wasn’t the only sophomore to see action; quarterback Dakota Cooley and running back Zack Giller also got in a few snaps. There likely were a few others, too, but those were the names I recognized from the nine Thursdays I spent at JV games this year.

• Ron Spears, Milan’s Million Yard March, left Milan’s first-round playoff game with an injury; later, the Ann Arbor News reported that “Spears … said he actually took a hit to his thigh against Chelsea in Week 9, and Friday’s hit made it worse.” However, he will be ready to play this week.

• The MHSAA put together an SEC-filled district this year; of four teams in the district, three were SEC teams: Chelsea, Tecumseh, and Adrian. The fourth was Fowlerville, the team that ended Chelsea’s season in the third round last year. It might have been nice to face Fowlerville again, but they had the audacity to lose to Adrian, and that means I just stumbled into an excellent segue for this post’s conclusion.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the equally unfamiliar Maples of Adrian, which also happens to be the team that followed Tecumseh on Chelsea’s regular season schedule; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00 PM. If the Bulldogs win again, there will be no more SEC teams on the schedule this season. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy and impossible, but it’s true.

JV: d. Milan 14-7; 5-4 (3-4 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Milan 33-20; 5-3-1 (3-3-1 SEC)

Taylor Hopkins breaks on through to the other side.

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away — in other words, after the 1999 season — Milan traded the SEC for the Huron League. However, life without Chelsea on the schedule was a bit too strange for Milan, so the schools continued to play each other; with two exceptions, Chelsea and Milan have concluded each regular season schedule since 2000 with what amounts to a non-conference SEC game.

For a number of those years, I helped run the press box video camera for the coaches, and that meant I had to endure the joy of the old Milan press box on stilts. You may think I’m joking, but no, I’m serious: it was a big two-story box on stilts, and it would sway in the breeze. We video crews were directed to the roof of the box most years, which meant we were four stories above the field, looking down and seeing the earth rotating beneath us; for someone who has a somewhat contentious relationship with heights, this was not always the most enjoyable experience. But the box on stilts did have two benefits: it was tall, and it was practically on top of the field, providing an excellent view of the game. The old box on stilts is now gone, having been replaced by new home stands that don’t face the setting sun, but the memories of standing on the roof wondering if this would be the year the stilts finally gave out … well, I’ll always have those.

Of course, there is one other aspect of Milan sports that should not go unmentioned: the mascot. We’ve enjoyed a wide variety of mascots this year, but none of them is like the Milan Big Reds. Some may protest the mascot for obvious controversial reasons (none of which include the preponderance of black and the minimum of red in Milan’s current uniforms, which I think is an outrage), but I believe these complaints miss the true intent of the mascot, an intent profoundly illustrated by the following 100% true, completely unaltered photograph.

Your quarterback has long-lasting flavor.

This year’s game between the Bulldogs and the Cinnamon Sticks had every indication of being one of the best of the year. Both teams were conference champions; Chelsea came into the game looking to close out a 9-0 season in its own stadium, while Milan came into the game looking to end its five-game losing streak to Chelsea with its eighth win of the year; Chelsea brought an offense featuring an outstanding running back in Nick Hill, while Milan brought an offense featuring an outstanding running back in Ron Spears.

“How did you get so tall?”

Good luck finding that contact lens.

Chelsea endured a disheartening start to the game when a member of the kick coverage unit took a 15-yard personal foul, giving Milan not just better field position, but a healthy dose of early momentum as well; they made good use of that momentum, marching down the field and scoring a touchdown to take an early 7-0 lead. On its first drive, the offense failed to be the cure for what ailed the Bulldogs as it walked off the field pointless, and the mood on the Chelsea sideline did not improve.

Playing from behind? That’s unpossible!

Fortunately, the defense realized that the state government did not introduce a new tax on tackling, so the next Milan possession was fruitless. Also, the possession after that was fruitless. And the next one, too. In fact, Milan didn’t have another successful drive in the first half, and the Chelsea offense showed its deep appreciation by scoring a touchdown of its own — a three-yard pass to Donny Riedel — in the second quarter. The extra point was not so extra, so Milan still held a slim 7-6 lead at halftime, but it seemed that the 63-headed Chelsea monster had awakened.

Nowhere to run to, baby; nowhere to hide.

Is Ron Spears eating Scott Rhodes’ hand? That’s a new one.

The second half was a crazy combination of great and terrible. The great occurred when Chelsea drove down the field in the third quarter and scored a touchdown — a one-yard Jeff Adams run — to take the lead for the first time in the game; a successful two-point conversion — also an Adams run — gave Chelsea a 14-7 lead and a new confidence in its ability to win the game. People were smiling, flowers were blooming, the economy was improving … and then The Block happened.

On a Milan running play, Tyler Ball was on the bad end of a thunderous (and legal) block that sent him flying through the air with the greatest of surprise; when he hit the ground, it wasn’t with his feet. That he didn’t immediately stand up after an impact of that magnitude was not surprising; what hushed the entire crowd was that the medical staff stabilized his head and neck and strapped him to a backboard. The sight of a player leaving the field on a stretcher is among the most frightening sights in football.

This is always frightening; fortunately, he wasn’t seriously injured.

Though the sight was frightening at the time, it was not as bad as it first appeared; Ball landed awkwardly and was complaining of neck pain, and the medical staff rightly took every precaution to be sure he was not seriously injured. As it turns okay, Ball is fine; in fact, he will be playing this Friday. As a result, people may resume smiling, flowers may resume blooming, and the economy may resume improving. (Please?)

The Block may have cost Chelsea a linebacker, but it didn’t faze the Bulldog defense; the Milan offense gained only one first down on that drive. In fact, there wasn’t much that fazed the Bulldog defense the entire evening; after allowing the opening touchdown, the defense rendered Milan completely, utterly, unwaveringly pointless the rest of the the game. And with time winding down in the fourth quarter, the Chelsea offense thanked the defense by putting together a crucial drive — including clutch third-down catches by Riedel and Hill — that ended with a four-yard touchdown run by Adams with just over one minute left in the game. This extra point was not so extra, either, but the touchdown took any remaining wind out of Milan’s sails and sealed the victory for the Bulldogs.

Seven defenders; one running back. This can’t end well.

Leftovers:

• In the matter of Hill v. Spears, the court rules in favor of Hill. Spears ran for 113 yards and a touchdown, giving him over 2,000 rushing yards on the season. However, Hill ran for 153 yards, and while he may not have scored any points, he made major contributions to two of Chelsea’s three touchdowns; prior to the second and third touchdowns, he made key third-down plays to set up first and goal situations. Simply put, Hill had more of an impact on the game’s outcome than did Spears. And that’s partly because in Chelsea, the defense doesn’t rest.

• On the strength of a 60-yard advantage in rushing, the Chelsea offense had the edge in total yardage this week, 321 to 286.

• In addition to Ball’s ambulance ride, there was another notable loss: center Kyle Raymond injured his knee and did not return. Unlike Ball, he is not expected to play this week.

• This 9-0 season is Chelsea’s fourth undefeated regular season in the last eight years; this playoff appearance is Chelsea’s ninth consecutive (99-07).

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Indians of Tecumse–wait, didn’t we do this already? Oh well. The first-round playoff game is in Chelsea at 7:00 on Friday.

JV: d. by Pioneer 28-14; 4-4 (3-4 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Pioneer 42-22; 4-3-1 (3-3-1 SEC)

DJ Conrad does not believe you are the real McCoy.

In the SEC, Ann Arbor Pioneer is a giant among men. Its enrollment of more than 3,000 makes it the largest in the state, and it dwarfs the vast majority of A schools; out of 186 A football schools, only seven exceed 2,500, and Pioneer is the only school to exceed 3,000. Unfortunately for Pioneer, Chelsea is a nimble, elusive man that knows how to win football games; despite having three times the enrollment of Chelsea (2007 enrollment: 3,204 to 1,005), Pioneer has not yet managed to defeat the Bulldogs in football. Even last year, when Chelsea had its top receiver starting at quarterback and its backup JV quarterback behind him, Pioneer still fell six points short of its first varsity football victory over the Bulldogs. (In an interview after last year’s game, the Pioneer athletic director exclaimed, “A win! A win! My state championships for a football win over Chelsea!”)

In addition to its curious football futility against Chelsea, Ann Arbor Pioneer has one other notable feature: it is the Boutrous Boutrous-Ghali of the SEC. Back in 1936, when there was only one Ann Arbor high school, the Pioneer mascot was chosen; when the current school building was built in the 1950s, the Pioneer name also was applied to the school, effectively giving the world the Ann Arbor Pioneer Pioneers. (When this information was released to the public, many speculated that the city had quietly negotiated a lucrative deal with Wrigley, the makers of Doublemint Gum.)

Of course, when the leaves drop and the temperature changes colors, history takes a backseat to football, and Chelsea had to conclude its 2007 conference schedule against the Fighting Redundancies. This game had the potential to be a trap game for Chelsea; Pioneer brought a 2-5 record into the game, and Chelsea’s final regular-season game will be against Milan and its Studly Stud McStuderson 1,930-yards-in-eight-games running back, Ron Spears. But two of those five Pioneer losses were forfeits due to the participation of an illegal player early in the season, and two more of those losses were last-minute losses against two of the better SEC teams, so that 2-5 record came with more grains of salt than a stadium pretzel. And as this season of college football has shown, every game can be dangerous for an undefeated team.

Sorry, Nick Hill, but they already played the national anthem.

The first few minutes did not bode well for the Chelsea defense; Pioneer took possession and marched down the field, and it looked like the early lead would belong to A2P2. But deep in its own territory, the defense got Pioneer into a fourth down situation, and the field goal attempt failed like the kicking unit was wearing maize and blue. With that crisis averted, the Chelsea offense took control and did almost exactly the same thing, except for one minor little detail: the kick was good.

Michael Roberts and Scott Rhodes have plans for you. You, and your little football, too.

The world stands still when Chris Schmelz runs.

Even though two lengthy drives resulted in a paltry three points, the opening glut of yardage for both teams made it seem as though the game would be one of those newfangled high-scoring offensive battles; however, that was not meant to be the story of the first half. Aside from a Nick Hill touchdown run and a 42-yard Pioneer field goal, pointiness remained nearly as scarce as thoughtful dialogue in politics; Chelsea took a 10-6 lead into halftime, but Pioneer took a glimmer of hope into the second half.

“If you don’t make that call next time, I won’t be your friend on Facebook.”

Stop! In the name of Taylor Hopkins, before you gain a yard.

As usual, the defense is late to Donny Riedel’s party.

That glimmer of hope remained through the third quarter as Pioneer limited Chelsea to only one touchdown (and no extra points) and responded with yet another field goal; through three quarters, Chelsea had only a 16-9 lead. But brilliant mathematicians will tell you that typically, when you’re answering touchdowns with field goals, you’re going to end up a bit short. Especially when you’re playing against an offense that has the ability to stage scoring drives exactly when it needs them. (Now, whether or not it can do the same when it doesn’t need them … well, that’s another topic.)

Cal Bauer scares even the Incredible Hulk.

Every move you make, every breath you take, Rhodes is watching you.

When the fourth quarter arrived, it became apparent that the Pioneer defense had expended its energy over the previous three quarters; it didn’t take long for Chelsea put together a scoring drive to boost its lead to 14. But as quickly as hope flickered for the purple people, it re-ignited when Pioneer put together its own scoring drive to cut the lead back to seven. But when the Chelsea offense took possession after that touchdown — Pioneer’s first (and last) of the day — it doused Pioneer’s hope with a drive capped by an impressive 21-yard touchdown run by Hill to close the scoring.

Leftovers:

• The Chelsea offense outgained another opponent; this time, the margin was 14 yards (310 to 296). However, Pioneer out-firstdowned Chelsea, 15 to 16.

• Nick Hill watch: the sophomore contributed over half of Chelsea’s total yardage (193 rushing yards — 139 in the second half) and all four of Chelsea’s touchdowns.

• Quarterback Jeff Adams gave Chelsea fans another scare this week. After one of his longer runs, he was slow to get back up; when he did, he was in obvious pain, and he was holding his arm. However, he was back on the field for Chelsea’s next drive.

• Sadly, players on both teams got hot under the collar and loud in the mouth during the game. At one point, the officials stopped the game to talk to both teams about their conduct on the field; unfortunately, it didn’t accomplish much, as the jabbering continued throughout the game. I hope this does not carry over to next week and to the playoffs; even one personal foul can be devastating.

• During one Chelsea drive, I was standing near the Ann Arbor News photographer; after another solid run up the middle, the photographer looked at me and said, “You guys are good, but you sure are boring!”

Next week:
Chelsea concludes the regular season by facing the Big Reds of Milan; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00PM.

JV: d. by Dexter 14-6; 4-3 (3-3 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Dexter 41-20; 4-2-1 (3-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 7-0 (6-0 SEC)

They’re big; he’s little.

When it comes to high school sports, we here in Chelsea love the Dexter Dreadnaughts. Of course, when I say “love,” I mean “never, ever want to lose to”; this is because Dexter functions as Chelsea’s Ohio State. (Did you notice how Chelsea is the local favorite and Dexter is the out-of-town enemy in that metaphor? I know what I’m doing here.) Many sporting events between the schools are a little bit more heated and a little bit more exciting; last year provided several outstanding examples of the ongoing rivalry. The final regular-season basketball game between the schools packed Dexter’s gym, and the crowd noise during the overtime thriller left my ears ringing; the hockey playoff game between the schools held the same sort of energy on a smaller scale, and it also went into overtime. Oh, and the schools met in the baseball playoffs, too; that game — also a nailbiter — drew another smaller but similarly excited crowd.

But even as Dexter athletics in general have flourished, the Dexter football program has not achieved that same level of success. Recent history has been particularly unkind to the Dreadnaughts; over the last ten years, as Chelsea has hit its stride, Dexter football has averaged under three wins per season. These struggles have translated into an 11-game streak of Chelsea victories (1996-2006), and that streak has made for a seemingly odd rivalry in which both schools still care about the games despite the fact that Dexter hasn’t beaten Chelsea in football since this year’s seniors were five or six years old.

Ah, but this is the beauty of high school sports rivalries: they can be bigger than just one sport. There may be a gap between the football programs, but on the whole, the Chelsea and Dexter athletic departments are close enough to perpetuate a rivalry. And multi-sport athletes only encourage the rivalry; each time they lose in one sport, they gain a greater determination to win in their next sport. That football player on the losing end wants to win in basketball or hockey; that basketball or hockey player on the losing end wants to win in baseball. Graduation brings an end to each individual cycle of defeat and determination, but there are always more athletes starting that cycle anew each year.

Fortunately for the football rivalry, Dexter football has started to show signs of life. This became abundantly clear last year when Dexter came within nine seconds of ending Chelsea’s winning streak; it took a Jeff Adams touchdown pass to Nate Schwarze to shock the prematurely exultant Dexter students and give Chelsea a narrow 33-29 victory. The close finish reminded Chelsea to take Dexter seriously — a necessary reminder after a string of particularly lopsided games — and it injected more life into the football side of the rivalry. In the light of that game, and because Dexter’s cartoony ship mascot bears some resemblance to the mighty Trogdor, this year’s meeting had all kinds of scary written all over it for the undefeated Bulldogs.

Brad Bush tells Jeff Adams he just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

Sam Birgy shall lay to waste all who dare interfere with Nick Hill.

Just like last week, the game started well for Chelsea. For much of the first half, the Chelsea defense took its usual anti-yardage stance, and the Chelsea offense took advantage of two generous Dexter turnovers to build a 14-0 lead. It wasn’t a gigantic lead, but with the way Dexter’s offense seemed to be struggling against Chelsea’s defense, it seemed substantial enough. But on the horizon was a less encouraging similarity to last week: a collapse late in the first half. A timely punt return put Dexter in position to score, and with only 23 seconds left in the first half, the Dreadnaughts cut Chelsea’s lead in half.

‘Cause we got a mighty convoy, rockin’ through the night.

Scott Naab, Jeff Adams and Nick Hill discuss Michigan’s economic struggles.

Much like fame, 14-point leads can be fleeting.

Last week’s halftime collapse resulted in an early second-half touchdown for Saline; as the teams took the field for the second half, the Chelsea faithful hoped that little tidbit of history would not repeat itself. But this week, though Chelsea’s halftime doldrums continued, they seemed to be new and improved doldrums — now with fewer points allowed! — that yielded only one Dexter field goal. That seemed to bring the team back to life and back to reality; at the end of an impressive drive, Chelsea answered Dexter’s adorable little field goal with a touchdown, and the lead was back to eleven. And while eleven is not as good as fourteen, it’s certainly better than four. And, of course, all of those numbers are better than negative numbers, which aren’t really numbers, but instead are cruel little Terrell Owenses performing touchdown celebrations on your hopes and dreams. In other words, it’s good to have the lead.

Stu Mann enjoys long walks on your quarterback.

Grant Fanning sends his love to the defense.

Even after that touchdown, the game wasn’t done being interesting. Not by a long shot, or even by a 12-yard pass, which is exactly what Dexter used to score a touchdown to keep hope alive. After a failed two-point conversion attempt, the lead was back down to five, and a five-point lead — which is so totally less than a six-point touchdown — registers a thrilling eight white knuckles on my Fourth Quarter Stress Scale. But like a soothing muscle relaxant, the Chelsea running game brought the color back into my knuckles as it ran through the Dexter defense to devour the remainder of the fourth quarter, and that five-point lead proved to be enough to keep the Bulldogs undefeated.

You can quote Brad Bush on that.

Leftovers:

• Here’s a fun one: Chelsea’s total offensive output was 231 yards, which happens to be exactly the same as Dexter’s total offensive output. (In case you were curious, that is according to the Ann Arbor News.)

• It seems like I mention Nick Hill every week, but it also seems like I have good reason to do so; this week, that good reason is his three touchdowns. Math-minded sports fans may have already realized this, but that accounts for every touchdown Chelsea scored this week. (I almost said it accounts for all 21 Chelsea points, but then I realized that would be insulting to the placekicker.)

• As a Michigan fan, I’m just not on board with Dexter’s use of the Michigan helmet design. If they had the right colors, I wouldn’t mind it; however, their colors are those of Minnesota, a Big Ten school whose name is not the University of Michigan. I suppose it’s not as bad as it would be if Dexter’s colors were green and white or red and gray; still, it doesn’t look right.

• At one point during the game, the Dexter student section held up a sign that made me laugh; it said, “Mike Vick the Bulldogs.” Though the accusations against Vick are serious, the sign was a creative change of pace from the usual rah-rah kick-’em-in-the-shins sentiments.

• It seems Tecumseh celebrated Arena Football Appreciation Day on Friday; the Indians defeated the Railsplitters 72-42. Defense? What’s that? It must be some antiquated 20th-century concept.

• Finally, on a more serious note, due to the resignation of the entire freshman coaching staff, Saline has canceled the remainder of its freshman football season. The staff resigned in protest of superintendent Beverly Geltner’s decision to reinstate a player who had been suspended six weeks earlier; from what I’m told, the coaches were justified in suspending the player, and the majority of the parents supported the coaches’ decision. Maybe there is some important detail that hasn’t come to light; maybe the superintendent had some good reason — threatened litigation or a couple angry parents don’t qualify — to step over the athletic director and the entire football coaching staff to reinstate a player. But if she didn’t have any real reason to do so, then she succeeded only in destroying the freshman team and damaging Saline football. And if that is the case, then this situation is a real shame.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Pioneers of, uh, Pioneer; the game is at Pioneer at 7:00PM. Also, after using it three times in one sentence, I am tired of the word Pioneer. Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer Pioneer.

JV: d. by Saline, 7-13; 4-2 (3-2 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Saline, 27-48; 3-2-1 (2-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 6-0 (5-0 SEC)

For the most part, the SEC is populated by mascots that range from magnificent to innocuous; the lone exception to that rule is one of Chelsea’s strongest football rivals: the Saline Hornets. Bulldogs are appealingly fierce; Pioneers are adventurous; Dreadnaughts are warships; Kicking Mules are stubborn and, um, kicking; Maples are majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves. But Hornets don’t possess any such impressive or appealing qualities; instead, they’re invasive, ill-tempered pests that bring out the exterminator in everybody. (In general, the actual people in Saline are not invasive, ill-tempered pests, so that mascot isn’t particularly representative. Of course, the actual people in Adrian aren’t majestic trees with Canada-shaped leaves, either, so I guess that’s not important.)

Despite possessing a mascot that is terrible at making friends, Saline has a strong football program; its overall winning percentage of .624 is just below Chelsea’s .649, and since 1955, it has a 29-21-3 record against Chelsea, making the Hornets strong rivals indeed.

Main Street Coney Island knows where its bread is buttered. So to speak.

Last year’s game was problematic for Chelsea for two reasons: first, quarterback John Seelbach tore his ACL in the third quarter, and second, Chelsea lost. But in a fashion sense, last year’s game was problematic for Saline: thanks to their monochromatic uniforms, they looked a bit like blueberries wearing helmets. Seriously: contrast is a good thing. Put stripes on the pants or something. Please? Thank you.

This year’s game looked like a good opportunity for Chelsea to end its two-game losing streak to Saline; Chelsea was enjoying a 5-0 record thanks to a strong running game and a good defense, and Saline — in addition to having let Vince Helmuth graduate — was on its backup quarterback and was coming off a loss to Tecumseh, a team Chelsea already defeated. But for that favorable situation to translate into a victory, Chelsea had to remember that Saline was no pushover. (Saline helped by not looking like blueberries this year; instead, they wore eye-catching yellow jerseys and changed their name to the Fighting Penalty Flags. And half of that is really actually totally true!)

Look, ma! They’re on TV!

And radio!

The first 18 minutes went very well for Chelsea; aside from one long touchdown pass, the defense handled Saline’s offense, and Chelsea’s offense moved with pleasant efficiency, scoring on three of its first four possessions. When Chelsea held a 26-7 lead late in the second quarter, it was beginning to look as though it would be a rout. But then one disastrous sequence brought Saline right back into the game.

Tyler Ball makes every road a dead end.

Seriously. Nick Hill is getting tired of all these attempted tackles. Go knit a sweater or something.

Stu Mann just wants to know your shirt size.

The sequence began with a crucial play by Chelsea’s defense; Saline was driving late in the second, and a touchdown seemed inevitable. But then a Saline ball carrier fumbled inside the 10, and Chelsea took possession with the opportunity to run almost all the time off the clock and escape with that 19-point lead. A three-and-out left some time on the clock, but a good punt would make it difficult for Saline to score; of course, that notion was dependent upon a good Chelsea punt, and unfortunately, the punt was far from good. Saline took possession in Chelsea territory and, just a few plays later, scored a touchdown. After a successful two-point conversion, the lead was down to 26-15, and all the momentum was in Saline’s favor.

Jake Galarowic and Taylor Hopkins stop, collaborate and tackle.

You can’t spell “special Brian Montoye teams” without Brian Montoye.

They’re not bloodthirsty zombies; they just love quarterbacks.

For a while, the second half didn’t look much more promising; Saline returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown, and what once was a dominating 21-point lead was down to four. But just when Chelsea fans became most nervous, the Chelsea offense — anchored by its running game, which ended up producing 341 yards — drove for a much-needed touchdown to push the lead back to 11. That seemed to put the Bulldogs back in the right frame of mine; Saline managed to put the ball in the end zone one more time, but Chelsea answered that with another touchdown of its own to end the scoring.

Nick Hill is steaming, but he’s not mad.

On TV, Jake Galarowic’s jersey number is 10/9 Central.

Leftovers:

• Unlike the last two weeks, the Chelsea offense actually outgained its opponent this week! And not just by a few yards, either. Chelsea gained 421 yards to Saline’s 260 yards, thanks largely to the aforementioned mountain of rushing yardage. Oh, and also in the new and improved department, Chelsea out-firstdowned Saline, too, 17 to 11. (Yes, I said out-firstdowned.)

• Nick Hill dominated the stat sheet this week; of 341 yards rushing and six touchdowns, he contributed 210 yards and four touchdowns.

• At 6-0, Chelsea has qualified for the playoffs for the ninth consecutive season.

• Chelsea and Saline are two of the stronger programs in the area, so the game attracted plenty of attention; 1600 WAAM broadcast the game live, Fox Sports Net and State Champs sent crews to gather footage, and W4 Country ran a contest at halftime.

• Speaking of W4 Country, I have a bit of a bone to pick with the crew they sent to the game. They brought their van and set up a tent outside the stadium entrance, which is all well and good; however, they set up the van and tent in the handicap parking, taking up three parking spots in the process. Those spots are there for a good reason, and no part of that reason involves radio station promotions.

• Full game gallery. Prints available through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Dreadnaughts of Dexter; the game is in Chelsea at 7:00PM.

JV: d. Lincoln 55-8; 4-1 (3-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. Lincoln 47-14; 2-2-1 (1-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 5-0 (4-0 SEC)

Ground control to Major Bush; take your protein pills and put your helmet on.

Scott Naab isn’t easily distracted; he’s made from concentrate.

When it comes to football, despite having an excellent mascot — an ax-wielding U.S. president! — Lincoln has had more struggles than success. The history of Railsplitter football is not overflowing with victories, but the last decade in particular offers a stark picture of a program mired in a very deep depression. From 1997 through 2006, the statistics show:

• Overall record: 19-76 (a winning percentage of .200)
• Two winning seasons (1997, 1998)
• Eight seasons of 2 wins or fewer

The numbers are fully representative of the reality: Lincoln football is a mess. Over the last three and a half seasons (including this year’s game against Chelsea), Lincoln has gone a miserable 1-31, with the lone victory coming in 2003 against a Dexter team that also finished 1-8. And many of those losses haven’t even been competitive; Lincoln’s average margin of defeat in that time period is 34 points.

This litany of futility is in no way intended as an insult to Lincoln football; I do not take joy in seeing high school football programs mired in such a sad state. But with Lincoln in the SEC, it’s something we in Chelsea can’t really forget; Chelsea has defeated Lincoln by an average of 33 points since 1999 (including this year’s game), and as one of the previous statistics showed, Chelsea isn’t alone in achieving lopsided defeats of Lincoln. Something is severely broken in the football program, and for the sake of the athletes at Lincoln, the losing culture of Lincoln football needs to be changed. That is neither an easy nor a short process, but it is possible; I hope to see another competitive Railsplitter football team before another decade passes. It would be good for everyone.

I’ll leave the opinionated analysis of the successes and failures in the Lincoln athletic department for someone more credibly able to detail them; regardless of the state of Lincoln football, there was a game Friday.

Dean Roberts had a snack, but he’s still hungry.

On Friday, I was concerned that Chelsea players and fans may have arrived at the facility on Willis Road in a dangerous mindset. The previous week’s game against Adrian was a hard-fought victory, the following week’s game will bring Saline to Jerry Niehaus Field, and the last time Lincoln was competitive with Chelsea was back when the current seniors were nine years old; between the strong teams bookending the Lincoln game and the cupcakerous tendencies of the Railsplitters, this game would have been easy to overlook. I knew it would take a lot of overlooking for Chelsea to lose this game, and I knew the coaches had done everything they could to keep the players’ minds on Lincoln, but … well, I was at the stadium for Michigan’s loss to Appalachian State, so I think I am justified in being mildly paranoid. Happy thoughts … Notre Dame … Penn State … Mike Hart … okay, back to Chelsea.

Chris Schmelz distracts a defender with Zoolander‘s Blue Steel look.

If Sam Birgy closes his eyes, you can’t see Nick Hill (32) and Jeff Adams!

Excuse me, but Tyler Ball would like to discuss something with your quarterback.

Is this official a Texas Longhorns fan, or does he just want to rock on?

The opening kickoff certainly helped allay my fears of a fatally distracted team; Chris Schmelz took the opening kickoff and ran, Forrest, ran for 82 yards to open up a quick 7-0 lead. The rest of the first half featured four more Chelsea touchdowns, including a highlight-reel one-handed touchdown catch by Schmelz, a thoroughly enjoyable 64-yard touchdown pass from Michael Lenneman — who, by the way, isn’t the quarterback — to Donny Riedel, and an outstanding 71-yard touchdown run (that was described to me by a friend as something out of a video game) by quarterback Jeff Adams; at halftime, Chelsea held a comfortable 34-7 lead, and all was well in Bulldogland. Well, it was an away game, so I suppose all was well in Portable Bulldogland.

Randy Cox is not afraid to show affection on the football field.

With no defenders in sight, Jeff Adams is forced to stiff-arm his own teammate.

In the second half, Chelsea coach Brad Bush brought in substitutes, and Chelsea fans started to get a good look at Lincoln’s developing young Studly Stud McStuderson, sophomore quarterback Andrew Dillon. He had shown flashes of ability both to throw good passes and to get out of trouble with his feet in the first half, but the Chelsea defense was strong enough — and, occasionally, his receivers were droppy enough — to limit the Lincoln offense to one scoring drive late in the first half; in the second half, Dillon began to showcase his immense potential by leading the Railsplitters to three touchdowns in the second half. He had help from speedy running back Travis Davidson, but Dillon himself displayed ability that could make him a good foundation for a competitive football team. If the Lincoln staff develops a team around him, he could lead them to a few more wins over the next two years.

With one mighty gesture, Grant Fanning can change entire defenses.

Steven O’Keefe is coming for you. Especially if your name is End Zone.

When Dillon wasn’t on the field being all capable and stuff, the Chelsea offense was in the hands of junior quarterback Randy Cox; he made sure Dillon’s efforts didn’t morph into heroics by leading Chelsea to two more touchdowns, one a pass to Jason Kolokithas and the other a 1-yard keeper. Those touchdowns were more than enough to seal another Chelsea victory, keeping the team undefeated and putting it one win away from ensuring a ninth consecutive playoff appearance.

No, Riley Feeney is not interested in any peace treaty, thank you very much.

Leftovers:

• Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent. This time, the margin was a bit larger; Lincoln gained 477 yards, while Chelsea gained 422. But yet again, Chelsea won.

• During the game, I talked to Wayne Welton, Chelsea’s baseball coach; he informed me that Dillon pitched a 1-0 shutout of Chelsea last spring. Seriously, he’s good.

• As you can see in the above pictures, Lincoln’s football uniforms bear a strong resemblance to the Detroit Lions’ throwback uniforms. I am a fan of the Lions’ throwbacks, so that’s fine by me.

• Full game gallery. Prints available through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Hornets of Saline; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM.

JV: d. Adrian 16-13; 3-1 (2-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Adrian 15-20; 1-2-1 (0-2-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity 2007 record: 4-0 (3-0 SEC)

Michael Cooper gazes longingly into the distance and thinks of touchdowns.

When I work during the national anthem, I’m looking for shots like this one.

Your mom plays football for Chelsea.

Many schools choose mascots that have some sort of actively fierce quality — bulldogs are known for tenacity and fearlessness, pirates are known for their ruthlessness (but not for their resemblance to Johnny Depp), hornets are known for being pests — but Adrian football, like a certain poisonous nut school south of here, labors under the banner of an inanimate mascot. So, instead of the Adrian Fierce Animals, Ill-Tempered People or Unpleasant Insects, the football team takes the field each Friday as the Adrian Maples. And I don’t know about you, but that makes me think of syrup. And Canada. Oh, Canada.

Despite that syrupy sweet mascot with strong roots and aesthetically pleasing leaves, Adrian football has been a solidly consistent program; it has posted eight consecutive winning seasons with an average of over 7 wins each year, and after a 3-0 start in 2007, another winning season appears within reach. And since 2000, Adrian has posted a respectable 3-4 record against Chelsea (not including this year), whereas Dexter and Lincoln haven’t beaten Chelsea since 1995 and 1997 respectively, and Bedford has never beaten Chelsea. (Dexter nearly ended that streak last year.)

Over the years, I have become accustomed to seeing Adrian offenses that have been an effective hybrid between Tecumseh’s current offense and more typical offenses that do not keep the forward pass in a glass case that says “EMERGENCY USE ONLY”; there always seemed to be some big bruising running back ready to run straight into the line and gain five yards without really trying and ten yards with some effort, but there was more than enough of a passing game to keep the defensive secondary awake. If transferred to another hasty Photoshop diagram, my memories of the typical Adrian offense in years past would look something like this:

Last year, Adrian’s offense got all pass-happy due to the presence of quarterback Steve Threet, who was good enough to catch the attention of Georgia Tech. But despite high expectations brought on by the arm of Threet, Adrian managed only a 6-4 record, which included a first-round playoff loss. This year, the offense did not return to its Incredible Hulkingback self, but instead adapted to its new starting quarterback, who, unlike Threet and his Navarre-like lead feet, is so capable of making plays with his feet that he has already run for 200 yards against Michigan. That quarterback, Brent Ohrman, directed Adrian to a 3-0 start this season, making Friday’s game a clash of unbeatens. (As well as a clash of persistent dogs and really good shade trees highly valued for pancake-based applications.)

The pregame didn’t bode well for Adrian; as the teams were warming up, the announcer welcomed “the Chelsea Dreadnaughts.” The Dreadnaughts moniker does not belong to Chelsea; instead, it belongs to Dexter, one of Chelsea’s biggest sports rivals. That mix-up is essentially the local high school sports equivalent of welcoming the Michigan Buckeyes or the Notre Dame Trojans. The announcer quickly corrected himself, but the damage was done, and the Chelsea crowd was not particularly happy.

Jeff Adams is not being tackled; he is levitating. Gravity cannot stop him.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me watch football. And that makes me happy.

And he was all like yeah, I’m going to run downfield. And Taylor Hopkins was all like um, no.

The first quarter went a long way towards helping Chelsea forget that incident. The Adrian offense struggled to gain meaningful yardage, and after 3-yard and 53-yard Nick Hill touchdown runs, Chelsea had a 14-0 lead. However, Chelsea also squandered opportunities; the ineffectiveness of Adrian’s offense gave Chelsea consistently good field position that, ideally, would have resulted in more than 14 points. The night prior, Chelsea’s JV had squandered good opportunities and ended up with a 16-13 victory on a last-second field goal; as I watched the varsity fail to capitalize on field position and momentum, I hoped the game wouldn’t come down to the last second. But Adrian could manage nothing more than a field goal in the first half, and Chelsea held an encouraging 14-3 halftime lead.

The second half had an even more encouraging start; the Chelsea offense marched down the field, and Hill dragged a would-be tackler into the end zone to score his third touchdown of the night on a 5-yard run. That touchdown gave Chelsea a somewhat commanding 21-3 lead, and everyone in the blue and gold was feeling good. But it was still only the third quarter, and Adrian was not yet ready to concede the game. Not long after that touchdown, the Chelsea offense stalled deep in its own territory, and Jeff Adams had to punt from his own end zone; the Adrian defense managed to block the punt and recover it in the end zone for a touchdown, cutting Chelsea’s lead to 21-10 and making the Chelsea faithful just a little bit nervous.

Dean Roberts looks hungry.

Nick Hill will break your tackle. Just like he will break you.

First down? The Chelsea offense needs no first down.

Donny Riedel cuts like a knife through the buttery goodness of your defense.

To make the Chelsea faithful even more nervous, the Chelsea offense began to sputter after the early third-quarter touchdown drive. Consistent yardage and first downs became scarce, resulting in short drives that didn’t give the defense much time to breathe; considering the fancy feet of Ohrman, the fatigue of the defense was a major concern. And Ohrman seemed to find a rhythm in the second half, moving around the field and making a few too many plays. But time and time again, the defense stood tall and made stops and forced turnovers, and Adrian was unable to score a single offensive point in the second half; thanks in large part to those second-half defensive stands, and because Tecumseh upset Saline that same evening, Chelsea walked off the field as the only unbeaten team in the SEC.

James Connelly is Batman.

Leftovers:

• Though Ohrman was good at leaving Chelsea’s defense frustrated, Nick Hill actually outrushed Adrian as a whole. Hill accumulated 137 yards; Adrian accumulated 120.

• Chelsea’s rushing game had a productive day (226 yards), but the passing game never got going (23 yards). Adrian threw for 146 yards, but couldn’t finish drives thanks to the Chelsea defense; despite several possessions in Chelsea territory in the fourth quarter, the offense ended up contributing only three points, and those came in the first half.

• Yet again, Chelsea was outgained by its opponent: Adrian gained 266 yards, while Chelsea gained 249. Adrian also had five more first downs (18 to 13).

• Heard during Thursday’s freshmen game: after one penalty, an irked parent (who happened to be from Adrian) shouted, “Make it fair for the kids!” Ah, the tragedy of a pass interference call. Save the children. Or read my thoughts from last year and stop yelling at the refs; your holding your tongue (or at the very least lowering your voice) and setting a decent example for your kids is more important than a penalty that may or may not be a debatable call.

• Heard after Friday’s game: as I was walking out of the stadium, I passed two paramedics who were talking to another man. As I walked by, one of the paramedics was telling the man, “We don’t clean up after dead bodies.” I’m not sure I want any context for that one.

• Adrian’s football stadium has been around for quite a while, and in many ways it is one of my favorite local stadiums. But I have one major gripe with it. The field has no track around it, which is something I always like to see; it brings the fans closer and gives the stadium a better atmosphere. But the seating areas were placed just a few feet too close to the field, making the sidelines a bit cramped and making the knee-high wall a real danger to players when they are forced out of bounds. On one occasion when Adams was chased out of bounds, he was unable to stop before he hit the wall; he happened to hit a crack in the wall, and while he (fortunately) escaped serious injury, he did end up with a cut on his lower leg. I realize the school district can’t make the sidelines any larger without a severely costly and impractical renovation, but I do have one suggestion: bring in padding for the concrete walls.

• Full game gallery. Prints available for purchase through Burrill Strong Photography.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Railsplitters of Lincoln; the game is at Lincoln on Friday at 7:00 PM.

JV: d. Tecumseh 28-14; 2-1 (1-1 SEC)
Freshmen: tied Tecumseh 48-48; 1-1-1 (0-1-1 SEC)

Chelsea Varsity Football 2007 record: 3-0 (2-0 SEC)

John Hillaker is staring into your soul. And tackling it in the backfield.

Sure, they’re quiet now, but it won’t last.

Earlier this decade, Tecumseh football was enjoying a period of success that occurred largely due to a series of two superlative athletes. But as they are prone to do, the Studly Stud McStudersons expended their high school eligibility — I would say McStudersons are prone to graduate, but Jim Harbaugh might yell at me — and moved on to other pursuits. Without those talents to light up the scoreboard, Tecumseh football began a slide that eventually sent the football coach out the door.

Fortunately for the black and orange, the arrival of a new coach signaled the start of a new chapter in Tecumseh football this season. Unfortunately for photographers, videographers and almost everyone else who enjoys being able to follow a football game, the new coach installed an overwhelmingly high schoolesque offensive scheme that hearkens back to the days when the forward pass was an act of rebellion. Those of you familiar with high school football likely are familiar with the scheme: it features one quarterback (who functions as more of a football vending machine than anything else), three running backs, five offensive linemen and two tight ends. And no wide receivers. Ever. (Unless one of the tight ends happens to be particularly oversized and has good hands. But I think that’s a different sort of wide.)

For comparison, if transferred to a hasty Photoshop diagram, on any given play, Chelsea’s offense might look something like this:

Meanwhile, on pretty much every play, the Tecumseh offense looks a lot like this:

With infrequent exceptions, offensive plays from this scheme tend to follow this progression:

1. The center snaps the ball.
2. The quarterback turns around and waves the ball at each of the three running backs.
3. One of the running backs actually takes the ball and almost immediately makes a sharp turn into the offensive line and disappears in a cocoon that, since it consists of both offensive and defensive players, is at once protective and harmful. (Metaphysically-inclined football players struggle in this offense, since they tend to be distracted by that delicious contradiction.)
4. The cocoon moves three to five yards down the field and stops, at which point the officials, who are desperately trying to see anything other than a mass of bodies, blow the whistle under the assumption that the ball carrier either is down or has been consumed by ravenous linemen. Either way, the play is over, so blowing it dead is the safe move.
5. Rinse. Repeat.

Most exceptions occur when the offense executes a play that is actually designed to send the ball carrier to the mysterious land beyond the tight ends, and a few exceptions even happen to involve that nifty forward pass thing the kids are all talking about nowadays, but most plays end with a pile of 22 players in the middle of the field. Unless something goes horribly right (or wrong, depending on your perspective), in which case the pile of 22 players ends up in the wilderness outside the hash marks.

This offense has its advantages, one of which is that defensive players not in possession of x-ray vision — so, you know, all of them — may have a hard time seeing who has the ball, so they are in danger of tackling players who aren’t carrying the ball. (Aside from being obnoxious, this also gets to be a bit taxing.) Of course, this offense also has its disadvantages, one of which is that the most realistically successful options for third and 15 all involve punting. (In the CFL, that joke wouldn’t be funny. Look out for those goalposts! They’re in the end zone!)

Chelsea football players do not have a fear of commitment.

Was I lying on the ground? Yes. Why? I don’t remember.

Last Friday, Tecumseh brought its ploddingly thrilling new offense to the new Jerry Niehaus turf with the intent of pulling an upset the likes of which the football world hasn’t seen since the last two Saturdays. (Don’t throw things at me; I’m a Michigan fan.) And for a while, it seemed the Indians might have the chance to do just that. Chelsea’s offense moved up and down the field with the usual greatest of ease, but Tecumseh managed to find the end zone at the same rate; at one point, the score was an uncomfortably close 14-12, with Tecumseh’s complete and utter lack of a kicking game — every touchdown was followed by a two-point attempt — providing the meager two-point lead. The assumption was that Chelsea would eventually build a comfortable margin, but … well, you know, [cynical Michigan football comment].

Jason Kolokithas will fight to the death to protect the ball carrier. Your death.

Michael Roberts feels the rain on his skin. No one else can feel it for him.

Kyle Raymond opens for no one. Not even sesame.

No, Jeff Adams will not give you a hug. He has an urgent appointment with the end zone.

John Mann speaks during the turf dedication ceremony.

Oh, they grow up so fast!

To the delight of Chelsea loyalists, that assumption actually proved to be correct; Tecumseh’s side of the scoreboard stayed static for a good long time, while Chelsea’s side remained happily dynamic. Not long after Tecumseh narrowed the deficit to two, Chelsea quarterback Jeff Adams once again lofted a deep pass into the waiting arms of Chris Schmelz, who, like Dash from The Incredibles, occasionally forgets to conceal his superhuman speed and finds himself running past entire defenses full of slow-footed mortals; Schmelz, of course, took the pass to the end zone to increase Chelsea’s lead to nine. The Chelsea offense went on to reduce coach Brad Bush’s stress level even more: Nick Hill and Adams both scored to pad the lead to a considerably more comfortable 35-12, and the game was practically over.

You dare lay a hand on Chris Schmelz? No, your hand is not fast enough.

Of course, “practically over” is not the same as “actually over,” a point Tecumseh did its best to illustrate by never giving up and never surrendering. After some mildly uninspiring play from the Bulldogs — including a lost fumble on the first play of a drive — and an Indian touchdown that wasn’t preceded by the typical ten-minute drive, the momentum was swinging back in Tecumseh’s direction, and the scoreboard displayed a somewhat less comfortable 35-20 Chelsea lead with far too much time left in the fourth quarter. But a Nick Hill touchdown — his fourth of the evening — pushed the lead to 41-20 and effectively sealed the victory for Chelsea. (Tecumseh did score another late touchdown, but it was not relevant to the game’s outcome.)

Taylor Hopkins (7) believes he can fly. He believes he can touch the sky.

Donny Riedel deigns to allow himself to be tackled, but only after a 10 yard gain.

Leftovers:

• Chelsea’s leading rusher has the last name of Hill; Tecumseh’s leading rusher has the last name of Hill; unsurprisingly, running backs named Hill scored six out of the ten touchdowns on Friday. Tecumseh’s Hill outgained Chelsea’s Hill 159 to 80, but the former also carried the ball 28 times for a per-carry average of 5.6, while the latter carried only six times for a per-carry average of 13.3. Also, Chelsea’s Hill scored four touchdowns (three rushing, one receiving), while Tecumseh’s Hill scored two. Since Tecumseh operates a thoroughly run-oriented offense, his high carry total is to be expected; still, 5.6ypc is a healthy average. For Chelsea, Hill’s workload and output were below normal, but his rate of scoring was more than healthy.

• Underscoring the runrunrunrunrunrunrunrun Tecumseh offense are the passing statistics: Tecumseh’s quarterback attempted only seven passes and completed four, while Adams attempted 20 and completed 11. However, Tecumseh’s completions were effective; the four completions went for 97 yards and a touchdown. Adams’ 11 completions went for 185 yards and two touchdowns.

• Perhaps most interesting are the total offensive output statistics: Tecumseh actually outgained Chelsea by 15 yards (391 to 376) and two first downs (15 to 13).

• An intermittent rain persisted through much of the first half of the game; it was less consistent than the rain during the Ypsi game, but it was enough to moisten everyone’s towelette. The rain stopped by halftime, but just a few minutes into the third quarter, the officials halted the game due to lightning. The voltage never struck too close to the field, but it was close enough that the delay lasted almost two hours. Fortunately, they were able to restart the game not too long after 10:00.

• Early in the third quarter, Chelsea’s Stu Mann went down with an injury. Injuries in and of themselves are not unusual, but from afar, this particular injury looked frighteningly serious; Mann did not appear to be moving at all for perhaps five minutes. Fortunately, it was not serious; Mann walked off the field under his own power and even came back to play the rest of the game after the lightning delay. But it is always terrifying to see a player who does not appear to be moving.

• The turf dedication ceremony occurred at halftime on Friday. It wasn’t complicated; all the donors gathered on the field, the man who spearheaded the fundraising effort gave a brief speech, and the players thanked the donors for their support of Chelsea football. I was hoping the donors would run a brief scrimmage, too, just to test the turf, but it was not in the plans. Maybe next time.

• Friday was also Future Bulldog night; all the seventh- and eighth-grade players were on the field for the pregame, and they received a bit of the spotlight at halftime.

• Thursday’s freshmen and JV games featured an officiating crew that had a propensity to blow whistles in the middle of plays for no real reason; I noticed two such instances, and I was later informed that there were a few more I missed. It certainly was a unique officiating philosophy. Does anyone out there know of a circumstance in which an official could actually stop a play? (I’m not talking about false start or other pre-snap dead ball penalties; these plays were stopped when the ball carrier was a few yards down the field and was not yet on the ground.)

• Full game gallery.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Maples of Adrian; the game is in Adrian on Friday at 7:00 PM.

JV: d. by Bedford 27-47; 1-1 (0-1 SEC)
Freshmen: d. by Bedford 13-29; 1-1 (0-1 SEC)

2007 Chelsea Varsity Football record: 2-0 (1-0 SEC)

Is Nick Avila really that big? Science has yet to answer that question.

For the players, the sign says “AESLEHC SGODLLUB.” Apparently that’s exciting.

Big Brothers are watching you. But only if you’re playing.

The new turf under the lights.

When the SEC reorganized after the departure of Pinckney and Milan, several new teams joined the conference; one of those teams was Bedford. I have always been wary of that school, but my wariness has nothing to do with their Kicking Mule mascot or their mildly nauseating Notre Dame fight song; no, I am wary of Bedford because of their all-too-distinct Ohio flavor. See, Bedford is located just a few miles north of the Ohio border, and when I travel there for football games, I begin to wonder if I didn’t accidentally drive too far south; between the red and gray uniforms on the field and the distressingly common Ohio State apparel in the stands — not to mention the occasional Ohio license plate in the parking lot — a trip to Bedford feels very much like a trip to Ohio, which is not a trip Michigan fans make for fun.

Bedford is a wrestling-crazed school, so over the last decade, their football teams have ranged from mildly competitive to not so competitive; since Chelsea’s teams have ranged from good to very good over the same time period, Bedford hasn’t managed to collect a victory over Chelsea at the varsity level. There have been a few years Bedford has put up a fight, but there have been other years that have been downright ugly. One of those ugly years occurred a few years ago, when Bedford provided one of my all-time favorite football sequences: thanks to a comedy of sacks and major penalties, the Kicking Mules managed to convert a first and goal into a fourth and goal from the 45 yard line. No kidding. It is the only time I can remember seeing a team forced to punt on fourth and goal.

This year, there was no fourth and goal from the 45, but that was primarily because the Bedford offense had trouble gaining even a single first down. In the first game on the new turf, the Chelsea defense smothered Bedford, holding the Kicking Mules to 13 yards and no first downs in the first half; by the end of the game, they managed to accumulate only seven first downs. In their first game, the Bedford offense had piled up yardage on the way to a victory, but the Chelsea defense wasn’t particularly interested in boosting Bedford’s 2007 offensive resume.

To show its gratitude for the defense’s hard work, the Chelsea offense scored four touchdowns on five first-half possessions; three were Nick Hill rushing touchdowns, and the other was a Jeff Adams touchdown pass. By the time the offense was done being excessively efficient, the game was well in hand for Chelsea; by halftime, every last trace of suspense was pounded to bits and mixed with the rubber pellets in the turf.

Under the watchful eyes of most of his coaches, Jeff Adams eludes a tackler.

Chris Schmelz made this leaping catch, but it was called back on a penalty.

In Chelsea, we like to keep our pants on. Here, Michael Lenneman works to maintain that standard.

Nick Hill laughs at your misguided attempts to tackle him.

That complete lack of suspense meant that everyone else got to play; Chelsea’s second teams got extensive playing time in the second half. And by “extensive,” I mean “all of it.” Backup quarterback Randy Cox got to attempt 16 passes (and complete 10 of them); backup running back Riley Feeney got to run free, as free as the wind blows for 70 yards; the backup defense got do all that fun stuff defenses get to do, like hit people and tackle ball carriers. And eventually, after the teams traded second-half touchdowns, Chelsea ambled off the field with a 34-7 victory.

Riley Feeney looks confused by the absence of defenders.

Leftovers:

• Three SEC schools now have turf fields: Pioneer, Saline and Chelsea. However, Chelsea is the only one of the three not to have permanent lines for other sports on the turf. Visually, it’s a relief; fields with lines for multiple sports are cluttered and considerably less appealing, and Chelsea is fortunate to be able to have only football markings on the field. However, if the field is needed for other sports, those sports are not out of luck: to add the necessary lines, there is a powder that can be applied to the turf and washed off after the event.

• Akel Marshall, the longtime voice of Chelsea football and basketball, has given up the microphone. High school sports fans encounter a wide range of announcers, from the not bad to the very bad; Chelsea fans have been fortunate to have Marshall’s consistent, evenhanded announcing for so many years. Thanks, Akel. (Now behind the football microphone is football stat guru Jason Morris. Thus far, he is proving to be a very capable successor.)

• Full game photo gallery.

Next week:
Chelsea faces the Indians of Tecumseh; the game is in Chelsea on Friday at 7:00 PM. Also, the new turf will be dedicated.